Fishing Guide to the Stars for the week starting: 8.26.2010

“He us white-livered and red faced; by the means whereof a’ faces it out, but fights not.”
Shakespeare’s Henry V [III.ii.29]

(A young soldier — about Bardolph.)

Complete with scientifically engineered binaural beat technology, this short musical meditation is a few minutes of relief from Mercury Retrograde mayhem. Download the sublime suggestions here – in handy, portable mp3 format. Free.

Virgo: The way I heard it? “The difference between the rich and the poor? The rich hire hands to do the dirty work whereas the poor use their own hands to do the dirty work.” Might have that wrong, but I think it was a feminist author. I’d like to point out, contrary to what popular myth might suggest, I do all my own work. That much should be self-evident.

Two clues? Punctuation and spelling. There’s something to be said for handling all your own work, too. Less people to blame, true, but there’s also the satisfaction of handling all the problems by ourselves. “Satisfaction?” Sure. We handle it. Done by our own hands. No one to blame but ourselves.

Mercury is ferociously retrograde in Virgo. Heinously. There is no substitute to doing it all yourself. Ourselves. One last final check, one last look over, one last time? No one but ourselves. Can’t trust anyone else with our work. Whatever it is, the assistant, the editor, the support people? We have to handle the details ourselves. No one but our Virgo selves has a vested interest in the outcome. Doesn’t matter to them, matters to us. We’re like those poor people, in the definition, we do it ourselves. With Mercury like this, though, it’s a better way.

Libra: Sign, in a local restaurant: Place all orders to go at the front counter. Makes sense, I’m sure, especially since the place tends to be a busy lunch stop for uniformed people. Downtown hotel workers, cops, even, two or there times a week, fire trucks.

I’m not that fond of the place as I knew a better spot that’s cheaper, just a little south of there. Looks a little rougher on the outside, which might be part of the reason for being less popular. However, this isn’t about popularity or quality, it’s about an obvious point. The sign, “Place all to go orders at the front counter.

Which should be obvious. Am I right, no? The problem being, I guess, people wander in during the height of the lunch hour and demand a to go order. Waitress, she doesn’t get tipped for that. Not always, and she’ll make more off a four-top. So that makes sense. There’s a girl at the counter, anyway, so it makes sense that the order should be done there. Cash register transaction.

I’m at a loss to explain the reason for the sign, when I’m being rational. These aren’t rational times. That’s the problem. No easy solution. I’d suggest you think about a sign for Libra. A symbolic little post it note. A small desk-top variation of the sign with removable letters. Something to get your point across. Folks are going to be coming up to you with weird questions, answers, and orders. How to deal with the stuff that doesn’t make sense? Point to the bumper sticker and explain that the offenders need to follow the posted instructions.

Scorpio: There’s one big box store, a warehouse place, where I’ve been known to shop. Some grocery items are just cheaper and easier when buying by the pallet. One particular store I got to like because there was a local bakery and there was always this one woman, attractive, middle-aged lady with the “earth-muffin” vibe. The “big-hip, hairy-leg, tree-hugger” thing going on. She was nice. The bakery would have selections of their breads out. The pumpkin bread was very close to a cake in consistency.

That one demo sales girl? She was friendly, even nice to me. “Here, have another piece, oh you have to try this the raisin bread…” Or the caramel apple bread, again a slice of that was more like cake to me. Free, too.

Never, ever turn down a chance to pee or free food.

Got so I’d frequent that one store, just to catch her and the free bread samples. I was in another store, another time, and the same bakery had samples out. The attending sales demo girl, she wasn’t nice. She let me pick one flavor, then handed it to me on a napkin, and then? She covered up the rest of the samples.

Tight-fisted, mean woman. (Ex-wife joke here.) Part of this is about expectations. Like, I was expecting her to be nice, friendly, succumb to my obvious charm and wit, and I was planning for free food. Didn’t happen. My expectations were dashed. The other part of this, though, is about counting on something free. Kindness of strangers is good, but we have to be prepared.

No free lunch this week.

Sagittarius: The wee-early summer mornings have a certain delicious kind of flavor. Dawn is still right around six in the AM here. First light is a little earlier. Out in the pre-dawn light, it’s a fisherman’s favorite time.

