Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 3.15.2012

“Kings are earth’s gods; in vice their law’s their will;
And if Jove stray, who dares say Jove doth ill?”
Shakespeare’s Pericles, Prince of Tyre [I.i.98-9]

The anecdote to Mercury in apparent Retrograde motion? astrofish.net/mrx.

Available now: the astrofish.net/marsminute/
Pisces: Happy birthday to one, lost Pisces. I tend to believe that Pisces, as a rule, are kind of immune to the excited machinations of Mercury Retrograde. I like to believe that the usual Mercury warnings, dire threats and related mayhem, I’d like to think it avoids most Pisces. Just as this horoscope rolls over — live on the inter-webs, just as we get started, Retrograde Mercury lines up with forward-moving Uranus. Last quarter moon phase, means a whole lot of people don’t understand that the retrograde nature of Mercury isn’t supposed to have an impact on the Life of Pisces. Failing at this understanding, with cascading results, the poor, should be a happy birthday, Pisces is put upon. Yet again. Here’s what to do, besides the usual Mercury is Retrograde stuff, avoid all those other people. Simple. In strictest terms, this is a problem that effects 83% of the population. Just stick to the other 17% and it will be a good week.

Available now: the Mars Minute.

Aries: Texas is the second largest state in the country, and certainly the largest with usable land area (unless you like frozen wastelands). Coast, mountains, big cities, small towns, and there are still barren areas. I don’t mean barren as in, devoid of life, I mean barren as in, there is no electronic leash that works in the area. The wireless phone coverage I subscribe to, there’s a portion of Texas that isn’t covered. San Angelo, Del Rio, and tiny stretch of the highway between Austin and Dallas. Strange, in this day and age, but there are still holes in the coverage from one carrier. Personally, it doesn’t bother me. I find it a little odd, but not terribly so.

On the (Texas) Gulf Coast, one of the fishing towns I prefer, the way it worked there, I could get reception on the fishing dock, just not in the motel itself. Considering that my phone number, this one I’ve had for two decades now, considering that, it is like a lifeline. So there are places where the lifeline doesn’t function. Just means you roll to voicemail, and it just means I don’t get the message until I step out on the dock, or travel to someplace with coverage again. Not an issue. Only, sure as can be, I’ll be in the of the places where the phone line doesn’t work, and an impatient Aries will call, and there will be nothing. That Aries will call back three times because, “This is an (astrological) EMERGENCY!” Chill. Breath. I’ll be back online in a matter of minutes, and we can talk about it, then. For right now? Maybe enjoy the idea that the electronic leash doesn’t always work.

Taurus: I’ve always enjoyed movies at the Alamo Drathouse. Part of the ‘programming’ is old ads. Dated, vintage ads. Like cigarette commercials, old Braniff Airline Ads, or nuclear fallout PSA’s. Or, this one time, there was black and white clip, kind of grainy, about what to do in case of emergency, proceed to the nearest exit. But don’t run, as this theatre, it can be emptied in less than three minutes at maximum capacity. Got a chuckle from the sparse crowd. In case of emergency, don’t panic. In real emergencies, panic does kill more than the actual emergency. My first thought for Taurus was to let you know that you should figure out where the emergency exits were located, but the more I toyed with your chart, most noticeably Venus, Mars (RX in Virgo), and Jupiter, the more I begin to think this was a time when your inherent Taurus coolness would translate to unflappable. I’d suggest, as that ’emergency issue,’ and I seriously doubt it really qualifies as such, but when it crops up? Unflappable, that’s what you want to be. “Just proceed to the nearest exit; walk; don’t run.”

Gemini: I was shopping online and the pictures on one website showed “software engineers” monitoring a website. Server, really. The model had a clipboard and hardhat. The clipboard was to check something on a piece of paper, and the hardhat? Made him look like — I don’t know. I don’t get it. None, and I repeat, none of the software engineers I know wear hardhats. One does, but it’s gag. Works in a cubicle, like any other software engineer. Funny, to me. One tech does load servers and blades and routers, and so forth, into the racks. But still. No hardhat. This is an example of marketing where the hype doesn’t add up. Don’t misunderstand me, I’ve known at least two or three software engineers who should have hardhats, one is particularly stubborn and hardheaded, but that’s not what the issue is. At first glance, that guy in hardhat implied a message. It missed me. I’m sure, since the ad is still running, that worked on some people. Would it work on you, Gemini? What does a hardhat have to do with a secure, locked roomful of server hardware? Does the ad imply something? Or, do you just blindly click on the first thing?

