Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 9.25

    “More strange than true. I never may believe
    These antic fables, nor these fairy toys.
    Lovers and madmen have such seething brains,
    Such shaping fantasies, that apprehend
    More than cool reason ever comprehends.”
    Theseus in Shakespeare’s A Midsummer’s Night’s Eve [V.i.2-6]

Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 9.25

LibraLibra: A local luminary was scheduled to give a talk. The title was better than the workshop. The workshop’s name, that suggested this was a long and interesting look into thematic elements in astrology, mythology and psychology, with continuing education credits. Not that I need any CEUs, but it was nice to know. Instead, the lecture, for that’s all it was, it was two-hour “dog and pony show” for that one guy’s books. His life’s work, just a pitch. I paid to go to a sales session. It’s not a total loss, as I learned how to put together just such a pitch, now. I got nothing out of the content, but I derived a great deal from the way the material was packaged. That’s part of the message. Part of this week’s “birthday” lesson for Libra, too. Pay attention, as it might not be the meat of the message that you’re looking for, it could be the bones that the meat hangs upon. Either way, you win.

Scorpio: I looked at Mars, in your Solar Second House (Sagittarius), I looked at other planets, too. But Mr. Mars, in the Scorpio second house? It’s like the house of second guessing, at this moment. There’s another influence, as well, but I’d not mention it. Still, this is about second guessing yourself. The caution, herein?

With Mr. Mars, like he is, hey I am Sagittarius, he warms me up a lot worse than you, with Mr. Mars, like this? What I said I was going to do, and what I did, my heart’s in the correct place, but what I said I was going to do? Organize and throw-out a pile of trash. What I did, instead? Organize and then, get a pile of stuff I wanted to carry to the landfill, but I didn’t go yet. There’s that little voice of Scorpio caution. Lest you think this looks like a hoarder of epic proportions, it’s about stacking up all the stuff you think you want to get rid of, stacking it all in corner or something, and waiting.

Sagittarius: One of my frequent admonishments is to learn to listen. Listen to the voices around us, listen to the every day rhythm of the speech and patterns. Coming towards me, the other morning, on the street, two heavy-set Latin women. “Listen,” is what I suggest. Hard to gauge age, but one seemed a little older, and she was nattering, nagging, it seemed, in what I assume is the border patois, a variation of accented Spanish. The other, maybe a daughter or younger sister, was answering in almost accent-less English. Two people in conversation, two languages and both understood perfectly well, it seemed. I think they were switching it up just to annoy each other. That’s an educated, street-wise guess based on location, narration, and some understanding of the language and possible family dynamics. Listen. Watch. With Mars upon our Sagittarius selves, we are best served not arguing, not complaining but being quiet and observant. Some days, even amused, play it right, and just watch.

Capricorn: On the highway, I was behind a typical Texas pick-up, raised, dusty, with a single sticker in the back window: ‘aTm.’ My mind, the way it works, I’m from Austin, so I only know of one University in Texas. The University (of Texas at Austin). I puzzled over the lettering, it was a maroon color, and I finally snapped, after a few moments of consternation. “Texas A&M,” the Aggies, at one time, the other side of one the world’s greatest football rivalries, UT and A&M.

Both university systems have branched out, but this sticker was referring to the original location for A&M, College Station. All of that, discerned from trying to figure out what the letters stood for on the back of a truck. In my first shorthand note, I just wrote, “ATM.” Completely different meaning, nothing to do with colleges, universities, football, or anything but cash being withdrawn. Given that Mars in Sagittarius, there’s an obvious clue, and like me, you’re going to need a little time to figure out. Might want to keep your mouth shut, too, while you figure out the obvious symbolism.

Aquarius: While it’s not a wholly original thought on my part, I’d call this the “Doctor’s Office Syndrome,” or “DOS,” for short. With the Doctor’s Office Syndrome, if I’m feeling sickly and I go to see the doctor, I’m unable to replicate the symptoms. I would have a fever at home, and feel ill, and by the time I got the doctor’s office, I’d be OK.

Devil’s advocate here, as an Aquarius, if I didn’t go the doctor’s office, then I get ill, progressively worse, correct? Looking at your stars, I’d suggest that this is the case, the dreaded “Doctor’s Office Syndrome.” I’ve seen a similar situation where mechanical device (car) will make a noise until it’s in the mechanic’s shop, then no noise.

“I’ll swear, just look at it, it was making the noise! It sounded like ‘thunk-tink-thunk.’” For Aquarius, this can be a haunting scenario until we get to replicate the noise/symptom in front of the mechanic or doctor. Until then, don’t let the fear of “Doctor Office Syndrome” keep you from seeking the professional assistance you might want or need.

