Horoscopes starting 12.8.2016

    If my tongue cannot entreat you to acquit me, will you command me to use my legs? And yet that were but light payment, to dance out of your debt. But a good conscience will make any possible satisfaction, and so would I. All the gentlewomen here have forgiven me; if the gentlemen will not, then the gentlemen do not agree with the gentlewomen, which was never seen in such an assembly.
    Rumor in Shakespeare’s Henry IV, part 2 (epilogue)

Horoscopes starting 12.8.2016



The Archer

Little bit of useless theatre history and trivia, “If my tongue cannot entreat you to acquit me, will you command me to use my legs?” From that epilogue? Most Shakespeare-era plays ended with the actors all cavorting on stage, doing a dance of some kind. “The jig is up?” Yes, they would dance a little jig.

Come next Monday, “The jig is up.” The cycles have come full circle. We have arrived. Or, at least, we’re at the “End of the beginning,” to misquote another plucky Brit (Churchill).

Full Moon on Monday, triggers Saturn in Sagittarius, and then? It’s all better. Buck-up, me buckaroo….



The Sea-Goat

As an Austin (Capricorn town) pedestrian, for lo, those many years, I was interested in rain, and rain-proof attire. Towards that end, throwback to motorcycle riding days, the preferred attire was a heavy, English, waxed-canvas jacket. Or really, a rain-suit. The heavy waxed canvas, the waxed, heavy tarpaulin material, allegedly Egyptian cotton duck, was both warm and pretty good at repelling an English-style rain. Good for an Austin flood. I live in South Texas, now.

We seem to have two kinds of wet weather, torpid, muggy summer heat, and the previously alluded to, “Texas Flood.” Seems to be very little in-between weather. The heavy weather is large, angry drops of water, with rain being as much as an inch or two in half an hour. If I do have to go out in the heavy rain, I dash to the front seat of a truck, we bitch about all the other drivers on the road, then dash to cover at the destination. I spend very little time in rain itself. At best, a light raincoat, or a water-resistant cover of some type, that’s about all I’ll wear, anymore.

No more heavy rain coats, no more floor-length dusters, I’ll even shy away from an umbrella. Wind. Puffs those out like a candle. What serves Capricorn? I don’t need any heavy rain gear anymore because I foresee no opportunity to ever use it. Ever. While I love the idea of finding a heavy, waxed-canvas raincoat, preferably handmade in the UK? Would I ever use it? Maybe once a year. Maybe, maybe not even that often. Ask yourself, is this something, is this an item that will ever see action?



The Water Bearer

“That old ‘karma’ thing, kind of a bitch, no?”

Yes, yes it is, at a times. Other times? Not so much.

This week? Depends on how you deal with it. Mars and Venus are in Aquarius, but at opposite ends of the sign, and there’s a Saturn in Sagittarius punctuation point that marks this with a hint, a suggestion, a subtle reminder that there’s some kind of cosmic retribution at work, too.

“I ran into my ex. He’s gained a ton of weight, looks like crap, and no longer works. I’m not even sure he’s got a fixed residence, now.”

Yes, that old ‘karma’ thing, it’s rough, some times. I won’t promise how this unfolds, but I’ll bet you can sing it correctly.



The Fishes

Pay attention to details. Very simple, pay attention to details. Lots of silly holiday crap is floating around and there’s — absolutely — no need for that involve your Pisces self. Selves. All the disparate parts of the Pisces psyche? No need to get it involved.

Determine what is yours, and then? If you pause and examine it closely, the rest of that crap? It belongs to other people.

Not yours. It’s the holiday season that does this, plus Saturn in Sagittarius, thank-you-very-much, but letting yourself get caught up? That’s your mistake. Just because I think this is an issue? Does that make it your issue, too?



The Ram

Charge ahead and blindly stagger forward.

Sure, it is the Aries Way to get it done, right?

Might not be the best way, but as an operative solution for the immediate future?

Sure, just blindly charge into the fray.



The Bull

Pot is now legal in a few more states. Personally, I think it ought to be legal everywhere — I can’t use it — I have a tenuous grasp on reality as it is, but I feel it ought to be legal. Just makes good sense to me. In Austin, at the rock shop, someone brought in “Homemade brownies.”

Looked good, smelled delicious. It’s Austin. That town has a liberal-leaning, educated, “weird” reputation. Probably while I always feel so at home there.

However, owing to my own background, the question of brownies with a certain kind of herbal flavor? That worries me. With the current winter settings, the sun sets in Austin long before I leave the shop.

The fresh-baked aroma of the brownies made my mouth water. It’s Austin. Long drive that launches out of Austin’s legendary traffic? Probably best if I didn’t sample the brownies.

“Oh, dude, no, they’re not, like, you know, ‘magic’ brownies.” Wink.

Taurus: You have a choice. Looks a little suspicious? Might take a pass, just this week.