Cancer: The sign reads, “All Clothes half off on Wednesday!” It’s a charity resale shop, near downtown. From my casual observation as a pedestrian who frequents the neighborhood, that Wednesday sale seems to work. Grammatically, maybe not so much. The folk who tend to discount and bargain basement shop aren’t necessarily the ones to nit-pick with the grammar gods. Over time, I’ve gotten used to the crowds, the real pickers, and I’ve tried shopping there, myself. Nothing for me. I’ve looked but the best floral print shirts, the brand of jeans I wear, even the boots, all the good stuff is long gone. As Cancer, Moon-Child, you’ve accumulated some material that needs to be released. Time to let it go. Time to let it wander off to the charity resale shop. Time to do something, anything, let it go. There’s a whole other way to read the stars, though, the other point I was thinking, all clothing, half off? Everyone, now, take off your shirts! Or pants! Right, all clothing half off. Time to think about, set up, and clear away something that has been constraining your Cancer self.

Leo: Strange times, indeed, huh, my special Leo friend? I was surf fishing, not long ago. Weather was balmy, tide was just starting to go out in the middle of the afternoon, and what I would do, this obviously along the Texas Gulf Coast, I’d wade out until the breakers were up to my waist, then cast out. I had a pyramid lead sinker, then about 18 inches of lighter leader. I kept catching undersized speckled trout. Texas Game laws say the sea-trout has to be at least 15 inches, nose to tail. I caught, like, almost a half dozen of the smaller ones. Terrific fighters — for their size. They’d grab the bait and the rod-tip would flutter, and then even the little ones would struggle to get out of the surf. It’s fun, but part of the goal is to catch something that would be worth keeping, like about twice that size, not 14 inches, more like 28. I would laugh, it was fun, but kind of disappointing that I couldn’t get anything larger. Half empty, half full, Leo? How is your glass? I figure, that one afternoon, I caught at least three, near record size trout, just, well, it was more like six, and if they were stacked end to end…. It’s all how you look at it.

Virgo: I stopped and asked. Virgo friend, I asked her whether it was better to beg forgiveness, or ask permission. As a Virgo, she responded in a slightly typical manner, “Oh, if it was me? I always ask permission.” She rolled her pretty brown eyes. Right. With Mars and so forth cooking along, you have to ask your Virgo self the same question. The ‘proper’ Virgo will respond with the same answer.

Ever thought about the other side, the dark side Virgo? Ask permission before doing something? Not happening. Try the ‘evil twin’ version, go ahead and do it, even though you know they, whoever ‘they’ are, even though you know they would say no? Go ahead. Doesn’t always work this way, but sometimes, it’s better to beg forgiveness, after the fact, than ask permission. Another Virgo had a confusing answer, “It’s better to beg permission.” Don’t think that one understood the question. Or maybe it was a Mercury Retrograde answer.

Libra: I used to trot out the “Beware of the Ides of March” quote, but I’ve done it too often to even be amusing as a recurring gag. Even for me. With what’s happening, you know, sky-wise, Aries-wise, and with deferential respect to Libra, the critical point is less about what to be wary of and more along the lines of a reminder. Simple reminder, really, not one that needs much introduction, but with the persistent Mercury Retrograde material, there’s an added layer of Libra frustration and friction, and the easiest way to ease this is to recall that what goes around, does, indeed, come around again. Be mean now? It will bite you on the backside in mere weeks. Don’t be mean. That’s part of the reminder. The other part is sort of two-pronged, firm but polite. You do have to stand your Libra ground, there is a principle involved. Be nice, at the very least, polite. Firm, maybe, resolute in the back of your mind, but smile. In my old commonplace collection, it defines diplomacy as the ability to say ‘nice doggie’ until you get a bigger stick.

