Week of: 4/17-23

“Love all, trust a few,
Do wrong to none, be able for thine enemy
Rather in power, than use.”
Shakespeare’s All’s Well that Ends Well [Act I, scene i]

Right after sunset, perhaps it’s one of those truly awe inspiring West Texas sunsets with the shades of rose and mauve in it, perhaps a dusting of burnt orange, too, just for old time’s sake, there are three planets which are visible to the naked eye, that would be Mars, Saturn and Jupiter. They are getting together in Taurus. Tag Team Taurus Astrology, as it were. In keeping with the planets, where is the longest barrier island in the United States? Be specific, and a right answer might win you coveted “FGS Planet Profile” [abbreviated version] delivered via electronic mail.

Aries : Shortly before Sunrise, Venus and Mercury are the morning stars, as they are often called. Of course, in your wonderful little Aries brain, you’re going to remind yourself that these are not stars at all, but light reflected from the the planets’ surfaces, and these two planets are having a rather delightful affect on your life right now. More or less. I suspect, given the nature of the two, that this comes under the heading of more rather than less. The problem with the “more” effect is that you brain doesn’t always want to connect to your heart, and neither one seems to be synchronized with your mouth. Reminds me of the time I had been pleading my undying love to a number of females, and the next phone call was Bubba. As I got off the line, I was busy trying to tell him that I loved him. Of course, this particular Bubba is an understanding individual, so he didn’t care much about what I said. He was worried about bait that week. But you do seem to have that same drive that I had. Be careful about what you say, nothing is worse than being asked to back it up. Of course, just about any bait you select this week will catch what you want.

Taurus : Happy Birthday Month to all those nice Taurus people I know. Sure, it’s going to be great. Wonderful. Of course, as you might have noticed, there are a couple of planets in your sign right now, and this planetary alignment is getting bigger and stronger with every day. This week, however, we’re going to concentrate on Mars (again). He’s a quite the hot little number, and it’s like an exchange I had once when I asked a date what I should wear to the party. “That little pink chiffon number you’ve got should work just fine,” was her reply. And there I was thinking it was just a time to suit up, you know, the nice shirt, the suit that smells like moth balls, that sort of thing. So as Mars heats you up this week, consider your own, pink chiffon number. Or maybe it’s the silk dress that shows you off in all the right places, if you know what I mean. It’s a week filled with weird energy, and looking good doesn’t insure that you’re going to be feeling good, but you can always fool a lot of us with appearances. And what we don’t know about you right now — it won’t hurt us this week.

Gemini : The shift of the Sun’s relative position, from Aries to Taurus, in the midst of the week, offers a chance to change a few things in your life. Personally, this is what I consider a great astrological time to pursue activities which don’t require a lot of human interaction. It’s not a good time to interface with with other folks. I realize that such a pronouncement can feel like a death blow to a good Gemini, but work with the idea of working alone right now. As Mars gets closer to your sign, you get a feeling that there is something which is building up, a pressure between your shoulder blades, a degree of angst which you can’t seem to put your finger on right now. Don’t panic, and get yourself out on the lake, in a boat, alone. Of course, no one will believe what kind of luck your having, but that’s their problem, not yours.

Cancer : This is a week when there is a lot of focus away from your individual needs. In fact, there’s a lot of attention given to how you fit in the grand scheme of things. You’re boating friends wonder about your bass boat. In the strictest of fishing circles, water skiing is an unholy pursuit. The only thing worse than water skiing is the messy variety of “leisure crafts” which look a lot more like an off road motorcycle on the lake. Now, this week, you’ve got a problem with these off road motorcycles at the lake, and your fishing friends. I don’t know if this is the time to make a true confession and admit that you’ve ridden on one of those, and I don’t know if this is the time to attempt to explain that those leisure crafts are fun, if taken in moderation. I’m not sure your fishing friends will understand that sentiment at all. I do. You can tie a trolling line to one of those suckers and really have some sporting fun. But try explaining that? Better not, not this week.

Leo : I got off an airplane after a working weekend, took a deep breath of Austin Air, got back to the trailer, and saddled up to the home computer. There were roughly fourteen thousand e-mails waiting on me, about a foot and half of postcards, and the cat’s bowl was empty. Of course I fed the cat first, we all have to have priorities in our life. The phone starts ringing, the beeper goes off, the answering machine is broken, and someone set the alarm clock to make an annoying noise at 6 in the evening. And it was only a Monday. You’ve got a whole week — just like my fateful Monday. Deal with it. If you take each new challenge as a challenge, and deal with it as it comes along, you’re going to find that you can really get a lot of work done in record time. I did. I even managed to sneak out for ice cream, a little later. I can’t promise ice cream for you, but there is a chance of rest in here somewhere, and some hard earned rewards.

