Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 12.5

    “She sung much, but no sense.”
    Shakespeare‘s The Two Noble Kinsmen [IV.i.66]

Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 12.5

Sagittarius HoroscopeSagittarius: “The temp, dropped, what? Like from 70 to 60? That’s a cold front?” It was. Sort of depends, I suppose and part of this about the way we see the world and what our perceptions are. As a birthday month Sagittarius, this is our time, yes? Sort of. We’re going to be faced with a cold front arriving, and when I lived in North Texas, a cold front in the middle of winter meant freezing temperatures. Not that I don’t see those now, but in Deep South Texas, it is different. There was a cold front that blasted through, and it did drop the temperatures down like that. While, I realize, this isn’t much of a cold spell to some folks, here, in my native lands, it can be a major change. As our birthdays unfurl, there’s a change afoot. I figure it is one of those little to some, but a major deal to us. Roll with it. Embrace the change, like, “Hey! Winter! All right!”

Capricorn: Friend of mine has a little “yip-yip” dog. You know the kind, about the size of a small cat? Annoying little bark, jittery, continuously nervous? Acts like a person who’s had too much coffee.

My friend, she will frequently take that dog everywhere. Fairly common scenario, my strange friends and their pets, in tow. So this one, with the little yip-yip dog, annoying little creature, she was headed into the grocery store. Local chain, still just a grocery store, right? She tucked the little dog up under arm and carried it in with her. An employee approached her, and she just said, “Service animal.” While technically, not quite true, if you understand the bond between woman and her little yippy dog? It’s emotionally true, for sure. So this week, the deal with this astrological mix? Tell the truth. She never said her dog was the service animal, she just said, “Service animal.” That one store? They back off in a hurry. When she told me the story, I added my bit, “Just say, ‘Pee Tee Ess Dee.’ too.” No lie, just trying to make life easier for Capricorn.

Aquarius: I was looking at some images of architecture. The search was about furniture, and your Aquarius self might surmise, I’m interested in less, not more. I hit one photography site, and the images, all artful displayed, they all did had a certain perspective, almost like, it was all the same photographer. That poor shooter! He only had one position. Each room was oblong, and shot from an angle at one end, so the far wall, in all the pictures, the wall at the back was centered and three by five.

One place had a bookshelf, one place had a fireplace with a fake fire, one place had a wall that was delightfully bare of anything but a single piece of art. I’ll assume it was art. The joy of scrolling through images on the web? I could quickly, faster than looking at a book, that quick, I could rapidly determine that the images were all from the exact same angle, so that there subject varied, but how that subject was served? Identical across the whole set. Might’ve been by choice. Part of this, with the holiday, “Less is more,” and part of this, stick to the same perspective. It helps across a multitude of subjects.

piscesPisces: One of my fishing buddies is dating a Pisces. This is special, just for her. He’s going to be a stupid-head in the next couple of days. I can’t do anything about this. About that. About what he does. That term, “stupid-head,” it wasn’t my first choice in wording. Wasn’t my second choice for a term, either. My choice in wording, I had to work down a long list, none of which I’d like to use in polite company, it’s just, he’s going to be stupid. Some folks would think this was the effect of the retail-holiday frenzy. Others might ascribe this inherent stupidity due to the fact that my buddy, not a Pisces, and very male, that he’s a “guy.”

Nice try.

In part this is the waning aspect of Pluto/Uranus Square, but there’s also a Venus in Capricorn highlight, and Mars moves into Libra. All of this spells minor boyfriend irritations. For that one Pisces woman, my buddy’s really swell girlfriend. This is a week that calls for forgiveness, and fluid scheduling choices. I can’t promise that your significant other gets smarter, but by the next horoscope? A little forgiveness on your Pisces part goes a long way towards making much of this better.

