Horoscopes starting 11.9.2017

Kings are earth’s gods; in vice their law’s their will;
And if Jove stray, who dares say Jove doth ill?

Pericles in Shakespeare’s
Pericles, Prince of Tyre (1.1.103-4)

Horoscopes starting 11.9.2017




One author I liked, one of his first novels was so tightly plotted, he described what it was like. He had a giant flow chart, pieces of paper taped together, stretching around his office, where he would write, and those lines had intricate details where “this” tied to “that,” which then echoed back to a sub-plot in the first chapter, “there.” Extremely complex and tightly woven. In subsequent novels, although there is evidence of such work, it’s not nearly as difficult. The author himself has suggested he doesn’t outline like that, not anymore. Too much work for too little reward.

As a Scorpio, this week unfolds with a myriad of allusions to previous events, then, there’s some foreshadowing for next week, and then, too, there’s that resolution to a small problem in the Scorpio sub-plot, leftover from the second chapter. Got all that?

You can endlessly complicate this, or you can just plow ahead. Personally looking at motion and relative motion? I’d suggest you just plow ahead. For the parts that you did outline? Yes, stick to the outlined plans. But for most of this? Ah, heck, just wing it like I do.

Follow plans that are in place, but you can make up stuff to fill in the parts you didn’t plan.




Madness. As a Sagittarius, I don’t flirt with madness. I take out, buy it dinner, take it home with me. See where this is going? Madness is our friend. What it says to me, light whispers in the night. As long as the Sun is in Scorpio, there’s a weirdness quotient in Sagittarius. Don’t avoid that weirdness. Take it out. Buy it dinner. See if that weirdness wants to come over to our place for a little nightcap — with all the implications thereof.

Sagittarius: We don’t flirt with madness. We are going to clearly step over that line and make insinuations. There will be no doubt that we’re more than just flirting with the insanity.

Every morning, when I wake, I get to make a choice, even before my feet hit the floor. I get to decide what kind of a day I will have. Good one? Bad one? Flirt with madness? Or embrace the unstable insanity and enjoy it?

Sagittarius: every morning. It’s a choice.



The Sea Goat

I am not graceful. Never claimed to be. I take that back, as a much younger man, I might have suffered under the illusion that I was graceful, but we all now know this to be totally untrue. I’m good with that! Got it? None of this, “Oh but you are graceful in your own way” new age, self-help (male bovine excrement). I’m using me as the perfect example for Capricorn, as this week unfolds, there’s a delicate dance required. I can describe the dance, I can show you pictures and videos of other people who can dance this dance, but I can’t do it myself. We know that. It’s an established fact. I tend to prefer not to even attempt this except when I’m here in my office with the door closed and no one can see. See? No witnesses.

The graceful dance requires, suggests, the planets suggest, and the idea behind the dance steps suggest a way to clear some space around your Capricorn self. Just get folks to step back for a few paces, give us some room, as we’re about to try an elaborate move. Just want a little bit of space.

“If I can get you to step back about three paces….”

Or, in my case? Might want to move out of the splash zone. But I’m not Capricorn.



The Water Bearer

Think about some kind of a Xmas promotion. Think about some kind of special Xmas thing you can do. As an Aquarius, yeah, a lot of you are not into the whole holiday thing, I get that. I understand. I have a firm belief that Xmas should not be addressed until after my birthday, or, at least not until after Thanksgiving (US holiday).

Until we get to that point of demarcation? No Xmas crap. However, as a forward-thinking Aquarius? Let’s put some thought into an Xmas promotion of some sort. Maybe it’s the Xmas email, perhaps a folky chat with friends and family, perhaps it’s that one gift you would like to get for — a favorite astrologer — or other special person? Doesn’t mean that this is a big Xmas push, but one item, one promotion, one step, maybe just sort it out in the Aquarius head — maybe that’s all that’s required. While this energy varies from individual to individual, the outcome can be universally good. The trick? Think about some of Xmas promotion. Target. Think about an Xmas target.



The Fishes

One of the little realizations I finally got? When a particular situation, a person, an event, when some kind of action — or inaction on my part — makes me uncomfortable? There’s a message buried in my discomfort. Traffic delay causes me to be late. Two possible interpretations, one, I — stupidly — didn’t allow for Austin’s legendary traffic, or two, maybe my lack of hurry is part of the process?

I can blame the traffic for being late, but I can also blame myself for not thinking it all the way through, at first. Which points to the original source of the discomfort. I didn’t allow for (obvious) exigent circumstances. My fault, and I’m the one who is uncomfortable.

So, this doesn’t mean you’re gong to get stuck in traffic, but it does mean that there will a single — or a series — of Pisces discomforts. Look at the underlying cause for consternation before you pound on the steering wheel.



The Ram

There are a couple of ways I have of measuring what’s going on in the world. In particular, I have what I consider the “Spam Index.” Depends on how much material I get as unsolicited commercial email, usually filtered and tossed before I ever see it? If a particular company is hitting me with tons of SPAM, I tend to see that as a desperate attempt to sell — i.e., times are tough. Competition, the ever-changing face of the marketplace, the way material wends its lazy way to my doorstep, all of that.

Aries: the almost arbitrary “spam index” is as useful of a measure as anything else. The way it works, the “spam index” as I use it? It reeks of “desperate.” Think about that. You’re not desperate. Don’t act desperate by bombarding us with messages.

Aries: the “spam index” smacks of desperation. You’re far from desperate.



