Horoscopes starting 1.4.2018

    But this our purpose now is twelve month old,
    And bootless ’tis to tell you we will go;
    Therefore we meet not now.

King in Shakespeare’s Henry IV, part 1 (I.i.28-30)

The new year promises to hold some surprises.

Horoscopes starting 1.4.2018



The Sea Goat

One of the lessons I learned in the last few years? When to toss it. “Let it go,” or whatever the most current expression of that energy is, the time to let Saturn reap its rewards and remove from our Capricorn grasp that which no longer serves us. In short? “When to toss it?”

At one station in my life — I’m not Capricorn — I had an affinity for expensive pens and inks. Gradually, those have all been replaced with more disposable sharpies. The original reason I carried sharpies was to mark on CD blanks that I used as a disposable recording medium. Anymore, I’m just digital. However, I had a brightly colored set of fine-point sharpies that I was using for various projects, and the hot pink color? It ran out first. For a brief moment, I was thinking of holding onto that sharpie, now devoid of ink and hence, useless, I was thinking about holding onto it for sentimental purposes.

The question I started with? “When to toss it?”

Now. Now is a good time. No longer serves a useful function, and it’s not an expensive item to replace.

Now. Now is a good time.



The Water Bearer

What I wanted, now that Xmas is over, big birthday is passed by? What I really wanted was a stone, perhaps a piece of granite, simple enough, with the term, “Not Engraved In Stone” carefully etched in the stone.

A simple enough idea, yet, the execution has left me befuddled. Sure, I live near enough to some “Monument Makers,” so the title goes. I’ve wondered about wandering in and inquiring, but from what I can gather, this is a single image item, one that would be abandoned in the back yard after I moved on. However, the idea, in my mind, lives on. A rock, engraved, “Not engraved in stone,” and the term itself refers to a lack of permanence. Which usually isn’t a problem, in an ordinary way, to Aquarius. However, right now, as we move forward, remember, like my project that never found footing? Your Aquarius goals, destinations, and — think New Year’s resolutions?

“Not engraved in stone.” (Etched into some monument-quality granite, like maybe as a paperweight?)



The Fishes

When I’m at a fishing camp, down the Texas Gulf Coast, I know my buddy supplies the place with a standard Mr. Coffee coffee maker. At home, I have a variety of coffee extraction systems, several press-pot (French Press) affairs, pour-over spouts and filters, my trusty Chemex, and the list goes on. No Mr. Coffee for me! Using that one coffee maker, this tends to be associated with early fishing trips, some coming up this spring, but the early morning call means I have to make some kind of coffee, in that dreaded Mr. Coffee.

There are tricks, I tend to employ. Good beans with a slightly lighter roast than I’m used to using, that helps. Guatemalan beans from the side of a volcano, and I grind them first thing in the morning, then dump the grind into the coffee maker. At such an early hour, I’m not going to use a little hand-held burr-grinder, way too much trouble. But good beans, ground up fresh, and the ubiquitous coffee maker, it works well enough.

I get invited back to fish because I supply good coffee beans.

While it’s not my usual fourth wave coffee making, and it’s not really remotely artisanal, my simple tricks work rather effectively.

Pisces: There’s a simple way to work with this week’s energy, along the lines of “Making do with what’s there.” You see how I do it, right?



Aries The Ram

Just as a thought, for this next week, for the next year, even, with what will be going on? No more bells and whistles. For Aries, what I mean, and I’m not being too blunt, but the simplest answer, the most direct answer, “Just the facts, ma’am,” kind of energy is present.

Strip away at what is required.

Think about heading towards an “industrial” look, where the bare bones of the Aries structure is what is present. The last time I checked, it was no longer fashionable, but at one time, exposed duct work rather than concealed behind false walls and dropped ceilings was all the rage for interior design.

For Aries, for this next week, then, as we march forward into the new year with all its unlimited possibilities? Concentrate on “less.” As I often have to remind myself, “Less is more.”

Aries: Eschew creeping “featurism” — no more bells and whistles.



The Bull

“When you get right down to it, there are only the four F’s,” a Taurus buddy was explaining. I inquired as to what those were, the four basic elements that make up mankind’s existence as we know it now.

“Feeding, fleeing, fighting, and reproducing.” As a highly intelligent Taurus individual, good with communication, and not one to mince words, I was a bit surprised at his comment. The obvious hint at lewdness, yet, somehow omitted. Some days, it’s not what you say, but how you say it. Some days, less is more. And some weeks are like this next week. Which letter is it? As an avowed Taurus fan, I’m in favor of the first two, in that order, “Feeding,” and maybe, if a tense situation presents itself, “fleeing,” but only as required. The other two? Maybe not this week, unless that fits in the Taurus schedule, and you’re planning for it.



The Twins

The term, “Tramp Stamp” refers to a tattoo on the lower back, perhaps visible above a bikini, and it was quite common. Some are well-executed, others, not so much. One woman was showing off an early version, and the story about the tattoo was what was interesting. The image itself, the scroll work was muddled, and the tat was raised. “I got it when I was 16, and the artist knew I was underage, but I had a ‘parental permission’ slip. Hurt like hell.” My buddy who ran a few tattoo shops appraised the art work professionally, then ran a light touch across the tat. “Yeah, the artist was upset and made this one hurt. Did that on purpose.”

This isn’t about ink, tattoos, tattoo parlors, or frustrated artists. This is about permanent choices in Gemini-land. Consequences of actions, choices, you always got choices, and that woman, years later, in a professional setting, the ink never shows, but she carries a permanent mark from what was a childhood-inspired lark.

Worse, from my perspective, it had to hurt. The raised, and now blurry, artwork shows the artist was digging in deeper than need be. Painful reminder.

