Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 7.25.2013

    “The sullen passage of thy weary steps
    Esteem as foil wherein thou art to set
    The precious jewel of thy home return.”
    Shakespeare’s The Tragedy of King Richard the Second [I.iii.269-71]

LeoThe (mighty) Leo: No fishing metaphors, not this week. Straight up astrological advice. It’s your birthday, and there’s that one, special Leo, yes, Happy Birthday! The question, questions, have to do with intuition. Mighty Leo Intuition. What’s intuition and what’s just self-will? Leo Self-Will, it’s stronger than regular stuff, you know.

The problem is making a distinction between what you want and what you need. I’ll suggest that this is a good, if not great, birthday time. If. If you listen to the tiny, kitten-like voice inside the majestic Leo brain-case, if you listen to what the Leo intuition says. Not self-will, not, “I want,” but, “I would like.” Simple distinction and the one path leads to happiness and fulfillment, the intuition. Your intuition is heightened. Use it. It will lead you to bliss.

Virgo: I’ve always harbored an attraction for girls (females) with Venus in Virgo. I like them. There’s a special kind of attraction I sense. While nominally, Virgo is the vestal virgin, I’ve tended to find that even more appealing, in a sacred way.

Perhaps the appeal is the demure, sexy reluctance. Perhaps the appeal is, “That which we cannot get.”

The forbidden fruit always tastes better, doesn’t it? Here’s the weekly problem, in Virgo — you want something you can’t have (right now). Are you willing to chase the chaste, as I’ve often done? Venus is in your sign now. What you do with that, pursue the uncatchable? Wouldn’t be the first person to do this, you know.

Libra: Depends on which elements you identify with the most. The water signs are good, this week. Means the one side of the Libra emotional scales can be sweet and relaxed. The passion, mostly fire and dirt, that’s not so good. That’s fraught with tension and upset. People not working together in harmony. Against the Libra wishes. If I were more Libra, I’d align with the water stuff. I like easy, graceful, flowing. I’m none of those things, well, I’ve been categorized as easy, but never mind that now, the points I’m talking about are learning to embrace the easy, graceful, flowing, and let the rest of it slip passed you. Much easier that way. I’d identify with those water elements. Has to do with feelings, emotions, that sort of sense.

scorpioScorpio: In Bare Foot Astrology, a lecture (series) I teach, one of the common reference points for Scorpio is the beach. The soft, white sand on one of those idyllic beaches, some place on the cover of a magazine, or even the cover of my book (accompanies the lecture)? The soft, beach sand? All of that used be a big, hard rock, maybe granite, or some other similar piece of hardened (rock-hard) structure, geologic feature. Worn down, worn away, the structure was eventually rendered useless by the action of the waves, the effect of (Scorpio) water on the rock. Results? Sand. Soft, pliant sand. The problem is this actions takes aeons and aeons of time. As a Scorpio, right now, you don’t think you’ve got that kind of time. You don’t. You do, but you don’t. So here’s the deal, work on it, slow and patient. Be surprised how far you get with that.

Sagittarius: I have, pretty much, two kinds of shirts I wear for business. One type is a “fishing” shirt with my name and URL stitched on the front panels. The other kind of shirt I wear is a “Hawaiian” shirt. The loud print shirts, I’ve been wearing those for the last few decades, so that’s nothing new. It’s what I do. The official (looking) Fishing Guide to the Stars shirts are more recent. I’ve experimented. In Austin, for example, I do more business when I have on a Hawaiian shirt. Elsewhere? Varies, but one day I’ll wear one, and the next, the other kind of shirt. See what works. See what doesn’t work. Some people prefer that the astrologer look like an official person. Other people are more comfortable with me, when I look like me, in the loud print shirt. As is my style. I was weighing the planets and their locations, and I kept thinking about style. Form. Then? Form follows function. Following that line of thought, the best shirt is “fishing shirt,” with it’s flaps, and velcro pockets and fancy embroidered name stag. They really are quite comfortable, whether for fishing, or sitting in an office and doing readings. Either one works, but as a Sagittarius? Let’s try and err on the side of good sense, just for now.

Capricorn: The traditional recipe for Caesar Salad included anchovies. Personally, I like the little fish. Like them on my salad, like them on my pizza. I enjoy the piquant, salty flavor as it enhances the other elements of the dish. It’s a refined palate choice. There’s a local place, excellent “Italian” cuisine. A Capricorn buddy waits tables there, and he explained that the original recipe called for both anchovies in the salad’s dressing, and as a garnish. Over the years, though, the local (indigenous) population gradually removed that as a choice. First it was offered with or without anchovies, then, finally, last time I was there, the anchovies weren’t visible as an option. The flavor, the dressing still had a reduced amount of the salty fish, but that was it, not as an obvious component. This is how changes are made. First, there’s the way it should be. Second time around, it’s an optional item, and finally, by the third try? All but disappeared. What choice have you been meaning to pull off your Capricorn menu?

aquariusAquarius: The Sun Squares Saturn this week. You’re going to feel like there’s a great, big, huge Bull’s Eye, painted on the back of the Aquarius. What it is? Really? Looks like there’s a little, single, unattended chore (task, item) left over from the last Mercury Retrograde. Back.

