Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 4.4.2013

“Society is no comfort
To one not sociable.”

Shakespeare’s Cymberline [IV.ii.16-7]

Coming soon, live:

Bare Foot Astrology see listing for details.

That same brand of insanity that you’ve come to know and love, served up each week. Now, back to you, for your sign —

Aries: There’s an increasing frenzy, even now, right? Look, it’s Mars, Venus, Uranus, birthdays, and more! I was working with one fishing guide, and he kept motoring all over the bay, “Try this place, good for fishing.” Then, after about 15 minutes, not a nibble, “Let’s go someplace else I know,” and off we motored.

Spent more time motoring around than fishing. As an Aries, I’d suggest, you would like to fish with this guy, because there’s a constant state of motion. As a fisherman, though, I don’t want to fish with this guy as it’s more traveling all around and less fishing. As a motorboat ride, sure, that was cool. However, the Inter-coastal Waterway, while I find it quite scenic, I’m not sure that was the destination. As an Aries, thought I’d forget your birthday, didn’t you, as an Aries, too much time spent motoring around, it’s like watching a kitten chase its tail, not getting anywhere. Sure, my fishing buddy was amused. Me? I just wanted to fish. But I’m not an Aries.

Taurus: Anticipation.

Really.

There are great changes on the horizon, that’s the Taurus horizon. There is nothing going on right now. Plenty is happening, just none of it is really about Taurus. The best way to use this week’s energy? Don’t get worked up when a perceived issue pops up. Very simple. It will pass. The biggest trouble, really, is worry. Non-specified, unanchored worry. Bereft of a suitable attachment, nothing to hold it down, no bones upon which to hang the flesh of the worry, yet its there. Persistent. That persistent worry? Here’s another point: you can do NOTHING about it, not now. The easiest conclusion? Realize it’s there, but your Taurus self will be doing nothing to attack the worry, not now.

Gemini: I get a little unglued from reality. Not a big issue, as I’m aware that this happens, from time to time. Not a big deal. I’ll think, believe, sense, that I heard, saw, read something. I thought I got an e-mail from a Gemini business associate. I looked through the virtual stacks and stacks of email, even searched for the name, and nothing turned up. Maybe it was an imaginary e-mail, or maybe it was a note that had yet to be sent. I dug around and forgot about it. A day later, I got the exact same e-mail, the one I thought I had received and lost, the day before, now, a day later. That’s the part where I’m unglued. Premonition? Foresight? Psychically gifted? Crazy? Could be any combination of those conditions. Could also be a technical glitch. Still, like me, moving faster than the world around us is moving, Gemini is going to get a little more unglued from reality. Bad news? Hardly. Realize this: you’re moving faster than anyone else, maybe on a parallel plain, but faster. Understand that things — like that message you got — happens three times faster to Gemini, unlike the rest of us slow, poorer 11 signs. Might have to send that message twice to get it across.

Cancer: I was riding shotgun with a friend, as she rolled through a Texas Stop Sign, California Style. As an aside, the way I understand it, in Texas, rules of the road, if you’re on, say, a motorcycle, you have to put your foot down to support yourself. Anything less, isn’t a full stop. My Cancer friend, yes, we got stopped. Cop was polite, and my Cancer friend, without overtly trying, did display some cleavage. Cop asked if the stop sign was red enough. My friend driving? She suggested she thought it was a little too pink, not really red, but she would take the ticket.

Four planets in Aries, right now. That’s the stop sign, the cop or the rules. “Pink, but I’ll take the ticket, sir,” that’s my tutelage. Sagittarius influence. “Be nice and don’t try to flirt — too much.” And don’t make any stupid donut jokes! She got off with a warning. You’re going to try to rush something. You will be foiled. The less you argue? The sooner we can get back underway. Four planets in Aries. Full stop means full stop. Just as another hint: don’t argue with the cops. You may win, but you’ll still lose.

The (mighty) Leo: I was cruising along, I had a cup of coffee in one hand, I’d had on earbuds, listening to some musical background noise while I navigated towards the most recent place I’ve lived. I noticed tourists, like, there are a lot of them, but this was a kindly older couple. Techno pulsed in my earbuds, but as we crossed the street, they had that typical lost look. I popped an earbud out and asked if they needed help. I was able to direct them to a local tourist destination, make a food recommendation, then asked from whence they came. Canada.

It was a typically warm Texas afternoon. Not hot, by any stretch of my imagination, might’ve even needed a sweater. My poor little Canadian tourists were sweltering and sweating in the afternoon sun. Clouds, it was a cloudy day. “Glad to be out of the sun!” They invited me in for a drink, but I had miles to go and a horoscope to write. This is about perceptions. They were sweating, almost to the point of heat frustration while I was still cool, almost cold. All depends. I see this as a really excellent time for the mighty Leo to put one piece of the puzzle, together. Put one ball in play. Pop a quarter in the jukebox. One action. It’s all about perceptions.

Virgo: “Look,” I picked up an item that was for sale in tourist spot, “this is a good deal, $1.50 each, or here, even better, 3 for $5.” I kept a straight face. My date at the time looked, and started to pick up three of the items. “I only need one,” she said, “but I can’t pass up a deal.”