There’s a special feeling, a sense that all is right in the world. The local lakes, most of them are reservoirs, and as such, levels are low, and the water is tepid, at best. Still, there’s a sense right then, before anyone else is out, a sense that there’s still beauty and the day has hope. By even as early as nine? Summer’s heat is still on us and oppressive as hell. The wind doesn’t stir much and there’s the inherent lake-area humidity, only it’s a little more sticky and listless. Just remember that it felt almost cool in the pre-dawn twilight. Recall how comfortable it was, then.

There is a time when the magic is still there. For me? For Sagittarius? I’d put that right before the sun peeks over the horizon in the morning. Times vary from person to person, you might like it better a little later in the day. Adjust as need be for your personal tastes.

Capricorn: There is the shining moment, maybe an arc across the night’s sky like a shooting star? Then it’s gone. What to do?

As a good Capricorn, you’re not inclined to jump on the first shooting star. You’re not inclined to heed a moment’s notice. You tend to be more studied, more deliberate and less likely to jump on the first “thing.”

My suggestion? Throw caution to the wind.

You see that brilliant arc in the night’s sky? Jump. Grab. Wish. Act without thinking and analyzing. Here’s the problem: you’re probably going to do it wrong. It will probably not go well. But if you pause, stop, consider, reconsider, plot and plug away, you’re still not going to harness that single, brilliant flash. Use what little resources you have and take a stab at it.

The odds are one in ten that you succeed if you take that first opportunity without thinking it through. The odds are one in a hundred if you pause, stop, and think about it. In the end? You’re going to do it anyway, so go ahead, take it when it first pops up. Over.

Aquarius: Yard art fascinates me. There’s a kind of folk-art feeling to some of the better yard art. In some cases, too, the art isn’t intended as “yard art,” just works out that way. There’s one kind that I’m loathe to see, though, that’s the ubiquitous backside of a his and her “farmer,” looks like they’re rooting in the garden together. Not particularly attractive. Not good yard art, not part of the question.

What I came across was a giant, maybe not “giant,” but an oversized fork. Planted in the front yard? Tines up? Is the symbolism any more clear? It’s a fork in the road. Where you’re at. Which way is best for you?

That I can help with, but I’m a little suspect, I’d suggest to the left, but because I suggested to the left, you might go to the right, but then, because I knew that you might go the opposite way from what I suggested?

Maybe I meant for you to go right so I suggested left. Then, too, knowing this about me, you might be anticipating that I’d suggest one way because you might go the other. Stop analyzing this. Pick. You might take the wrong fork, but at least you made a decision.

Pisces: Name read, ‘Mary Lou’s Cocina Mexicana,” and to me? Just doesn’t work. Does work, but not in the way I think it was intended. Sure, where I live there’s a huge Mexican/Latin/Hispanic influence. Before it was annexed by the United States of America, it was part of Mexico (under a despotic ruler), but that’s a whole other question.

The “latin” influence isn’t unusual. The name, though, suggests that there might be a small amount of adopted style. “Mary Lou.” while a good Southern name, it doesn’t exactly evoke the correct familial lineage. I’m just saying, if it was named differently, I’d be more inclined to try it. Something a little more “Mexican” sounding would endear.

It’s like an Italian place with a German name. In restaurant lore, there is the tradition, which states, if a place is successful, the don’t change the name. Only problem with Mary Lou’s? New place. Catfish or fried chicken. Sure. This isn’t really about naming conventions, though, it’s about labels. Correct labels and mis-labeled products. Naming conventions are important. As Uranus backs into your sign for a brief, shining moment? Think about making sure it’s the right name Right label, anyway.

Aries: I’d like to think, as an author, that I’m productive, even when I procrastinate. That’s not always how this works. I can spend hours poking around on the web, looking at sites, and I can pretend that this action qualifies as research. It doesn’t.

I can suggest that time spent leafing through a magazine, or hours spent sorting through a Sunday paper, that’s arguably research. It’s not.

Pointless procrastination is merely putting off what I don’t want to do. Some task, some errand, some unsavory job that requires my attention so I’ll do some research, instead.

