Week of: 4/10-16

“Mend my company, take way thyself.”
Shakespeare’s Timon of Athens [IV.iii.285]

April 14th is St. Lidwyna’s Day, the patron saint of skaters, which, in and of itself, is no big deal, but I don’t think of ice in Texas, I get an image of the patron saint of people on skateboards.

Want a cool shot at getting in the running for a free [abbreviated] astrological chart report, a planet profile, custom crafted in the Austin Zamboni shed? Send us a complete listing of all the teams in the league which the Austin Ice Bats are in. Ice Hockey in Texas, it fairly boggles the mind. And wait’ll you see the names of those other teams.

Aries : As a compatible fire sign, I understand that you have a degree of passion, sometimes unmatched by any other sign in the zodiac. I understand that you’ve got this dual set of desires this week. Part of you wants to get out of the house, part of you wants to stay home. I have a solution right now, and it’s a simple image. One of the trailer parks I stay in has a dilapidated old dock, it’s a pretty rickety structure, but it’s good enough for a little bit of cane fishing. So I can be at home, and I can still be at work, drowning worms. With the relative astrological action you’re seeing right now, you want to be home, and you need to be at work. Go to your little dock, it’s almost as good as sitting in your living room and fishing at the same time. You’re also going to be pleasantly surprised about what sort of stuff pops up. The central theme is one of success.

Taurus : Mars gets to make a pass at Saturn this week, and that’s going to bring all those Saturn questions tumbling out. And just as soon as Mars starts begging questions out of Saturn, you’re also going to have a growing sense of unease. It’s the Sun who is in the final stage of Aries. It’s hinting, hoping, and laying some groundwork for something good to come. The problem with “something good to come” means that it ain’t here yet. And there’s a still a degree of unresolved problems right now. The big question, the big dilemma, the question that fisherman face on a regular basis is whether to use live or artificial bait. Which one is going to work for you this week? With Saturn and Mars spoiling things the way they usually do, I would stick to the plastic variety right about now. There’s some logic in here, because you’re going to need something that will keep for a little longer. If you buy a bucket of worms, then there’s a chance that some of those little night crawlers would dry out (it’s Mars, really) before the end of the week (or maybe Saturn).

Gemini : Dream big. Don’t be afraid to have fantasies about total world domination under you present influences. In fact, you might just start plotting on how to take over the world right now. Imagine your self as the President For Life, Supreme Commander and leader of all the free world. I realize that there is a contradiction in here, but let’s toss a little logic out the window, or better yet, let’s use Gemini Logic right now. Build this idea up in you mind. It’s like building an empire. Consider what your fist step should be, take over some big corporation so you can more effectively launch your great enterprises and thus achieve your goals. Now let’s go back to being a Gemini. “It shore does look like a lot of work,” you think (I’m quoting a local Gemini buddy). Instead of trying to smash you dreams right now, I would hope that you realize some of this is well within your grasp, it’s just a matter of actually grasping for it this week. Don’t be afraid to plot your first couple of steps. I know you can do it.

Cancer : Turn on the charm at work. I know you’ve got it. With the relatively minor influence of Mercury making a small — but important — transition, you’re going to find that your charm and wit excels this week. You can keep us all entertained with your ability to recount tales, your ability to remember jokes which it seems like no one has ever heard, and the constant barrage of subtle innuendo. It’s like the charm which left a few weeks ago is all back, and it’s time for you to step in the spot light as entertainer of the week. In Shakespeare’s canon of work, the Fool provides comic relief, and, to certain extent, he also provides valuable lesson. He always seems to speak the truth. The Fool does it in a humorous fashion, and he’s entertaining. That’s your role this week, play the fool. But remember, you’re playing a carefully crafted part, not just some buffoon. Deliver that message with grace, charm, a degree of wit and humor.

Leo : There are good weeks, then there are weeks that you wish you could just drag out a big eraser and make that whole week go away like it didn’t exist. Sorry I can’t provide you with the eraser. Would that I could. But be a little forewarned this week, there’s going to be one event which is going to seem a little unsettling. Okay, it might seem a lot unsettling. And this one event could ruin your whole week or it could provide you with a situation to laugh at. It’s like being in a fishing boat, and you get up to get something out of your tackle box, and as your reaching for the top drawer, you knock the box over. Bad situation, all that stuff scattered all over the bottom of the boat. Cuss a little. Then start putting the gear back in the box. While your doing that, you uncover a special lure you haven’t seen in years. Give it a spin this week. The unlucky events seem to reveal something that’s useful.