“They’re here….”

Looks like it never really went away, but as a good Aquarius, you avoided and ignored the problem. It’s back to haunt you, and it feels like it’s made you a target. Or worse. Here’s the hint: deal with it quickly, efficiently, and as soon as the problem is apparent. Challenge. Issue. Whatever it is. Fix an effective, albeit temporary bandage. You’ll be surprise how long a temporary fix can last, now.

Pisces: In the animal kingdom, all the lord’s little critters learn to make do with adverse situation. I was thinking about a cat that only had three legs. “Tippy” was the name. Managed just fine. However, that’s the animal kingdom. Up here, at the human level, we don’t adjust as well. However, as a Pisces, you do adjust well enough. That ability to adapt to succeed is required. Adapt, modify whatever it is you’re doing so you can get by with less. Between soft and hard aspects in the charts, the point became more and more clear: Pisces? Can you survive without a brain? Maybe just half the brain you’re used to using? The hard aspects will push you to over-think a situation. Doesn’t work well for you.

“Less thinking. More doing.”

Aries: Pisces is the sign at the end of the zodiac. Aries is at the front of the zodiac. You’re probably going to glance at the last line in Pisces, and think something about it.

Here’s the short version for Aries, just the opposite of Pisces — “More thinking. Less doing.”

Very simple words, as you’re caught in a planetary crossfire between Mars (&c.) in Cancer, Uranus in Aries, and Pluto in Capricorn. The operative solution to make your week easier to deal with?

“More thinking. Less doing.”

taurusTaurus: Stop. Get out a piece of paper. Make a list of three things you want to change about your Taurus self. Here, I’ll give you an example. “I don’t like this shirt I’ve got on; I don’t like my hair color; and I don’t like my waistline.” Of those three items, lets break it down further.

1) What can I do about my shirt? Change it.

2) Hair color? Make an appointment with a hair colorist.

3) Waistline? Stop eating. That’s not going to happen, I can exchange the waistline for food, merriment and social interaction, and that’s not changing so I can’t do anything about that.

And really, the hair color? I see no reason to change it. Gray makes me look “distinguished.” That leaves the shirt. I’m going to pull another one out of the closet and I’ll have already fixed one third of things on the list. Make a list, three things. Tackle one. Maybe two, but work on one, first. List, three items to change. In order of fixability.

Gemini: Shakespeare’s “The Tragedy of King Richard the Second” is a problematic history play. It was probably part of the four plays, the first one, that culminates with Henry V (conquered France, I might add.) The history is a little fast and loose with facts. Whether the play was supposed to be the first in the series, or if it was stand-alone piece of art, that’s not known, either.

First shows up in 1597, and the play has a long history of strange performances. Part of this is due to its lyrical nature, and part of it is due to its political intrigues. As a Gemini, this is the kind of layering and research that you excel at. Time to dig around and try to figure out what the real deal is. With Mercury just out of retrograde, though, now’s the time to really dig into to one of the questions. Like the true meaning of the play. Was it stand-alone? Intended to questions the Queen’s authority? Political? Now is the time for Gemini to latch onto one question and dig for some answers. One question.

Hint: looking it up on wikipedia does not constitute research.

Cancer: The short sale, that’s what this is all about. I watched, calculated and toyed with several ideas. The trends in “internet” circles indicated that the hottest ticket was an item that cost less than one dollar. To answer that, I created a pair of products that cost 99 cents each. Tested it. Sold well. No complaints. Not totally original material, but as a road-test, worked well. Pretty minimalist stuff, too. Short video, short document, accurate and timely content, couple of examples, and the products are “Evergreen,” as in, the problem can be addressed over and over. Doesn’t stop being useful. The idea, what a good Cancer person needs right now? You need your own, 99-cent idea, item, product. Maybe something you find at a 99-cent store, but something. Cheap. Okay, let’s just say, “steeply inexpensive,” and it is something you can sell, peddle, deal, or just say, “Look, I got one.”

Think: cheap. You can sell one for $9.99 with a 60% profit, or sell a 100 at $0.99 at 70%. Don’t make me do the math, I already calculated your chart.

Retrograde Venus and Mars Retrograde in a minute.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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