11.15.1999

Week of: 11/14-20

Now, luck yet send us, and a little wit
Will serve to make our play hit;
According to the palates of the season,
Here is rhyme, not empty of reason.

Ben Jonson’s Volpone Prologue

Tom Waits suggested this particular Texas musician was “Caruso in sunglasses and a leatherjacket.” For a chance to get in the running for a free “Planet profile” complied in the FGS Astrology Shop and Recording Studio, let us know who Tom Waits was talking about.

Aries : It’s going to be an exuberant week, one with lots of energy, lots of fun. As the traditional Texas holiday season begins to grow closer, as we get ready for even more fun, you’re gong to find that you have an equal, if not greater, growing sense of anticipation. Now, this is like Deer Season, but you’ve missed the opening shots. Not much of a chance of bagging Bambi’s daddy at this point. However, the idea of getting together with friends, perhaps swilling some beer, and hanging out in a deer blind for the weekend seems appealing. Let’s face it, you’re not really going because you want to hunt, it’s the idea of camaraderie, old friends, getting together, a certain party like atmosphere. And a chance to get out some firearms, which is always a favorite sport around here, whatever the excuse. It’s your excuse for play time.

Taurus : There is a certain vested interest I have in what is going on with Taurus this week. In fact, there’s a certain vested interest you have with what is happening in the Taurus sky. Visually, there’s a not a lot to see, other than Saturn who pops up shortly after sun down, and he traipses across the night sky every evening. And that is Taurus, the Tropical version, where he’s at. Unfortunately, he doesn’t make Taurus feel very tropical right now. And there’s some other, less visual, but nevertheless important little planets kicking around. Insight is the keyword for the week. You are going to be afforded great insight this week. Problems which had no visible solution will become clear. In moment of reverie, you’ll cast your mind back to this last summer, and realize that you missed a good place to fish. That spot along the south shore, where the cypress tree was, yes, you needed to dally there longer. Write down your ideas, make a Post – It note to yourself. You’ll get it next time.

Gemini : True love, in its highest form, is a wonderful idea. And it looks good for Gemini this week. There is also a slightly less elevated for of true love, and I would admonish you to be aware of that, as well. It’s the influence of Venus, as she begins to approach an angle to Uranus, and you get to fill out the third leg of the triangle. Unfortunately, Mercury, your ruling planet-thing, is still going backwards, and that creates a small degree of havoc with the aforementioned “luv thang”. As long as you are willing to work within the constraints of the Mercurial Fling, I believe that you can work something good out of this. I mean, the bigger planets are working to your advantage, so it’s not at all bad. Big influences are good whereas little influences are detrimental.

Cancer : The first of the week begins with the frustration meter on the fishing depth gauge looking pretty bad. But as the week slowly unfolds, or quickly deteriorates, you’ll find that your attitude is getting better. No, none of the situations are getting any better, but your feeling towards these situation greatly improves. In fact, you don’t care too much when your depth gauge indicates that there is plenty water underneath your Cancer Bass Boat in the Lake of Life, and you suddenly run aground. It’s just another one of the little Mercury tricks, perhaps the computer’s inboard memory skipped a beat, but you just don’t let it get you down. And if you do run into extra shallow water, and if this lack of flotation encumbers you for a the rest of the week, just remember that you’re not the only one who is getting bad depth readings from their software and hardware. Look around the office, and you’ll see that you’re not the only person cursing at these machines. Or the Mercury outboard.

Leo : We are now entering the midnight phase of the Leo year. It’s the time when you are more concerned with deep, dark and brooding thoughts. It’s a time when your normally light and insouciant attitude gets a little more serious. This is further exacerbated by the fact that Mercury is still in the midst of an evil tailspin. A little brooding this week, a furrowed Leo brow, for a change, would do you some good. And when the other signs aren’t solicitous enough of your worried look, don’t worry about them. This is a week to concentrate on yourself. Rather than sound like some sort of motivational self – help book, though, consider that this is merely a front so people will leave you alone. As long as Mercury Machinations are making matters miserable, keep up a good front so every one else keeps a goodly distance. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.

Virgo : There are highs and lows associated with this week. Of the good stuff, well, you’re Virgo and perhaps no more need be said. Of the lows, it looks like these fall in the category of interpersonal relations. I usually try to write a relaxing horoscope for Virgo, but this week, settling down and accepting the status quo is not the idea. Get up and go. You’ve got a little extra energy this week, so put this to good use. Remember the condition of the heavens, thought, and remember the admonishment about the Mercury cycle, so perhaps a direct confrontation is not the best avenue. But getting out, and getting about, and just generally “doing” is an important idea this week. I know it might be a little out of season, but perhaps a “social” trip to the bait shop will help at a time like this.