Scorpio: I can type, on a good day, maybe thirty or forty words a minute. That’s a good day, when the stars are aligned. The Scorpio stars are not aligned. I prefer typing to speaking as there’s a distillation process. I get to the real heart of what I’m attempting to convey instead of just spouting random thoughts. I got started on this diversion because I was going to brag about my public speaking and presentation skills. I have those skills because I’ve done it often enough. Not because I’m good at it, and if I had a choice, I’d hide behind a computer’s screen and keyboard. Good Scorpio’s will certainly understand that extra layer of protection.

The challenge this week brings is finding yourself in front. In front of the class, in front of the boardroom, in front of an impromptu gathering of souls who want to hear what you have to say. I’m not a Scorpio, I don’t have to have a plan of action, a detailed outline to follow. I’ve taught workshops and classes for so long, I don’t need the details. I can work from a rough picture or no sketch at all. Much as we would all like to hide behind the keyboard and computer monitor? This isn’t the week for it. As a Scorpio, you’ll be thrust into the center. Center of attention, center of the stage, into the limelight. Be prepared as possible. An army of facts at your command is the best tool. While it doesn’t bother me to play the fool? It does bother Scorpio. Prepare to wing it, a little.

Sagittarius: I was listening to some “techno” music I recently acquired. Not new stuff at all. The packaging, such as there is, suggested it was from a set in 2002, and that makes this vintage techno. I stumbled into this material from a variety of routes, first, I asked a guy in a record store, well, they didn’t sell records, but it was a CD store. From that, I got a more recent CD of these artists. Then, from that collection, that “album,” I found a title that I used, several times.

It’s a train song. From techno to country in a single step. That train song showed up in heavy rotation within my own world, so I backtracked the artists’ names, and stumbled on that 2002 release. Which, oddly enough, stands up well over time. Mercury is still a little backwards, as is Mars.

M & M, backwards, just yet. There should be inspiration in my serendipitous music search and rescue. I’m pretty sure the techno (industrial) crowd doesn’t even understand the term vintage, unless it has some more modern markings. I like simple, and I like easy. Circuitous routes are best for our Sagittarius selves, as of this week. We’ll get there, just not directly.

Capricorn: Challenge one Capricorn “given.” For a moment, pause, think about this, just for a minute, won’t take long, as long as the M & M planets are in apparent retrograde motion, consider a challenge. I’m thinking, this came up, anyway, I was thinking about a single, long-held belief that might, or might not, be true. Instead of taking part in a revolution, instead of trying to tear the walls of the establishment down, instead of a total annihilation of the facts, stories and suppositions, instead of outright civil unrest, instead of violence, all I’m suggesting is single, easy, challenge. Could very well be internal. Example? When it is light out, use a light (or bright) color fishing lure. When it is dark, overcast and cloudy or muddy? Dark baits are preferred. One of my favorite fishing images, really, there are two of these, one was morning, one was evening, I’ve got a bass by the lip, and the bait is clearly a light-color worm. In the dark. Challenge one Capricorn pre-conceived notion. One “given.” Doesn’t mean it won’t stand up but do question it.

In other words, “Question authority.” I’m an expert; I know.

Aquarius: I worked alongside this one Aquarius. Woman, actually, a strong, bright, vibrant Aquarius woman. Very feminine but in a refined way. In the corporate world, she’d been a real ball-buster. The inherent perception was megalomaniac. Hardly true, but that was what was written on bathroom walls, and whispered outside of boardrooms. As an astrologer, and patient observer of humanity, I have a much different vantage point.

I’ve never been on her bad side, either. Don’t think I want to, either. Her approach is, as far as I could ascertain, is circumspect. She doesn’t jump right in, and she gives room for plenty of error and conditionals. “We could do that.” My favorite, “I can easily see how that can happen.” No commitment, which is the secret. Definite maybe. Not very Aquarius-like, but then, adopting a neutral, non-judgmental tone? Goes much further than just telling the stupid jerk, “No!”