“Mercy,
n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders”
[The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce]
Last week’s trivia
question was from Shakespeare’s “12th Night.” And context was important, especially
when you consider who said what. The guy was reading from a fraudulent epistle,
destined to make him look bad. The comedy lies in the fact that this quote is
often taken out of context.
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>”The soothsayer has
spoken well, forsooth, and has covered a lot more than
>the Ides of March. He doth deserve some reward. Since I have no coin,
>then we must conjure a way to send our gratitude across the skies. We must
>give thanks for the internet and credit cards.”
And if once a
week, isn’t enough, there’s always the local version here.
Aries
: We have an uncomfortable situation that is a “developing situation” here
in Aries this week.
Time alone. Home alone. Or, as we refer to it here at the office, “Boat Time.”
Boat Time should not be confused with “Boat Drinks” of Jimmy Buffet fame,
however. And even though you might wind up with Cabin Fever this week, it’s
no time to shoot six holes in your freezer. It’s another one of the musical
allusions this week, and it makes a lot of sense because you’re feeling like
you’ve got this terrible urge go
some place different, and being locked into a routine this week is wearing
thin on your soul. As much as I would like to promise a vacation, I’m afraid
I can’t right now. But you do deserve one, even if I can’t deliver.
Taurus : Saturn is making a little bit of progress this week. Not much,
mind you, but a little bit. You’re going to feel like you’re in a canoe this
week, and you are frantically paddling upstream. You know your destination,
you have a target acquired, you are ready to do battle with everything, but
you just can’t seem to make any headway against this raging torrent of a creek.
The terms “raging torrent” and “creek” don’t often go together. And this creek
you’re in is going to feel like something else, not the placid stream you
were hoping for. Now, I wouldn’t want to leave my fine Taurus friend with
such a nasty
image without some degree of hope. There’s a bend in the creek, and right
around that turn, the creek broadens out into a huge stream, with some deep
pools where you can fish and rest with a degree peace. So it’s not without
some hope. It’s just too bad this is a week where you wish you had a decent
outboard motor on your Taurus craft to help get you upstream faster.
Gemini : Be still
and quiet for a change. Shut up for about 30
minutes. Listen to what other people are telling you. I realize that this
might sound like harsh words to your Gemini ears, but set a watch by it. Listen
for a full 30 minutes. Take the auditory input from other places, other people,
and process this data through your lightening quick Gemini mental processor.
Your brain works faster and better than any computer ever made, including
some only dreamed of so far. In fact, you also have an intuitive ability early
this week, something that you can rely on for even better information. The
trick is to get you to close your mouth. Put the telephone away for a few
minutes, take a break. Give it a rest. You’ve got some important information
that is “incoming”
this week. From the way the stars look, my best guess is that it’s delivered
verbally to you.
Cancer : There’s a time
in the spring, in Texas, when the wildflowers just erupt all over the place.
Bluebonnets in particular. It’s a flower that has many subtle hues and shades,
and some years it’s prettier than other years. There’s a complex equation
for what years the wildflowers are the best, something about a decent winter
freeze, a drought, some rain, typical Texas weather stuff. Your personal weather
right now is insuring that you’re going to have a bumper crop of wildflowers,
just about any day now. I understand that this is coming a might bit early,
but you are a Cancer, and now is time to thinking about something else that
has to do with flowers, and it’s about three weeks away. Get the hint?
Leo : “They”
are not out to get you. I understand that you feel like “they”
are out to get you. I understand that you see a lurking black helicopter where
ever you turn. I understand that the conspiracy
friends of yours have provided you with some compelling evidence that there
is, in fact, a group of people out to get you. I know that you are worried
about this. This week bodes no well for you. Of course, that does sound rather
fatalistic. Maybe it’s not so bad. Even though you feel as if there is something
lurking, right out of sight, I hope you understand that there isn’t nearly
as much trouble waiting for you as your brain keeps assuring that there is.
It’s getting convoluted at this point. This week, don’t be so paranoid. There
is a fine line between using a little extra caution, like making a back up,
and being outright freaky and barricading yourself at home. Just make the
back up. We’ll both be happier.
Virgo : A little moody music is rather nice at this point. Not mood
music, even though you feel like it might properly lift your spirits. Moody
music for those who are kind of blue this week. The deal is this, there’s
a relative movement of the moon, and when this is overlaid on your chart,
you get to see some rather nice things happening — this weekend. It’s
the week going up to the weekend that is so weird, hence the moody
music. Perhaps some old blues, maybe something sad and forlorn. My personal
preference would be some really sad, old style country music with lamentable
steel guitar strains floating through the back part of your brain. Now that
you understand that this is a transitional phase, as the weekend draws closer,
you can pick
up the beat a little. You’ll be doing mad, frenzied two-step dance before
too long.