Libra : Libra is almost “lucky Libra” this week. Almost. Not quite, but almost. And with luck so close, a little bit of effort, a little late night work on your own, might just yield up some pretty tangible results. Of course, this good luck for Libra is dependent upon your actually taking some kind of decisive action. And this looks more and more like work that you bring home with you. It reminds me of the time I brought my work home with me, and the girlfriend didn’t take kindly to seeing me appear on her doorstep with a stringer of fish that needed to be cleaned. I did a pretty thorough job of trashing her kitchen. Her cats, however, still loved me. The message in that parable is that you want to be careful about what you stuff in your briefcase to take home to work on. Some of your projects are not as acceptable as others. Pick and choose a little.

Scorpio : Halfway through the week, Scorpio’s Sun and the Mercury (apparent) trajectory get confused. While this normally leaves a higher than usual degree of confusion, in your Scorpio “mind of minds,” you’re going to get a little break. It’s not a big step forward, not yet, but at least you feel like you’ve stopped the bleeding. It’s like one of those puncture wounds from a large fishing hook, the kind of poke that keeps bleeding even though it’s not serious. But just as you think you’ve hit a vein or something, come on, it’s only a flesh wound, in the middle of the week, the bleeding starts to stop. Like the blood from the wound, the ideas begin to flow from your brain. The only problem we still have is that Mercury is still in a bad way, and this presents a challenge. In other words, you might have the “right stuff” but getting your ideas across to the rest of us might prove to be challenging.

Sagittarius : I hate weeks like this. The little romance asteroid is playing a game of pick up football in Sagittarius. What started out as a friendly game has gotten serious. Mercury is retrograde in the sign before Sag, which makes for some uncomfortable situation in respect to communications. And the whole mess is crowned by other, positive but not strong influences, like Jupiter, Uranus and even Venus. I know I’ve used this example before, but I think it’s worth repeating… nothing is worse than sitting in an East Austin Taco Stand where English is not the common language, ordering in a reasonable version of Spanish from the rather attractive serving person who you are trying to impress with your bilingual ability… then, as your supper arrives, and she asks a quick question in her native language, you answer in flawless French. What worse is the Southern French accent which may be linguistically related to Romance Languages, but it doesn’t resemble anything the server can understand. It’s okay, they all think I’m a crazy white boy anyway, which maybe true, but that’s another story.

Capricorn : You week starts out like an all-terrain assault vehicle rampaging over the countryside. You’re just out there, tearing it all up. The only thing I would try to caution you about is the terrain you’ve decided to make “all-terrain” test with. There’s a good chance that you went flying over a an old fence this week, and in your haste, you failed to notice a little sign that said, “Trespassers will be violated.” Your limitless enthusiasm, this week can get you in trouble. It seems that there are few details you might overlook. In fact, that sign which suggested you shouldn’t trespass might have already been face first in the mud. Doesn’t much matter, though, the owner will kindly point out that it’s there in spirit, and he has the same spirit to motivate you right off his property. I don’t want to get int he way of you having fun this week, just check out the details before you go restlessly wandering into some place you shouldn’t be.

Aquarius : We’re only going to try this once. Okay, maybe twice. Or we’ll keep trying until we get the point across. It’s not such a hot week, not for you, because you’ve got this growing sense of some impending doom that’s been building up like a rain cloud over West Texas. Sooner or later, you know that one lone cloud will unleash a torrent of evil weather, high winds, hail the size of base balls, floods of biblical proportions, you get the idea, typical Texas weather. Happens all the time. So you’ve got this uneasy feeling that this is going on. You can see the clouds, you just don’t know what to make of them. Instead of trying to make too much of some silly, metaphorical clouds, just realize that this feeling of impending doom won’t last much longer. And the base ball sized hail doesn’t happen every time. I think I’ve only seen it two or three times in the last two or three years. See? Nothing to worry about really — but covered parking does help.

Pisces : I should have warned you last week, but you wouldn’t have listened then, however, this week, maybe, just maybe, you’ll pay attention. You’ve got this new romance thing kicking around, but it isn’t doing you any good. And when I speak about romance, Pisces always assumes that it means with another person. It looks to me like it’s romance with an idea, a concept, perhaps something you’ve lifted from a book or a magazine you were reading. Perhaps it’s a new piece of software. That always gets me turned on. Whatever the idea, it’s there in full force this week. Go ahead and indulge this new “thang.” In the long run, it might turn into more of an obsession rather than a real and valid concept, but you won’t know until you’ve run with the idea for while. So get on the metaphysical track shoes and work on it.

(c) Kramer Wetzel, 1998, 1999

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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