Aries: The biggest problem with the current crop of “Holiday Cheer?” I don’t need to eat any more crap. I need no more refined, white sugars in my diet. As an Aries, sure, the sugary goodness of holiday fare is fun, but there’s also a problem, the refined, white sugars, the complex carbs, all of that turns immediately to body fat. As I’ve gotten older, the connection between what goes in my mouth and what sticks around my middle? It’s gotten more close. Some of those Xmas cookies mom used to make? Just deadly, now. I can’t eat more than two, or three, or, like an Aries, the whole tray? Eat that whole thing and then, loosen up the waistband on these shorts another notch. Couple of years ago, I carefully read the ingredients on the side of the carton of cheap grocery store Egg Nog. Bad move, like enough calories for three people for at least two days, not to mention fat and carbs. Here’s the deal: some sugar is good. As an Aries, as an “astrofish.net Aries,” even worse, or better, really, but as an astrofish.net Aries? Sugar is a culprit — be of good cheer, but stay the hell away from the cookies and libations.

Taurus: Looking at two of Shakespeare‘s series of plays, Henry IV, pt.1 & pt. 2, and its sequel, Henry V, then looking at Hamlet, and then, to add a third, maybe Much Ado About Nothing, there’s an undercurrent of paternal issues in that author’s work. Modern therapy, and even armchair self-help psychology shows that the core issue is with a “Father” figure. Either overbearing or absent, or over-bearing, then absent, and the child’s reaction to that behavior. Heavy psychology stuff, and I’m surprised no Shakespeare scholar has tackled the “Father Image” in Shakespeare’s collected works. I got off on the “father figure” tangent because this is about a single authority figure in the Taurus life. At this moment, the rest of this week, there’s a strong suggestion that a token gesture of kindness goes a long way towards putting one or more of those demons to rest.

geminiGemini: Part 1: In the days of yore, I had a reputation as the guy who read the book, not the guy who saw the movie. I stood a better chance of having read the book rather than seen the movie. With the advent of streaming video, I had a chance to get caught up with bunch of old movies, typically material that was way out of date.

Part 2: I had an old girlfriend who got me hooked on big, fat novels by a best-selling author. One of his early novels, part of an ongoing series now, was turned into a movie.

Part 3: I watched the old movie, and what I know of that author, this is an isolated case where I haven’t read the book, the movie is a disservice to the author, to the actors, and to everyone except the paycheck I’m sure the rights earned for that author. He’s not a selling out, once the manuscript leaves the author’s “hands,” there are usually limited rights left, but the paycheck is fine. As a Gemini, are you willing to sell out in the high holy holiday season?

Hint: I’d say “Yes,” as (if) the check is big enough.

Cancer: I don’t believe in “luck.” With that blanket statement out of the way, I can point to incidents in my own life where “Lady Luck” obviously had a hand in the outcome. Lucky shot, luck stroke, lucky look, lucky time. But we don’t have luck, we make luck happen. I assemble the right pieces, put myself in the right place at the right time, and it looks like a brilliant stroke of luck. Get it together, assemble all the right pieces and wait and see what happens. There’s always the other, fishing analogy. Can’t catch a fish if you don’t have a line in the water. Hook, bait, fishing pole. Not terribly complicated, not at first. Got to have some bait on the hook and a line in the water. As long as you start to gather the pieces? There’s a good time for you to fish — or whatever requires a stroke of luck? There’s a time fast approaching for Cancer. Lucky time. Get the stuff together to make it happen.

The (mighty) Leo: I updated a client’s website, and I did in a perfunctory manner, as is my wont. I just clicked through the updates, agreed to the heinous End User License Agreement, and waltzed through process. I’ve done this a time or two, and I’m practiced at it. Good at it, according to some. I also know, exactly, which steps to follow, in what order.

The steps, and the correct order, are inclosed with the instructions. The README file. The proper, sequential order. Do 1. Do 2. Then do 3. Don’t do, as I’m inclined, #3, then look back and think, “Shouldn’t I have done the first step?” There’s an order to this. Follow the instructions. Plain, simple. Not complicated. Failure to do so? Ask me about that, one day. I know how to do that update because I’ve knocked my own sites off the web doing it wrong. Go back. Look at the instructions. Do them, in the intended order. Works better.