The Bull

There is more than one way to approach this material. As a firm and gentle Taurus, you tend think that there is but one way to approach this situation. One way, no other options. I would suggest, even where Mr. Mars is at the moment? There is more than one way to approach this issue. See it from a different perspective. Ask someone you don’t really like for some assistance. Ask a “friend-enemy” if your own perception about the obstacle and how to surmount that obstacle, ask that totally outside source for a possible solution.

Looking at this from a different perspective yields clues. Better yet, I know when I ask a “friend-enemy” for assistance, I tend to consider the other person’s input as possibly tainted. Doesn’t mean that this won’t lead to a viable solution to that very Taurus problem, now does it?



The Twins

Third time might be a charm. That’s what they tell me, and as I was looking at the Gemini charts for the next few days, third time, I know, that’s, like, about six times too many for a good Gemini like yourself. But give it a third try.

I had a Gemini tech buddy helping me sort out problems with some wiring here. Turns out there was a coax cable that hand a kink in it. Previous contraction is the culprit, nothing to do with me, but trying to find out why there was an intermittent, non-recurring anomaly that paused internet delivery every few hours?

“Kink in the hose,” so to address the issue It was a cable with a tight turn, and when too much data was shoved through the cable, the little electrons slowed down for the tight turn. Not exactly a technical answer, but close enough for Gemini terms, right?

Took three tries for my Gemini buddy to state the problem.

“I know, right?” he said, “that’s like two too many, huh?”


The Crab - the Moonchild

The Crab

Paper booties. Ever seen those? Buddy of mine is an honored Moon Child, and he’s also a decent plumber. Prefers fresh water plumbing, but he can fix many things. When he first showed up here, heavy work footwear, he deftly slipped paper booties over his big boots. Just like that. No mess, no fuss. No mud. No crap from running out to look at the drain plug, the septic tank cover, or whatever. All good.

This week requires some consumable product that works as a prophylactic to protect some aspect of the week. In my case? My example? There was nothing on the concrete floors that my buddy could hurt, but the gesture was nice. I want a house that I can hose out. Just rinse it all out, maybe once a year. No need for any other floor cleaning. Super-easy. Still, his gesture to pull on the booties was nice. Not needed, but for him, it’s second nature.

Simple actions with good results. Simple, easy gesture.

The Leo

The Leo

The Leo

One of my little Leo buddies works construction. He owns his own business, and as an owner/operator, he’s quite good. Shows a tidy profit by rolling in more work and finishing the job, ahead of schedule and under budget. He also looks like a crew member, not the boss. He looks like that because, for this one Leo buddy, doing the work itself is part of the fun. Swinging a hammer, buzzing wood through saws, hollering, painting, lifting and so forth is part of what he likes. He enjoys the manual labor. He likes making things with his own hands. Helps that he is quite accomplished.

My buddy hates the paperwork. The preparing of bills, the accounting, the bookkeeping, all of that? Hates it. He has enough to hire a person to look after this, but as a self-built success, he’s not sure he trusts anyone but himself. Consequently, his billing process suffers.

There are two options: hire out the crap that The Leo doesn’t enjoy, or do it yourself. My buddy, at the end of each work day, he’s been working six and seven days a week, he’s that in-demand, and he sits down, before he washes off the grit and sweat from the fray, and enters some of the receipts and billable hours, materials, in his ledger. It’s how The Leo gets ahead.



The Virgin

I have a long — and tortured — relationship with “Internet Access.” Started with dial-up. Modem. Musical modem that made a certain noise, then, I would have a dedicated phone line, then, eventually there was DSL. One client showed me how fast a cable modem was, back many years ago, and when a salesman caught up with me in my trailer, well, yes, I liked faster internet. Jump ahead many years, and for a brief, maybe a year, I had the best of the worst. I had a basic DSL because the cable TV monopoly (Time Warner RR, etc.) had thoroughly irritated me with their billing process. Feel my pain? As a Virgo, I repeat, “Feel my pain?”

Thanks. So I had to deal with my current service provider, and it was one of those tortured phone calls I was dreading. However, due to the nature of my professional work, I am quite used to recording calls.

All I did was repeat back that little automated disclaimer, “This call may be recorded for quality control purposes.” There is a happy ending to this story, but the way I got to that happy ending was being polite, tactful, and merely offering to repeat back what they said. I also pause, and when the operator asks my name, I say it, then spell it out. “K-R-A-M-E-R, Kramer, no relation to the guy on TV.”

Gets a better response. For Virgo? Any tool towards getting a better response works with this week’s weirdness.

“Works with this week’s weirdness?”



The Scales

One of the most serious challenges I face, on a continuing basis, is the deal I have with Shakespeare quotes.

Bit of back story? The original idea was to introduce each week with a quote or passage that properly captured a moment. I was not above using pop culture references, but after a while, my stash of Shakespeare quotes seemed to serve best. Then, for a while it was fed by little quote collections. However, for more than two decades now, it’s been essentially a single quote each week. A couple of the quotes have been reused, time and again. Then, too, as my scholarship has sharpened, I’ve found more depth to passages.

This comes back to this week’s issue in Libra, the problem with, “What was I thinking?” I will hear or read a passage, in a moment of furtive scholarship, and pop that up as a weekly quote. Then, as I revise the material, I’ll wonder just what it was that I saw in that quote — as reflected in the planets’ motions — for that week’s missive.

My latent lack of focus is a perfect example of what’s happening in Libra at the moment.

“I know that this made sense at the time, but where was I going with it?”

Sound familiar?

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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