The Twins

“Lather-Rinse-Repeat.” The term comes up with one of my circle of friends. It refers to hair care product, now that I think about it, it’s from an ad that predates me.

Ah. The golden age of advertising when outlandish claims didn’t need to be backed by facts.

However the terms, “Lather-Rinse-Repeat,” has both merit and a nice catch to it. Full Moon in Gemini. Big fun. The term, as my friends tend to use it? It means to replicate successful steps.

For Gemini, this week? The parts that work?


Really, quite simple, don’t think about it. Just…




Moon Child

I’m not a fan of inclement weather, in any way, shape or form. Looks like rain? I’ll stay in. Being self-employed, like I am? I’ve got plenty of rainy-day projects to keep me busy. I’m not worried about that. Do you have any “rainy day” projects? I’m not saying it’s going to rain, that’s not the message, it’s about having back-up, non-urgent, non-mission-critical piece of work that might be used to keep your Moon Child’s mind off the pressures of the day.

One client knits. Looks scary to me, knotting yarn together, same thing, over and over, weaving a fabric from a cat’s play toy. Still, for some, that’s the perfect example. I tend to have digital housekeeping to look after, again it varies from individual chart to individual chart as to how this works out best, but we all have some rainy-day projects.

This is the perfect time, holiday madness and all? Perfect time for such endeavors. Busy work to keep you from thinking too much about how to make this holiday season work out.

The Leo:

The Leo

The Lion

Holiday season, and more than one buddy has a favorite charity. I got hit up by one friend, and it was a hard sell approach. “Did I tell you about next year’s Golf Fund Raiser?”

Here’s how this works: I’ll pay good money so I don’t have to be attached to the golf fund-raiser for the charity.

Never mind, yes, it’s a good cause, but no, I can’t do that. I don’t golf. Little late to learn now.

(Yes, I know I can learn now, but I’m of a mind that this is a sport, like deer hunting, that I’m really not interested in participation. Not opposed, just really not interested.)



The Virgin

Certain winter mornings are like this; it is winter in the northern hemisphere. Certain mornings, I make a small pot of coffee, lately, it’s been pour-over. That’s usually it for the day, as I don’t want to over-consume too much jitter juice. I have, at best a tenuous grip on reality; there’s no reason to loosen that grip. Too much coffee can do that; although, on certain days, like this week in Virgo?

A second pot of coffee is called for. Maybe not coffee, maybe it’s something else. Who knows? Varies from individual to individual, but that doesn’t matter much. Not what this is about; this is about that second pot of go-juice, for me. What I can normally accomplish in the duration of one pot of coffee? I’ll get a few winter days when it takes two pots of coffee to get it done.

That’s the energy, this week for Virgo. Usually, one works fine. Might take two. Still, there’s a buoyant expectancy that goes with this, just, it’s that Full Moon sets up an uncomfortable tension, and my suggestion? Brew that second pot of coffee, or that second cup of tea, or, you really want to have some fun? I’l have teabag, in a cup and I’ll just add cold water and nuke a second time. Watch the aficionados just twirl when they see that.



The Scales

I commuted to Austin from San Antonio, for a number of years. I always allowed at least two hours for the trip. It rarely takes that long, however, times being what they are, I can’t trust traffic, humans, cops, road construction, road obstruction, or the department of transportation to comply with my wishes for safe and expeditious travel. Last week, holiday hilarity is in full swing, I made it, door-to-door in less than hour.

“There’s a disturbance in the force. Something’s wrong, this isn’t right,” and then I shut up.

There’s nothing wrong. It’s holiday time. It’s — whatever it is — there’s something that makes it so we don’t have to worry about one aspect of modern life. When this happens, graciously accept the gift. The Full Moon, the motion of the love planet (Mars and Venus), and the rest of the tunes of the times? Graciously accept the little bits as they show up.



The Scorpion

There’s an energy that I’ve long since learn to address, and it’s very present in Scorpio. This is the Xmas, holiday, consumer-driven push for new, better, more expensive, cooler, more effective (thing). Thing can be anything, it’s not limited to a single idea or product, more along the lines of, “If I just had (thing), then my life would be complete, and I would be totally fulfilled.”

Not happening, in the next few days, sorry my Scorpio friend, sorry. However, there’s a break, or culprit, upon which to pin this yearning, a sense of lack. Mars. Mars and Venus in Aquarius, those two planets create a sense that “It’s not enough,” and I’m unsure of what the antecedent that the “it” refers to. There’s entire industries built around massaging and exploiting your sense of inadequacies.

No Scorpio is inadequate, but those two planets are going to exacerbate that sense, and leaves Scorpio feeling underwhelmed.

Realize that this is fleeting, and realize that the culprit lies outside of the Scorpio psyche, it’s just the times taking a toll. You’re allowed to feel it if you want, but in my experience, no Scorpio is ever not enough.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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