11.7.1999

Week of: 11/1-7

Eno. Caesar? Why, he’s the Jupiter of men.
Agr. What’s Antony? The god of Jupiter.
Eno. Spake you of Caesar? How! the nonpareil!

Enobarbus and Agrippa in Shakespeare’s
Antony and Cleopatra Act III, Scene II

Astrology is the music of the spheres, like the old “astrologer’s guild” suggests. And in keeping with the music of the sphere, there’s a good question about a Texas musician that can earn you a chance to get a real, abbreviated, “Planet Profile” custom crafted in FGS World Headquaters and Sound Studio [sent via email]. Texas boy: Meatloaf. Now just exactly where did he get that name from? Accuracy counts, so the writing between the lines on your page.

Aries : Jupiter is, indeed, firmly in your sign right now, and that’s supposed to be a good thing. Unfortunately, there is another influence, albeit a little more oblique, and that angle seems to be pushing on you harder. It’s one of Jupiter’s neighbors, and in some terms, it’s called a small planet. However, except for the fortunate few Aries, the rest of you are going to be feeling the effect of Mars on your Marigolds. I don’t mean this one lightly, but with the Sun and the Moon working in such close neighborhoods this week, and with Mars over yonder pushing all your Martian buttons this week, I’d take it a little easy on what you say. Be careful you don’t develop my “foot in mouth” or “boot in mouth” condition right now. That special leather isn’t good to chew on.

Taurus : You get to enjoy a growing sense of expectation right now, a sense that destiny and fate, and lady fortune, are all about to deliver something unto you. It’s right there, in a place where you can almost touch it, almost taste it and almost feel it. Sounds really good, doesn’t it? Sure enough, it’s “almost” there. I guess you have to have the right spin on the word, the right nuance of expression. In Texas, the word “fixin'” seems to appropriately convey the expression. It’s just fixin’ to get better , and this week, there is a ray of hope, like a single break in the astrology clouds that have lowered down on your head for a while. It’s like you’re about to break open a new package, a new gift that the stars have left at your feet. The trick is not to step in it, rather than take gentle advantage of what is about to come your way.

Gemini : By the end of the week, astrologers, especially yours truly here, are going to be pretty high on the Gemini list of people you do not like this week. It’s not the messenger, really, it’s merely a small planet, maybe the smallest planet in the system, and the quickest planet, too, which is causing the disruption in Gemini’s world. It’s Mercury Retrograde again. To make the best of the little one’s errant pathway through the sky, or to make the worst of it, this all starts at a very early degree of Sagittarius. Opposite you. And opposites attract. Did I tell you I loved you, how Gemini is the most exciting and best looking sign there is? And did that little love note fall on deaf ears this week? Sure enough. Usual cautions apply.

Cancer : There are good influences this week as the Sun and Moon swing through Scorpio. There are indifferent influences as Mercury goes retrograde, and there are negative influences as Mars continues to oppose you as he rides his red chariot through Capricorn. Take your pick as to which one fits you best. Being the sensitive, lunar influenced water sign that you are, I’m hoping that you get to feel the benevolent rays emanating from the Moon. Not to instill a level of doubt in your world view at time like this, but I doubt it. The Mars irritation is going to be exacerbated by Mercury in a stand still situation leaving you with a stand off situation this week. Walk away. Hold up or fold up, and this week, fold up looks like the best option for you. Some fights are a just not worth the effort.

Leo : Doesn’t much matter this week. Doesn’t much matter what I prognosticate for you, you’re going to be feeling fine right up until the weekend gets here. Then you’re going to be upset with me. Or, if it’s not me, it might be another Sagittarius, but I think some one will serve as a dark cloud over your normally sunny skies, come this weekend. Now, I’ve warned you about it. What can you do? I suggest a good book, perhaps a piece of fluff fiction, you know, something that’s fun, but you wouldn’t want your more literary friends to see you reading? Something light, without a lot of plot to get in the way of the swashbuckling action. There might even be a person with impossible but entirely attractive dimensions on the cover of this book. Plan on reading it this weekend because your party ideas just all got canceled by the planets. Doesn’t mean it’s a bad time, but a little time alone, out of the mainstream, might help.

Virgo : The planets are moving in an orderly, predictable way these days. Too bad people can’t move in the same, orderly, predictable way, too. You’re going to find that this a good week, except for one little problem. It’s like the days of the old cattle drives, and one weird cow keeps refusing to stay with the herd. You’re going to spend a little bit more time this week trying to get this one, errant critter back with the herd. You keep pointing out to them that everyone is going this one direction, and it would benefit this person to move in a direction with the rest of the herd. This might even be you, but I doubt it. It looks more like some cattle you are in charge of, and it looks like this one special person keeps refusing to follow the lead. The only thing you can do is go out, round them up, and hustle back in line, rustle them back into the herd. The nice thing is, this late in the season, the dust isn’t too bad. Small consolation. Good luck with the cattle drive this week — hope you can make it to the railhead without losing any of your stock.