Gemini: Maybe it’s not a good time for a permanent decision.


The Crab - the Moonchild

The Crab

In times of great change, there’s a tendency to sink into an “Us versus Them” mentality. That kind of narrative, in our own mind, preserves our sense of self and our personal dignity. It is through that indignation that we move forward, but it can be divisive. Cancer, my Moon Children should be about peace and harmony, together.

The weekly challenge — could be a larger issue, but for now? How to avoid sinking into “Us vs. Them.”

There is change underfoot, and times are weird, at best.

This is not a battle. This is not a fight. This is not “Us vs. Them.” As the sensitive Moon Child, you, of all people, should understand that requires an effort towards togetherness, rather than splitting us apart. Or making a struggle into a fight. Or making a small problem into a raging battle. Think: working together towards a goal; it’s much easier.

Think: I’m really a lazy Sagiuttarius, so I want the path that is easiest, too. Just like you. Working together; it’s just much easier.

The Leo

The Leo

The Leo

One enemy of The Leo State is uncertainty. Another enemy of The State of Leo is instability — and neither one makes for a happy Leo. However, there's a certain kind of charm that comes from the unstable and seemingly uncertain nature of things in Leo.

I called it The Leo State rather than just Leo. The other 11 signs? Names for constellations, representing a slice of the sky. The Leo State is about the nature of the magnanimous and gracious Leo, well, usually once things are said, and the challenges from this week’s weirdness?

Learn how to embrace and indulge the uncertain and unstable nature of our existence. Not all bad, not guaranteed to fail, but there is this week gets a great, big “maybe!“ Or, in other terms?

    “I can definitely say, ‘it might — or might not — happen.’ For sure, a definite ‘maybe’ on that.”

There is a time to jump. There is a time to take definitive, pointed action. There is a time to swing and aim for the cheap seats, to misappropriate a sports analogy. This isn’t the time. Now is a time to embrace the uncertainty and instability and realize it will probably change. Or maybe not.



The Virgin

The cacophonous assault on the olfactory senses is almost over, being this is the end of the official holiday season, at least, in most parts of the world. Where I live, there is a sports season rapidly approaching, and I fear, it will soon be perfume season.

    “Here, buy your lover something that smells good.”

Hearts, flowers, fat little cherubic children with wings and bows, arrows tipped with heart-shaped points. Yes, that time. Never too soon to think about it, is it? No sooner is the apple-pumpkin-pie spice pallet retired, no sooner do we stand a chance of recovery when it’s another holiday.

Here, where I live, the arena is about to start preparing for the annual stock show and rodeo. A big deal. Personally, the sawdust smell is invigorating, and refreshing, after the manufactured scents of the previous holiday. However, it is a stock show and rodeo, so there is another scent that accompanies those elements. Maybe getting ready for the next holiday isn’t so bad, after all. Depends on what you like to smell.

Virgo: never too soon to start prepping for our next holiday.



The Scales

Nearly 100% of home accidents occur at home.

There’s bound to be a committee someplace, a commission being formed to learn why this is, and what we can do about this problem, the issue with home accidents that occur at home.

I get stuck on a sideways metaphor and sometime never make it back to the point of the original direction, and that’s what I have to watch for, and for Libra? Mars, where he is, and Jupiter, where he is, and the Sun, where he is? There are two major energies this unleashes, one, is getting easily distracted, and the second? Getting in a hurry to fix something before you walk out the door, which results in a hasty, perhaps pratfall, kind of exit. While occasionally funny on the big screen, hurried mistakes don’t really work well, and with Libra? Really don’t work well.

The way to avoid that? Realize who and what is pushing on you, and then, build in a little extra time. I have one friend, her truck’s clock is always 15 minutes fast, which results in some comedy, but it gets her there on time. Me? I don’t get it. But I’m not Libra, and I’m not the one with the twin influences this week.

Libra: Nearly 100% of home accidents occur at home.




There was a “throw-away” movie on the streaming channel, other night. Much hype, and largely a forgettable film — a great example of “Straight to video” if there ever was one. Don’t ask for a title, I have dismissed that material already from my own brain. However? There was one item that stuck with with me, two actually, but one that bears note for Scorpio, the musical background. In one or more scenes, there was familiar tunes, but it was all in Spanish. Not my usual border patois with its mixture of Spanish and English, but more Castellian-sounding. Might’ve been South American, for all I know about the languages, but it was Spanish-flavored disco hits from the 80s. There was a single, gaping plot hole, and then, the music. Used in a chase scene, used in a climatic fight, used with that 5th Act twist? The movie was a waste of my hours, but the music and the search that it spun me off into? That has proven remarkable. Older music interpreted and rendered current through recycling. With the planets, I’m really pushing on Scorpio hard here, but with the planetary influence? Reusing, through a valid form of reinterpretation, that’s how we make substantial Scorpio progress. Bit convoluted, but it works.




Buddy of mine has two kids, and when the youngest — male — was in diapers? He was so different from his older sister. If her diaper was even a little damp, she would mewl until it was changed. The little boy? If he was busy doing something, I would smell something, “Dude, you need your diaper changed?”

Kid would shake his head “No,” and continue with his mission.

Difference between boys and girls? Difference between Sagittarius and Virgo? Or is there something else at work here? Boy–child with a mission, not looking askance. He’ll be happy to just sit in the mess in his diapers, because he’s busy.

The other 11 signs, not Sagittarius, are offended by the smell, and they all think we don’t need to sit in that mess — it smells bad — even though we (Sagittarius) look busy.

Good time to think about getting that diaper changed, taking the trash out, whatever the stinky situation is? Deal with it effectively, now.

“I would, but look, I’m kind of busy at the moment...”

Yeah, apparently, they can smell us from there.

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.