Libra : There are just all kinds of exciting events occurring this
week in Libra Land. But that age old ideal of Libra Balance is going to
be tested. Sorely tested. In fact, you’re going to feel sore from the
astrological beating you get this week. There’s just not enough time in every
day of this week to get everything accomplished. You’re going to feel like
you’ve got a contractor’s “punch list” going, only, you’re going to feel a
little like you’re a punching bag as opposed to a regular pugilist this time.
Not that you can’t get it all done, but it’s going to present a challenge
in the way you manage your time. So look at that list and figure out what
is most important. Don’t let yourself get side tracked, like the time I went
out to the truck to get a tool out of the bed, then I got to digging around
in the glove box, and I found a fuse which meant I had to look at the fuse
box which then meant I had to open the hood. You get the picture?
Stick to the biggest items on your list this week.
Scorpio : By now, I’m sure we have had our little talk about how you
deal with authority figures in your life. I’m not going to suggest that
it is a particular person who is going to be a little difficult this week,
but you are going to feel like there is something strange going on, and you
are going to suggest that you did, indeed, you did hear those paranoid murmurs
a while back, and this week just goes to prove that you were right. Of course
you were right, only the distant whisperings, the dire warnings you heard
back then, and the real
problem, these are addressing different things right now. You can run
away this week, but it won’t do you much good because you’ve still got a problem
with a central authority figure in your life. It’s one of those weeks when
you just want to make sure you’ve got the insurance
papers in the glove box of the truck, just in case. You can never be too
prepared.
Sagittarius : I’m going to delve in a rather arcane branch of astrology
and suggest that it indicates that this is a good week. What I’m observing
in your chart is that Venus makes a hasty
exit from our sign this week. Good bye Venus, hello good times. It’s that
simple. (That’s not so arcane, you think.) There was a lingering problem,
but with your improving attitude this week, that problem won’t come back to
haunt you until this weekend. This weekend, though, I would suggest some time
alone. Friday, Saturday, take a little time off from everything. Sunday and
onward into next week? We’re back to things being rather good. And in my practical
experience, that Venus
thing is over rated. Now that she’s moved on, we’re all a lot
happier.
Capricorn : If you are a smart
Capricorn, and I rarely (only one so far) encounter less than bright Caps,
then you’re paying attention to more than one sign. As such, you are wondering
about this Venus thing after you read the Sagittarius Scope. But see, this
planet affects each sign in a different way. I trust the boys in the back
room to do the computing, I just read the charts they bring me. Now, Venus
isn’t much past the first seven degrees of Cap by the end of this week, but
there will be a pervading sense of well being this week — courtesy of
that Love
Planet, Miss Venus. So work with this beneficial
attitude. It’s a good time to work on some cohorts and get them convinced
you are right. Your gift of the Golden Tongue is enhanced this week, use it.
Aquarius : There is a myriad
of Aquarius folks having birthdays this week, and those should be noted. Hey
baby, who loves you? Now that the birthday celebrations are covered, let’s
look at the planets. There’s a growing sense that there is something which
needs to be done this week, and yes, it’s going to be up to you to get it
done. No one else is better equipped to handle this week than Aquarius. This
is due to the influence of either the Sun, or maybe Neptune, Uranus, or Mercury.
Or even the odd lunar phase. But it all adds up to you being able to handle
just about any exigency which comes along. “Exigency” is fancy way of saying
your fishing buddy buried a hook in his palm, and he needs you to perform
minor surgery, right there in the boat, in order to cut that sucker out. Of
course, your definition might be a little different, but you’re the
one to handle it this week.
Pisces : You know you are getting ready for something big right now,
correct? You did get that memo,
didn’t you? Missed the message and the metaphor, Pisces? Alas. If you check
back through some old paperwork, maybe dig through your file of thousands
of e-mail messages, then I’ll bet that you can turn up that message I’m referring
to. I know that you are a little frantic with Mars riding on your heels so
hard. It’s like you have one of those sheep dogs, the kind of dependable dog
that treats herding sheep like a game. So this week is herding you along,
just like that dog does the little lambs, nipping at your heels. You just
need to exercise a little caution this week, careful not to trample that good
companion right now. And try to figure out which e-mail it was that was so
important. I know you’re forgetting something, like maybe an invitation or
a meeting that was important. Let that little
dog herd you right along this week.