What this amounts to you’ve been busted, at work, doing something you ought not be doing. Probably a website, like one of mine, and probably not approved. Probably got you in trouble. Or it will, soon enough.

The line, “I’m productive even when I procrastinate?” Doesn’t really work. Not now. Especially not now. At least, like me, pretend to be working. Mars/Venus/Saturn? Opposite you? Don’t get caught. Better yet, stick to the job.

Taurus: Brainstorming is an effective use of time. Start with the most outlandish ideas and let the good ones percolate up from there. Eventually, you’ll get some excellent material out of this.

Buddy of mine was shooting (photography) at a big event. He used up both his little memory chips. Got home, started to download on the chips, and it turned out that the chip was bad. Or something. I’m not sure, details, like the focus, were a little fuzzy. Somewhere between photo and photographer, camera and (digital) film, there was a problem. It prompted him to dig back through his other images, all on file.

Two chips back, or maybe it was three memory sticks ago, he found some material that he’d shot — and forgotten about. Never “developed” the pictures. If the new chip hadn’t gone bad he wouldn’t have looked at the older stuff, which, in turn, had some salable material on it. All backwards, and yet, like I suggested, it is a good time to brainstorm.

However, have to be careful, no “blame storming.”

Gemini: A friend of mine, client, followed my Lunar Advice and applied to Law School. Got in. That’s the good news. “Or the bad news,” she said. It’s an opening. Just means a few more years of school, then a few years as a drone then, maybe, the big bucks. Maybe, maybe not. Depends on how well that client follows through on the advice.

I was wondering, though, the long term stuff, and Mercury backwards at the beginning of the school year — how does that affect law school? Two year school, only, not unlike my own checkered college careers, it might take longer than anticipated. Might take another year, instead of the usual two. It is two years, isn’t it? I don’t really know.

At least one of my degrees is honorary. Cost $20 on the inter-web. Worth every penny, but for a different reason than you think.

Stop, this isn’t about my pieces of paper, nor, really, is it about Law School. It is about big undertakings that might take longer than you anticipate. Even in your best Gemini mind, did you allow for other people to drag their collective feet, other problems to pop up, and occasional equipment failures to cause delays? It could happen. Or, like my law school applicant, what happens when accepted?

Cancer: Here’s a fun fact, the term “mayday,” as an emergency call? It originated as an international call sign, second to SOS, from the French term, “m’aidez,.” Pronounced Mayday, it translates to English as “Help Me.” With Mercury backwards in Virgo, and with the phase of the Moon completed, I’d worry about you sending out a false “May Day” message.

Do you really need help? Is it an actual emergency? Is this a critical situation that warrants flashing lights, sirens and emergency personnel? If it is an actual emergency? Call 9-1-1. Before you call, though, before you send up a flare, or before you even get out the flare gun?

Stop.

Think.

Is this an actual emergency, or is just an emergency to me? I ran out of coffee. Emergency worthy of a real 911 call? Or is it something I can fix without the distress call? No coffee is a real emergency, but hardly of the caliber that would really require the fire truck. Hyperbole aside, I mean, really.

Leo: I’ve got to stop going to the movie theaters early. Or just on time. They have those stupid trivia questions?

“A ‘walla-walla’ scene is one where the extras mill around in the background, saying, ‘Walla-walla,’ pretending to have a conversation.” Don’t know how true that is, not anymore, since the lip readers I know try to figure out what people are saying. I get hung up with details, too, like guessing the background.

There’s also a need for accurate location material, and that’s one I’m a stickler for. One show was set in Austin, but other than a handful of aerial shots, the scenery wasn’t Austin. No streets, not even a hotel. Nothing other than suggestions and scripts. No real location material. Probably done on a back lot in LA. Easy enough, too.

This is about polite fiction and background noise. You can be a stickler like me, and doing so makes you seems, like me, petty and slightly anal retentive. Or, instead of reading the lips of the people in the background? Instead scouring the background of the scene for local clues? Just look at the big picture. There’s some background noise. Don’t pay attention to Mercury’s rumblings and ramblings. Walla-walla.