Libra : “The few, the proud, the ones most likely to be sent to the front line in suicide mission…” that might be how the ad tag line should really run. And you’re going to feel a certain degree of camaraderie with the Marine Corps this week. You’re going to feel like you have been sent on an impossible mission, across enemy lines, to strike terror deep in the heart of the enemy. It’s one of those odd astrology facts, but more generals wind up being Libra than other sign. Or maybe that’s “little generals” I can never remember which it is. Of course, this week, you’re going to feel like you’re nothing more than an elite foot soldier, and the general obviously doesn’t have a clue. Other signs might have trouble with impossible odds, however, I humbly suggest that the greater the risk this week, the greater the rewards. And being the good Libra that you are, your special strike team has a chance of pulling it off this week. Remember to use stealth. It’s being clever that counts this week, not brute force.

Scorpio : I searched, in vain, to find some good Country OR Western lyrics that dealt with the New Moon. In fact, my C & W musician friends seem to be painfully unaware of the astrology influences in their lives. And they all seem to be concerned with the Full Moon, not the New one. But this weekend promises a New Moon, right here in Scorpio. Two things come to mind, and one of them is a nap. The other one involves planting some type of a crop that you want to harvest in about two weeks. It’s a little late for a winter planting right now, I’ve seen snow in the Panhandle of Texas in early November. But figure you’ve got some sort of winter crop is in order right now. The usual Mercury Retrograde stuff applies right now, too, because he’s going to back up into your sign for the duration. But get some kind of seed planted right now, maybe even something fun, in keeping with the Scorpio sense of humor, of course.

Sagittarius : Mercury is not nice to use Archer types right now. I was standing on the patio, talking to the guy who does the pool maintenance, and I was remarking about how it was an awful day because it was so cloudy, a virtual fog lowered on the lake and the pool. “But that’s what’s so good about it….” he insisted. This week is matter of perspective. What’s the point in having a pool, or a view of the pool, if it’s too cloudy and cool to enjoy it? Of course, if you work outside, the cool weather is a welcome relief. This week is a matter of perspective. I know I’m repeating myself but with Mercury starting his retrograde path in Sagittarius, it never hurts to emphasis the important points. Never hurts to say things twice. So it all depends on how you approach this week. It can be nice, if you enjoy the cool and cloudy weather.

Capricorn : There’s this little bit of odd, astrological lore that I’ve picked up, and it suggests that Mars actually likes being in Capricorn. I sure hope so, because that’s where Mars is right now, and it’s supposed to be nice to you. From what I’ve gathered, however, Mars is exciting you to a point where the rest of us can’t stand your inability to contain yourself. Boundless enthusiasm is fun at times, but right now, your unlimited glee can rub some of us the wrong way. And if you are one of the very few who gets irritated by Mars, then it the situation gets worse. Now, the proper thing to do is put this extra Martian energy to work for you. Harness yourself up to one of hose treadmill looking things at the gym. Or toss some weights around. Something. Anything. The more physical, the better.

Aquarius : To some, Bass Fishing is merely a hobby. To others, it can be the most religious of pursuits, not a mere hobby, but a spiritual experience. Trying to explain this sort of behavior, however, to non-believers, is an exercise in futility this week. Especially this week. The gentle fog rising off the lake at sun rise, the purr of the trolling motor, careful selection of a lure. Picking bait leftover from last night’s sushi dinner, opening up a thermos of coffee and enjoying a silent first cup in the predawn moments of the day as the sun is slowly leaking orange light over the water’s edge…. they just don’t get it. Too bad, too, because this is important to you this week. There is some aspect of your own, inner sanctum, that you want to share wit the world, and worst of all, they just don’t get it. Don’t worry. Keep it to yourself this week.

Pisces : In the Texas Hill Country, just south of Austin, there is magnificent temple, and it rises like a beacon above the scrub oaks and gently rolling hills, like giant light in the night to attract pilgrims from afar. It’s a real temple, a center for one of the more profound Eastern sects. I’ve been there, they have a special grove for peaches. During the summer harvest months, you can pick and save all the peaches you want, for a nominal donation. The tall spires of the temple rise above the landscape and look quite out of place — it’s building that belongs in India, maybe some place similar, and what it is doing here defies normal logic. But this temple’s rainbow hues preside over the Texas countryside, and its groves of fruit bring in a collection of tourists, seekers, and the curious. you might want to consider a pilgrimage to just such a place this week. A little break from the routine, a perhaps an hour or two of meditation in the quiet confines of a holy place would help. Of course, that means my Pisces buddy is going fishing this weekend. Probably alone, too, because no one seems to understand you this week.

(c) Kramer Wetzel, 1998, 1999

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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