Pisces: Relationships are always a focal point in the Pisces world, but now, this year, it seems like it’s a big deal. Right now. Kind of a big deal. Easiest way for me to work with it, I reduce this to a binary situation, either you’re in a relationship, and want out, or you’re out of relationship and want in. The other side always looks more appealing than where you’re currently standing. However, there’s a tertiary influence I’d like you to consider, one that weens your view away from the “Grass is greener over there,” point of seeing stuff. I’d like to suggest, the reason the grass APPEARS greener on the other side? It’s because the poor soul is in the opposite condition from you, and spends too much time watering, caring for the lawn because there is either nagging spouse or lack of spouse, just the opposite from the current Pisces condition. You can sit, waste time longing for your lawn to look like it does on the other side, or we can get some green paint and paint the Pisces side so that it is greener. Up to you. Consider, though, that the other side might not be as good as it looks. “Of course my neighbor’s grass is greener — all the dogs stop and pee on it.”

Aries: Ever notice that humor is next to religion in the big-box bookstores? The devout are not amused by this observation, as it comes as some kind of sacrilege. Then, too, the devout usually don’t read my horoscopes so I’m not worried about it. This was just an observation, and while I made it in a small, independent bookstore, after I researched the point, it became apparent that this is a trend. Ground floor, close together, humor and religion. Some spirituality and humor, I can see, and there has to be a humorous take on packing religions next to each other that seem hell-bent on killing each other off, but that’s not what this is about. There’s a jarring juxtaposition, in Aries, even now. An unlikely pairing, if you will. Here’s an unlikely role for Aries, for this week: peacemaker. Not like a Colt Peace Maker, but like the go-between that can barter and broker a peace between two offended parties. That’s your job, as an Aries, mend a broken fence.

Taurus: Make a decision. Make a change. Choose one. Pick one, for right now. “What if I choose wrong?” There are no “wrong” decisions, just some answers are better than others. Given that Mars is in your Solar 7th, Jupiter in Leo squares you, and Saturn opposes you? I’d suggest you’re going to choose incorrectly, the first time. Does it matter? Not really. Choose. Make a decision. Make a change. Go for it. Might not be right, but if you don’t try then there will be no way to know if it was right — or not. Make a decision. Choose. Change. Just one, you know which one it is, just one. Choose. Change. Decide. Pick. Now.

Here’s a hint: if you guess wrong? It’s OK, we’ll get a “do-over” before too long. Promise. As long as you pick one. Doesn’t matter, just friggin’ choose.

Gemini: Vacillate. Equivocate. Appear unsure.

Consider yourself adrift, with no permanent anchor.

Don’t commit.

There are a number of scenarios where you’ll find you think that you should make a decision and commit to one thing or another. My heart-felt Gemini advice? You know I love you unconditionally, right? Take the middle. Straddle the line, answer, “It’s kind of a gray area.” In other words, “Don’t commit.” Not right now. Maybe a few days, check back.

Cancer: When I’m preparing food, I tend to sample as I go along. I’ve gotten to the point where I prefer some Serrano peppers to other nightshades as flavor. The Serrano peppers are wildly uneven in heat index. Just the other morning, while I was scrambling some breakfast eggs, I diced three of the little peppers. I sampled it one, mild, flavor was good, and that means, as I sliced the tip off another one, I popped that tidbit in my mouth and chomped down. It was a hot one. I kept munching on that tiny pepper’s tip, and the heat began to pervade my tongue. Fire. Water, quick. I slammed a bottle of ice-cold water, then a second one, as I was starting to perspire. Wildly uneven in texture, good, what I was looking for, but two peppers, apparently from the same harvest, same field same batch, same time, one was a tasty morsel and the other was almost too hot.

The (mighty) Leo: It’s time for the triple update. This isn’t like a normal update, where we just hit the “update” button once. This is a special, Leo-centric update, where we’re all going to hit the Leo Update Button, at least three times. This is like coordinating all my little tech toys (er, tools) together, the updates on the phone, the tablet, the portable computer and the desktop, making sure everything works together. Hit the update. Hit again. Push that “update now” button a third time, just to make sure that it went through and the developer hasn’t pushed out another update since the last time you checked, maybe ten minutes ago. To an outside observer, it looks slightly compulsive, maybe even too much OCD on the part of the Leo player in this role. However, you and I both know, you’re the best, right mighty Leo? As such, there’s a point where we all have to triple check. So yes, it may look like you’re overdoing it. I think you’re being thorough. Triple-check.

Virgo: Planning, preparation, precision. Three Ps to insure success. Every Virgo wants success. I want every Virgo to be successful. In order to be the success? Planning, preparation, then precision. I’m thinking this is a week for the three Ps, in that order, Planning, then the prep work, and finally, doing the job, the task, whatever it is that we were planning? Doing it with precision. Might even want to practice some.

When I lived on the lake, I used to “practice” my fishing techniques. My neighbors, the old trailer park, they all thought I was just fishing, but what I was really doing? Honing techniques and building muscle memory. Put a fishing pole in my hand and watch as I can whip it around to get the lure in the correct spot. Took years of practical practice. So success, Virgo success, is dependent you’re execution of the three Ps. Planning, practice. Precision. They all go together, this week, plan it, then try it out, and then do it, but try it out, first. Make sure you get it perfect. Wait, is that a fourth P?

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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