This is a situation, it’s easy to tell that my date wasn’t Virgo, but do the math. 3 items at $1.50 each, even with state tax? That’s less than $5. I’ve often wondered who comes up with this stuff, like that “3 for $5” deal, or if it as just tag line swiped from somebody else’s promotion. I’ll never know. I carefully suggested that one was plenty and probably didn’t need all three. I left it at that. Don’t make the other person feel dumb for falling for a simple trick with placards. The sign for Virgo? It’s an “M” with a little cross at the bottom. Think about that cross, a curly-cue that means to “check the math on this one.” I’m not sure it’s math, it could be another message, but check it, first, before you just think more is better.

Libra: I started to order some material online. Not an uncommon task, the nuts and bolts of more boring business stuff. I hit the order form, the thing I had to type in my name and address into, and I had to create a password, and profile thing, and I quit. Complexity creep got to me. I can be notoriously short-tempered, especially with certain website details. I’ve been at this since before there was a web down-home page.

Complexity creep drives me nuts.

As a Libra, it will drive you nuts, too. Sometimes, I’ll take the time to fill in all the details, and other times, I don’t want express shipping and one-click shopping. With that pile of planets in Aries, there’s a similar feeling in Libra. If it’s is not quick and easy? Don’t do it. Don’t fall for complexity creep. Don’t get lured into the little game where you put in a credit card number, and all the details, like your name and date of birth, with the promise that life will be easier. Quick, fast, easy. Keep it simple — and straightforward — this next few days. Like me, if the form is too long? Close the window.

Scorpio: There are are two or three standard named plates that I’ll order for breakfast. Migas, Machacado or Chilequiles. The names are the pretty much the same across a strata of restaurants, from fancy to barely legal. Not quite out of the back of a truck, but close. Typically, there will be two versions, the regular and then, one with the added title, “A LA MEXICANA.”

I finally asked what that meant, although, I already knew, I just wanted an answer. “Ala Mexicana means ‘with all the good stuff,’ like onions, peppers, tomatoes.” The spice that makes the difference. The stuff that adds flavor. The waitress who thusly informed me, she said it with a hint of both irony, sarcasm and a tiny leer of superiority, looking down on me and my date. It was funny. Order the “extra spicy,” wherever you are.

Sagittarius: I remember watching a colleague get visibly agitated when another astrologer glanced at my colleague’s chart, made a quick pronouncement and moved on.

“One glance, all he did, you believe that?”

My colleague was quite chafed. It wasn’t a sleight, though. It was thoughtful consideration and a glancing read. In the intervening years, I’ve grown accustomed to just such a procedure myself. I can glance at a chart, pick out a pertinent detail, make a comment on the most pronounced item in the image, then move on to other topics.

Seen years after the event, I was guilty of the same kind of glancing diagnostic. While such action doesn’t replace seasoned, reasoned, and studied considerations, in the heat of the moment, that’s all it takes. As a Sagittarius? We’re probably going to offend someone in the next few days. You know what’s worse? We’re probably right. Hint: don’t rub it in, and maybe pretend to take longer to arrive at the conclusion.

Capricorn: I was fishing with a buddy, and I was conveniently located in the back of the boat, giving him the bow and the best shot at the shoreline. We were fishing up against some rock, drifting and casting. I let him have the best location in the boat. I caught a fish. I caught another, I caught a third and fourth. He had nothing. I switched ends of the boat, and I was fishing in the bow, and he was in the back. Two more for me.

My buddy? Nothing. It’s not a race. It’s not a competition. It’s not a big deal, not to me. I switched so he could have some fun. Luck just wasn’t with him that morning. It did change, later in the day. But for the first part of that morning? It looked like my buddy was getting skunked. As a Capricorn, you’re going to be feeling like my fishing buddy. It’s really a function of the host of planets in Aries, that makes you want something that seems to evade your grasp. Keep casting, keep the bait in the water, keep trying. You’ll catch up, I promise.

Aquarius: Imagine 14 pounds of fish on 10-pound test line. It can be done. It’s a challenge, but it can be done. It’s fun, but it’s also hard work. One of the most important components when playing a fish like that, on that light line? Have the drag (brake) set on the fishing reel, have that drag set correctly. Enough drag to horse the fish into the boat, but not so much as to break the fishing line. When the fish turns and takes off on a run, the line just strips off of the reel, and the fish make a giant surge for freedom.

Only to be reeled back in (we hope). Setting the drag is a ticklish affair, too. Before I even toss out bait, I check the drag. It’s a guess, but I’m good enough I can make a safe assumption as to what’s right. In this situation, with the planets where they are? It’s better to have to the drag set a little loose instead of a little too tight. Need some give in the Aquarius system.

Pisces: I bought a piece of software that promised to whiten my teeth, cure my dandruff, and give me remote access to all the files on all my computers, no matter where I was on the planet. Presumably, off-planet, too, if I had a decent inter-web connections. Didn’t work. Didn’t work as advertised, didn’t work in any of my thorough testing, and barely worked at what it was supposed to do, in part, because I fiddled with it long enough to make it work, albeit, it was slower and much less productive than I had hoped.

I put it aside. It came back up, the other afternoon with an automatic update, and I feel like such a sucker now, I wasted another couple of hours, trying to get it to do whatever it was supposed to do. No luck. Did not work, will not work (for me) and it’s a waste of my time. Here’s my Pisces suggestion: if it doesn’t work? Don’t force it.

Drop it.

Stop it.

Walk away. Put the mouse down, and don’t expend unnecessary energy trying to make it work. The planets are stacked against us on this one.