Virgo : This is the beginning of something good. This is the starting point. Now is the time. Well, maybe not right now, but it is a time when all the pieces are beginning to come together. Ever work on a jigsaw puzzle? Ever get one of those 5,000 piece suckers all scattered across the table, and you don’t have a clue where to start? By the end of this week, you’ve built up all the borders, the corner pieces all fit in place, and there’s a sense that you can actually get all of this worked out. Or a crossword puzzle? Same idea. Maybe it’s even the New York Times crossword puzzle from last week’s Sunday paper. There are just a few blanks left over by the end of the week, but you know, you’re starting to see how all of this fits together. You’ll be able to guess at the words, or find that missing piece “ere long.” I promise.

Libra : All I can think about for Libra is a simple word that seems to echo from the deepest recesses of my brain. “Party.” Of course, since this is my brain case, there does seem to be a bit of an echo in here, and it’s that word, over and over. I know that you’re not really the party animal, but you start this week out feeling so good, and if you’re not feeling good, you supposed to be feeling good, and maybe a celebration of some kind will help you feel good. It does get into a little bit of cycle, and once you get on the wagon, the cycle begins to feel like you’ve turned the corner. It’s a matter of attitude. The marketing guys used to assure us that “attitude is everything.” Feel good this week. Even if you don’t feel good, you should try to. I still think that the week has more good than ill.

Scorpio : There’s a form of relief that comes from having structure in your life. There’s a sense of well-being and comfort from the same routine every day. There’s a sense of “all being right in the world” which is derived from the same, repetitive tasks. One Scorpio I know, always concludes an evening by setting up the coffee maker (Our Lady of Caffeine) so in the morning, all one has to do is stumble to the coffee maker and press the “on” button. Ignition. That wonderful aroma of the juices flowing, the confident burble of hot water dripping through the grinds, the promise of an eye opening experience is just a few minutes away. This week it’s like you lose your cool when you discover that someone didn’t set the coffee machine up the night before. Don’t get too angry because your structure has been ruined this week. Just find some beans, grind them suckers up yourself, boil the water, find a filter. It is a lot of effort, but it does work out okay. You’re just stuck with some extra steps in your normal, operating routine.

Sagittarius : There is a certain degree of satisfaction that comes from a job well-done. And there’s a degree of satisfaction that comes from a steak that’s just medium rare. But I would tend to look for the inner, self – congratulatory job well done for this inner calm all week. The problem with the well-done and medium rare aspects of this week is that the job well-done doesn’t give you a chance to get to enjoy a steak medium rare. Personally, I prefer the steak to be more like Sushi, but I guess how you like your dead cow parts is a call you get to make yourself. But this week, despite the good influences, you’re going to have to rely on your own judgment in order to receive the accolades for your efforts. In other words, you may be doing a job well, but you ain’t making enough green stuff to take yourself out for a steak. Yet.

Capricorn : Capricorn’s are a rare breed. And this rare breeding in your sign is important right about now because you guys are doing quite well with all the build up over the astrological and astronomical events of the heavens. In fact, this stuff helps you out. A lot. It’s a good time, for you. There is a little bump in your road, early in the week, but this is nothing more than the dead carcass, a little road kill which needs to be overlooked. I had a friend who used to stop the truck at every dead critter in the road and collect feathers, hooves, and miscellaneous body parts because that person found the road kill was the easiest way to get the necessary pieces for whatever “witches brew” was getting cooked up. I humor folks like that. So whatever your bump in the middle of the road is, consider it a chance to collect something useful. Of course, the only thing I can think of with road kill is chili — yes, it can make delicious chili — don’t be alarmed until you’ve tried it.

Aquarius : This is another lovely week where you should learn to think first and then act. Unfortunately for you, the vagaries of the planets’ influences are more inclined to push you to extreme actions and then think about what you did. This is not a good scenario. I realize that “it’s easier to beg forgiveness than ask for permission” but I still suggest that you think about whatever it is that you’re about to do this week before you do it. Turn it over in your brain. Consider the options. Consider the ramifications of your actions. Consider the fall out if you should decide to drop a bomb. Just who will get hurt? Looks like some of the collateral damage might just be your fine Aquarius self, and that’s not a way to handle this week. It might turn out to be a good week to go to the race track, but I’m not sure you want to be a jockey on that horse. Win, place or show? If you can, this is a good week to observe, not a good week to take action.

Pisces : I’m going to get a call this week, from a Pisces, and she’s going to ask me why I didn’t warn her about the week. The call will go something like this, “What am I going to do? I’ve got 1,000 minutes a month on this cell phone, and here it is, only two weeks into the month, and I’m almost out of time, they don’t have any other plans (click, buzz).” My personal solution is a portable land line phone, one of those things which looks like a cell phone, and it can operate while I’m at the pool. It works in the boat, too, but I get a little out of range in some spots. But it is a lot cheaper than a cell phone. So consider it an option. This way you can look like the real thing, and it even works like the real thing. This is a time when you want to stay in touch, you want to be available, but you might want to consider just how you’re going to stay in touch.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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