Fishing Guide to the Stars
By Kramer Wetzel
(c) 2007-2008 Kramer Wetzel for astrofish.net
For the seven days starting: 11.13.2008
"Winter tames a man, woman, and beast."
Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew [IV.i.10]
Scorpio: Birthdays and plain, simple relief.
Scorpio bullet points.
Simple, declarative statements.
Nothing fancy.
No highlighted text.
No special fonts.
No excessive display of art.
Minimalist. "Brevity is the soul of wit," Polonius once admonished his son (Hamlet Act II +/-). Then Polonius continued to talk until the Queen herself told him to shut up and get to the point.
While I would tend to think of you as the Queen, a regal person in charge, given the influences? I’m afraid that you have much to say, all of it valuable advice, and like Shakespeare’s Polonius, all that good advice buried in a heap of words.
Which gets back to my original Scorpio suggestion, "Eschew obfuscation." Keep it short and simple.
Sagittarius: "Look," a girlfriend was addressing me, "not everything at your ‘dollar store’ is good." She was trying to figure out how to light one of those long lighters, usually a fireplace or BBQ grill lighter. Got one on a shopping excursion with me. I don’t think I got anything on that trip, and explaining how the lighter worked was kind of a chore. Some of the cheap places in life are merely places to sample what the local color is, a place to understand and observe the lower common denominator.
So that lighter was cheap, and it was also plagued with a safety problem, it was too safe. I could get it to work, but that’s me. I’m a guy. Takes two hands, one on the safety catch, one on the switch. But it works, after a fashion. Still Scorpio time, and Venus has passed us up, so we’re stuck with two things: other peoples’ ire, and two-handed operations. While the lighter was designed to work with just one hand? Practically, and it was cheap, it takes two. Doesn’t mean the girl was any less irritated, and that’s just the way it goes. Probably not a good time to point out I didn’t buy one of the lighters — I knew better. Don’t want any Mars-action. Not yet. Although, Mars does arrive this week, too.
Capricorn: Buddy of mine had a change in his life. He quit smoking cigarettes, quit drinking liquor (and beer), and he quit looking at (sexually explicit photography) on the Inter-web. After a 6 weeks like this, he went to see his doctor again, and the quack said my buddy hadn’t effectively reduced his blood pressure, and, according to the tests, my buddy shouldn’t even be alive, he was standing with one virtual foot in his own real grave.
Lifestyle changes don’t always happen overnight, and that’s the problem. There’s a lifestyle change, like the doctor ordered for my friend? There’s a lifestyle change like that headed towards Capricorn.
Now, let me make a real suggestion, look at the list, the three things that need to be changed. Pick one. You can give up the liquor this week, but hang onto the other vices. Or give up the cigarettes, but keep on drinking hard liquor, or give up the liquor and cigarettes, but keep the websites happy. Something. Pick one, not all three. And, for that matter? This isn’t really a week to give it up, but let’s think about tackling one out of the three problem areas.
Aquarius: You’re going to get clarity this week, but at what price?
The illusion is getting ripped asunder. The convenient little lie that you’ve been operating under? To some folks this would appear to be self-deception, and to others? Mere denial. Or, to me and my Aquarius friends? It was, at the time, palpable and plausible deniability. As Mars shifts signs, it’s a portent. Mars rolls on over into Sagittarius, and that portends good for Aquarius. Problem being, that one illusion, perhaps this could even be a mass illusion, that we’ve all suffered under?
That one friendly, warm, acceptable un-reality, that’s getting ripped apart. Shredded. Torn up. Disposed. With proper philosophical training, a decent understanding of quantum mechanics, or just a loose following of my writing, you’ll understand that this might not be a bad step. Let go of that illusion, the deception, the last piece of denial that you’ve been holding onto. Let go, or, it might get rather rudely ripped from your grasp.
Pisces: I get the weirdest relief from surmounting stairs. In Austin, it was the "pedestrian bridge" or the sidewalks high atop the Interstate Bridge. In San Antonio these days, more and more, it’s just the stairs that run up and down to the Riverwalk. What happens, as I climb up these stairs, in either place, I can feel the backs of my legs stretching, and that’s a good feeling, the muscles, tight from miles of flat walking, the step up, it’s like a stretching exercise. Pleasant sensation.