Virgo : Goods things are kicking around for you. A lot of the signs have their collective dander up. A lot of the signs are increasingly uncomfortable. And to make this situation for them worse, you’re feeling better and better. There’s a certain calm which is going to be pervading your senses right now. It’s like the lake here, on one of those early spring mornings when it was foggy in the morning, then a little drizzle, then it begins to all burn off, looking better and better all the time. Grab your gear and go fishing. Or grab your whatever and go chase after that idea. I prefer pursuing fish because I get a real sense of accomplishment, and those Bass have a sporting fight in them. You’ll find that this is a week that you’re up to just about any challenge. Go for it. [Visualize 5 lbs. Bass]

Libra : The big news isn’t much a problem for you, but there is a common theme that I’m getting a lot of e-mail these days, all from the Libra Camp. It has to do with redefining goals, strategies, and how to more effectively manage what’s already there. I would never, ever accuse Libra’s of being pecuniary. In fact, you guys are usually the opposite, exquisite tastes within a moderate budget. (motto: Champagne flavor with beer budget) This week is a challenge just like that, how to dress to impress when you can only really afford to make a trip back to your closet. If you’re smart about it, though, there’s a way to mix and match some of the things that you’ve got, and there’s a chance to pull it all together. I know you can swing this week, it’s matter of working with what you’ve already got.

Scorpio : It’s a good thing that you’re such a durable sign. You’re going to feel like your durability is being tested this week. It’s not all bad, because every Scorpio I know will survive the test with a degree of finesse and aplomb. It’s the question of surviving right now that’s going to have you in a little bit of a tailspin. “What do you mean, ‘surviving’? That’s not what I wanted to hear!” Go easy on me, and I’ll promise that there is some relief in this mess. Mars and Saturn heat up a problem that you’ve been avoiding, and that problem has to come out of the Scorpio oven. Looks like this week is about as good a time as any. As much as you want this problem to just go away, it won’t. So you’re going to be coerced into dealing with it. If you’re a little more adaptable than usual, if you’re a little more willing to switch your priorities right now, and if you’re able to deal with the odd flashback that you experience, then this will work out. Be prepared for the unexpected, though. It’s going to be a weird week.

Sagittarius : One too many of fine, most excellent, Sagittarius friends has been on the landline to me, griping about all the little problems that are going on. “And then she said this…” or “you’ll never guess what he said next….” This isn’t a week to sit there, dial up your friends, and give them a litany of complaints. This is a week to grab the problem, face it square in the face, and then go some place else. Hey, you have to admit, you sort of confronted the difficult stuff. In some circles, there’s the old adage, “admitting you have a problem is the first step in getting over it.” So admit there’s a problem, and deal with it later. Make a mental note that it can be dealt with later. The minor flavor of the week is good, so try to enjoy that, instead.

Capricorn : You know, if I suggest one more pause for the Capricorn I know, she’s going to grab me around the throat, apply pressure, and scream, “Pause THIS!” Still, there’s a moment or two of quiet reflection which would benefit you guys during this week. I’m not about to suggest that you put your whole week on hold while you quietly contemplate your navel. If you’re fishing , you might want to contemplate your naval, but that’s just a bad joke. But like me in this scenario, and I’m sure there are a few Capricorn who would like to apply the pressure, you’re going to find yourself hurrying long, perhaps too much, and at one point, you’re going to be gasping for breath. That’s an indication from your body that it’s time to slow down, hit the “pause” button on the video of life, and take a little break. Just consider it a chance to catch your breath, if nothing else.

Aquarius : “Talk to me, baby,” is your catch phrase for this week. “Talk to me, honey,” though, might be a slightly more common version of this expression, at least, around here it would be more prevalent. The image that should go with this is a guy sitting at his desk, and he’s leaning way back in his chair, got his feet up on the desk, and he’s the consummate deal maker, and he’s in rare form, wheeling and dealing, flipping deals, and selling pasts, presents, and most important, futures. The question I have for you this week, is which end of the phone are you on? The good end? Are you the deal maker this week? Or are you on the other end of the line, feeling like you’re getting hooked some how, wonder when the hook is going to be set, and wondering if you’re going to have to struggle for a long time, or if this is going to be a short one. You have the ability to be the one in control right now. The planets are oddly in your favor, what with Venus and Mercury in Aries, by the end of the week.

Pisces : There’s a reason why I’ve been dealing with the concept of the psychic Pisces side, and the idea that you guys are communicating a lot right now. It’s a growing sense of what this whole coming few years is really all about. It has a lot to do with how you communicate what you know, and that’s a point I’ve been gently chiding you about for the last few weeks. It’s the emphasis of the big “thing” that’s coming down the pike. Or maybe it is a pike that’s coming. Of course, I’m not referring to what was used by infantry in early Medieval warfare, no, I’m referring to a Pike the Fish. Voracious feeder, and that’s part of what’s going on with your psyche, at times like these, you get to feeling like your mind is giant vacuum and you’re beginning to suck up all the available data. You do get some breathing space, as this week goes by, you do get a chance to feel a little more rested, and you do get a chance to collate some of this data which has been surging down the pike at you.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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