VirgoVirgo: New, weird and exciting, it’s that simple. The problem being, I lived in Austin too long. I watched as “Keep Austin Weird” went from an underground slogan to a Chamber of Commerce tag line. From being counter-culture to being mainstream. So my suggestion of “new, WEIRD, and exciting?” doesn’t leave a lot of room for weird. As I drifted southward, from South Austin, I found that there are parts of Texas that are weirder than Austin; however, in a spirit of peace and tolerance, the “weird” factor doesn’t get much of a notice. “Yeah, you think that’s weird? Ever see his (her) brother (sister, cousin, parent)” etc.?

What’s going to happen as Mars leaves you sign? “Things” settle down for a moment, then it gets really weird because Mars will light up Uranus. It’s up to ten days, maybe two weeks away. Don’t get complacent.

Libra: I spent, two maybe three Xmas holidays in London, UK. There’s something to be said for that experience. These days, I much prefer the warmer South Texas weather, but there’s still a fondness and nostalgia I have for old London Town in the Xmas season. It’s cold, dreary, dark, low-light as the sun doesn’t shine until maybe noon, to about three in the afternoon, and the windswept canyons of town are clotted with tangled Xmas decorations, whipping in the wind as bundled natives and tourists alike scurry from destination to destination. Snowed once or twice, but not much. Just cold. Cold and wet. At least it was a cold wet.* Still, there’s some kind of weird, really looks and feels like Xmas season is supposed to, true verisimilitude. Added to the ambiance. You need, as Libra, one more decoration, one more ornament, one more piece of the puzzle. I don’t have to go to the cold climates to find it, not anymore, I can dredge through my memory, but as a Libra, the one, missing piece? You’ve got, like, three of four days to come up with it.

    *As opposed to a dry heat?

Scorpio: Let the dust settle. Simple expression, but let’s look at that, and what it means to Scorpio, “Let the dust settle.” I spent a portion of my life in the Great American South-West Desert — portions of West Texas, Far West Texas, New Mexico and even some time in Arizona. The “real” west, if you will, and I will. The term comes to mind because out there, it seemed like there was this ultra-fine dust that would settle out overnight, on almost any horizontal surface. One place I was in had dark brown window sills. Every morning, thin layer of dust settled. Every morning, every surface required a quick dust rag to make the place look acceptable. Think: Virgo, squeaky clean. I never really saw the dust in the air, cities like Dallas and Houston have visible air (pollution). But out West? Not always that visible. The deal with the way the planets are stacked? Let the dust settle. In my example, it would happen overnight. As good a guideline as any, “Let the dust settle.”

Enter the contest by leaving a comment.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

Use of this site (you are here) is covered by all the terms as defined in the fineprint, and there might be, maybe, a material connection between the hot links and this site (sometimes).

© 1993 – 2022 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c.

  • rharris Dec 9, 2013 @ 1:01

    Ooh, ooh, a contest!
    God forbit I heed your advice and find any instructions or entry guidelines.
    And maybe I just wanted to say hey, how ya doin’, anyway. Stay warm.

    • Kramer Wetzel Dec 9, 2013 @ 10:26

      You may already be a winner! Check your e-mail!

      • rharris Dec 10, 2013 @ 22:53


  • Wendy Dec 10, 2013 @ 0:39

    Is it too late to leave a comment and enter the contest??? If not here’s my comment…your posts have been ‘right’ on these last couple of weeks for us Sags. Well at least for this Sag.
    Can’t wait for the next installment! LOL

  • jose quinones Dec 11, 2013 @ 17:07

    I read my horrorscope and kept pondering on what you meant with finding the missing piece now that all the pieces are coming together. In an unfortunate turn of events I said something condescending to that bright Gemini and she brought it up to my attention but never gave me the slightest chance to explain myself. I’m just a poor Libra, sometimes I might sounds like an arrogant bastard, but those are not my intentions…after reading the Gemini horroscope, it made sense. Was she willing to sell out for that paycheck? The one I was offering? She was thinking about it…

    • Kramer Wetzel Dec 12, 2013 @ 15:39

      Why we just adore Gemini, they’re always thinking.