I suppose I should stretch more before I work out, but that’s probably not going to happen. I was thinking about how good it felt, stretching on the stairs as I climbed up from the banks of the river, and I thought about Pisces. There’s one, last, final hurdle to climb up and over. One goal, one destination, a single problem, just a simple challenge, it’s just a single obstacle. And then, like me, as I feel the backs of my legs stretch in and groan in relief, I wonder, like for Pisces, too, is this really a problem we’re climbing over?
Aries: I got a friend of mine, he’s an old man. Elderly gentleman. Whatever you would like to call him, although, I know, he prefers, "crotchety old man." No, seriously, that’s how he likes to be typified these days. He drives like a little old man, too. Slow. In the fast lane, Holding up traffic. As is his right, by golly. And for once, I’m standing with him, but in part, I know that he really did serve in a war, and I know that he’s tried to help make this country a great country by doing his civil best. And these days, if he chooses to drive in the fast lane, barely going the speed limit? That’s his choice, and I figure he’s earned that right.
He won’t be driving much longer, and that’s another point to consider. There’s a long incline, west of town, on the freeway. He, we (really), was motoring along at a relatively good clip, for him, at about 60 MPH. The speed limit is at least 70, might be 80, and the default fast lane speed is nothing short of 80 or 90. So what he was doing was endangering himself. However, he’s earned his right. Go around. Watch out for him. My Aries friend, you, too, have earned your right to go slow in the fast lane. You can if you want. However, just as a suggestion, maybe try and move with the flow of traffic, and if that’s too quick for your tastes? Move over to the right-hand side?
Taurus: I was in a certain brand of coffee shop the other afternoon. You know the place, and I deign to mention the name since it goes against my sentiments. I prefer the little, independent, non-aligned coffee shops. But in a pinch, when I’m in a foreign place, when I can’t find a local spot, I can always trust that chain. Dependably bad, but still, they can make a proper cup of coffee.
However, it’s getting close to the holiday season, and I just don’t think it’s right for certain fall holiday flavors to be available just yet. Egg Nog Latte should not appear until after T-Day. Which is really what this was all about, for Taurus. It’s about over-anticipating holiday events. It’s one thing to be prepared, it’s completely uncalled for to be rolling out all the Xmas stuff before Thanksgiving.
Now, like me and my moaning about holiday flavors of coffee, there’s an upcoming holiday problem that your Taurus self is worried about. Worry, panic, mayhem and confusion. All sets in. And this is long before the holiday ever arrives. All worked up over something you don’t, you can’t, over an issue that has yet to materialize.
Instead of fruitlessly spinning your wheels, like me and my complaints about Xmas flavors before T-day? See how silly I look? Think about how you’re wasting good Taurus energy, worrying about a problem that might not even be a problem. Well, except, in my example, I’m sure you’ll agree that the flavors have to wait until, at the very least, it cools off some.
Gemini: Mars is going to slip into Sagittarius in the coming few days. This will not go smoothly for Gemini. While it won’t go smoothly, I didn’t say that it wasn’t any good for my favorite (mutable) Air Sign. Mars is energy, action, and there’s a day of reckoning coming along. The only problem with that, after I looked back at what I wrote, I realized that about every day is a day of reckoning for a Gemini. Sometimes, every moment is like that. It’s a big deal, whatever it is that is in front of the Gemini at this moment.
One method of dealing with Mars, as he pokes along in Sagittarius, the simplest expression of that Martian force? He’s going to activate you. Your Gemini self will be even more Gemini. Is this good or bad? I tend to see the good, and that means your mind will be racing, probably more laps than ever before. Mars is also about physical activity. If there was a way to think and work out at the same time? That will help.
We all get inspiration in different places. The thought of treadmill in a gym is abhorrent to me, all that walking and not getting anywhere? But I’ve got a Gemini friend, and he’ll be at the gym, watching a favorite soap on TV, listening to an iPod, and reading the Wall Street Journal. That’s just the way he rolls, and I’m sure he’ll call, afterwards, with a great idea to run past me. Working out, Gemini style. It will help the Mars thing.
Cancer: We can make this easy or we can make this difficult, all depends. All depends on you, my little Crab-Moon-child friend. All depends on you. Imagine that you’re on the observation deck of one of those huge, urban towers. The Space Needle in Seattle, the Stratosphere in Las Vegas, the Tower of the Americas in San Antonio, just imagine, I’m sure there are others, one in your neighborhood, even.
On the deck, there’s a set of monolithic proportioned binoculars. Consider, costs a quarter, usually, consider looking through the view finder, then the big binoculars themselves, and see what you can see. In the distance, what looks like far away is really close. Now, the way this works, as Mars swings into Sagittarius, and getting ready for some other astrologically measured movements, imagine that you swing those big binoculars around, so the focus of the viewfinder is on you. Cancer. Front and center, under a kind of cosmic microscope. Binoculars, of the cosmic variety. Or something like that.
Leo: I wouldn’t want to pass judgement, especially not a Leo, but one of you has her (his) head in a very uncomfortable position. All I can suggest is that Plexiglas, installed in the navel, like, just cut a hole where your navel is? And then fill it in with a little circular piece of hard, clear plastic? Makes it a lot easier to see where you’re supposed to be going. But this applies to only one Leo in particular.
If that doesn’t fit? Then the rest of this is gentle, good, and not worrisome at all. The Moon is shifting around from full to last quarter, means there’s a certain tension in day-to-day dealings. But that won’t really affect you too much, other than interpersonal communications with the "lesser 11" (non-Leo). And Mr. Mars slides into Sagittarius, again, good for Leo. So, this, basically, it’s all good, unless, of course, you’re that one Leo who refuses to see what is really going on. Plexiglas might help that one.
Virgo: Fish aside, I really don’t have much of a shoe fetish. I’m pretty simple, in that matter, it’s either cowboy boots (handmade in Texas) or variations on theme, sport sandals (handmade in Texas). The fish reference is to Pisces, and that sign is associated with feet. "Astrofish.net" is where that thought comes from, and it’s only loosely connected to this.
I was thinking about those boots, see, it’s time to send my boots off to get resoled. My problem is that the process, I prefer to have the factory do it, the whole process means I’ll be without my favorite pair of boots for the next 6 or 8 weeks. Can take even longer, sort of depends. I’ve learned to not send the boots off when Mercury is retrograde, as it took 12 weeks that time, but it was my own fault.
Why is this an issue? It’s been a little chilly at night. Cold weather is in the offing, maybe. Maybe not. But if I send my boots out to be worked on? I’ll probably be wearing my nice sandals while it’s freezing and raining. Just the way it goes. It’s not comfortable. Saturn is all about cosmic timing. And with Saturn where he is? I’d think twice about sending the boots out to be worked on, might put a cramp in your normally good Virgo style. The way I see it? I can wear boots when it’s warm out, although it’s a tad uncomfortable. But I can’t really comfortably wear sandals when it’s cold out.
Libra: I ran into a Libra friend, when I was out, walking around in the afternoon, I was close to the big shopping center downtown? And this one Libra, it was like she’d been busted by me, or something. "Oh, Hi! Kramer! Hi!" Then she tried to walk in a way that hid the big bags she was toting; she was trying to pretend that she didn’t have anything with her.
I’m not that bright, but I could detect, I think, there was the faintest hint of blush under the makeup. As in the her skin was reddening, ever so slightly. I’m not sure what the issue was. I don’t recall any pledge of "non-commercial holiday" or similar statement. Nothing that I recalled. Wasn’t a store where anyone would buy anything for me, again, not an issue. I didn’t even have a horse in the race, so I don’t know why the apparent guilt.
If you’re covering something up? Maybe don’t do it in the first place? Just an idea for the week.
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copyright (c) 2007, 2008 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net
