Horoscopes starting 3.29.2018

Whereof what’s past is prologue, what to come
In yours and my discharge.
The Tempest (II.i.217-8)

    Granted, Mercury is retrograde — but you knew about that. Part of this outtake from Shakespeare’s Tempest?

Think, “what’s past is prologue ...”
What’s up ahead? Up to us, my friend, up to us.

Horoscopes starting 3.29.2018



Aries The Ram

Homage. That which has come before. Roots. Antecedents. The music, what I was listening to isn’t important, but the musical thread made me realize that there are serious roots, much deeper than we imagine, within this current situation.

Happy Aries birthday!

Listen carefully — pay attention to recurrent thematic elements, the riffs that repeat, and loop back, cleverly, thinly disguised, but still the auditory ensemble copies itself and replicates, not quite the same, but close enough to easily recognize as a central element. A single, central theme.

Pause long enough with this current set of conditions, and listen. Pause long enough to hear the same material repeated back and forth, “call” and then, ”answer,” the same refrain, reframed.

Patterns. It’s really important to recognize the patterns in the current chaos.



The Bull

There was a monster in the last movie we saw, I’m not really a monster movie guy, but the monster, big teeth, snapping jaws, blood dripping from the fang-like teeth, ripping flesh, and so on, right? Usual horror movie tropes? After the movie, I made a snide aside comment about ex-girlfriends, and the woman with me suggested even her current date — me — could be so categorized. “Yeah, like my ex-husband, or current date,” her comment, then leered at me.

My original comment was supposed to be humorous with a bit of a sarcastic edge. Seemed like, that one date, seemed like she was firing back with more punch — kind of hurt, you know?

Over the course of a week or more, I figured out that the comment was merely a parry and riposte to my comment. I was getting morally offended, well, not really, but a little more emotional than the situation warranted because my off-hand, seemingly innocuous comment wasn’t as innocent as I would have it seem.

Taurus: Careful, especially this week, as people — think significant others — get more easily offended, or worse , take it wrong.

“Joke, it was supposed to be funny.”

“Not so funny when it’s you, huh, smart-ass?”



The Twins

With my Sister — she never reads these horoscopes so I’m safe — I learned to listen to about every third word. Can’t take what she says as gospel, nor can I even get attached to, “We re going to do this, then that, then over there...” Listening to every third word? I get “... then that” and that’s all I need from the conversation and torrential outpouring of material.

Sister is Gemini, an archetype, if there ever was one, for Gemini, in a good way.

So, while you might think this means I only listen to every third word from a Gemini, remember, that’s family. I don’t treat everyone like family, I tend to be nicer than that to clients and friends.

However, as a technique for dealing with the urgency, emergency, and exigencies of the weirdness in this week? Follow my idea, how I tend to deal with Gemini Family? Listen for every third word, listen for every third idea, concept, or statement.

Gemini: don’t get lost in loquacious verbosity obfuscating the simple message.


The Crab - the Moonchild

The Crab

Our parents gift us with an operating system, an OS, if you will, and I will. Religions, beliefs, character traits, and behaviors are all derived from upbringing, ostensibly, our home. Family tends to be the biggest source of this material, and while there is always the debate of “Nature versus nurture,” and I’ve seen genetics be a huge part of this, ultimately? Learned, for good or for ill, at the feet of our parents. Or parental-like units, however that might show up.

There’s a hidden element that tends to surface under these weird conditions. Blame me, blame Mercury in Retrograde, blame your parents, or blame your upbringing — sure blame anything (anybody) you want.

After your wee Moon Child self gets done having a tantrum, though, done with the blame and stuff? Realize that this issue, trait, behavior, or genetics — realize the source. Once we grasp where it comes from? We can change its outcome.

Part of what this week is all about, realize the source. Understanding the source helps, now we can see the root of the problem, laid bare for all to understand.

The Leo

The Leo

The Leo

One reason I adore Shakespeare Scholarship and Shakespeare Studies? There are very few facts available. Contemporary textual analysis suggests that a number of the plays were collaborative works rather than just done by a single author. It’s a widely accepted belief that the plays, the ones that came after The Tempest, those later plays were collaborative. But the actual facts themselves? Quite scarce. Not much to go on, but lots of good, healthy speculation. One of the better biographies? I enjoyed the way the author built a case and offered data as a speculation rather than fact.

What’s possible, but maybe, what might not be supported by facts. Sound familiar? My understanding of Shakespeare Scholarship and Studies has much in common with this week’s Leo Stars. There is a lot of lack of fact. Lack of fact has never stopped that silly Shakespeare stuff, and lack of fact has never bothered me, a silly Sagittarius, but I’m not The Leo, and as such, realize two inconvenient facts. One? Mercury is Retrograde. Two? A preponderance of seeming well-meaning energy presents as facts. Could be Capricorn, could be Aries, but the facts are thin, if there are any at all, and the resounding lack of evidence suggests that The Leo not build a case out of well-meaning, well-sounding information that might — or probably isn’t — true.



The Virgin

Funny story, a buddy of mine , I was helping him set up some accounting and other business systems on his computer, right? He’s got a two-year old daughter, at the time. She was fascinated with dragging icons to computer’s “trash can,” and hitting “empty trash” from the menu.

I would create a few empty documents, file folders, “untitled,” and let the kid move them to the trash with the trackpad then empty the trash. Satisfying. Virgo kid, they tend to be clean and tidy.

Can you see, with Mercury in apparent regrade motion, in Aries, can you see where this heading?

“Uh, yeah, hey. Kramer, you got any of that rescue software, the disk tools to undelete deleted files?”

Virgo: Pursuant to my typical Mercury Destructions, you do have a back-up, don’t you?



The Scales

Two admonishments for my fine Libra friends. One? Read the back. The fine print. The terms of service, whatever the fine print says. There’s special “frequent flyer” card I used, and the deal was, the free stuff, the rewards earned, there were certain conditions that applied. Not on a holiday weekend or for special events, which was what I wanted it for. My bad.

So? So read the back. The fineprint.

The second part is balancing this strict interpretation of the rules, and how that applies. Letter of the law and spirit of the law are sometimes on opposing sides. This time, at the moment, is about the letter of the law.

In my first example, though, the employee nodded at me, and waved me in under the spirit of the frequent flyer pass even though it wasn’t intended for that purpose, not according to the terms. Still, the spirit was observed, if not the letter.

You have to know the rules before you can bend them to suit your Libra desires.

Libra: I can’t promise that other people will observe the spirt versus the letter of the rules, but you have hope, right?




There is always a suggestion that Scorpio, as a sign’s primary influence, revenge tops the list.

“Yeah, well, we’ll just see about that,” says the little Scorpio.

Yes, I guess we will just see about that.

One of the greatest forms of revenge, I learned about from a valued Scorpio teacher.

“Oh, I never plan to get even, I just let them know I could.

“That way, they spend the rest of their lives, looking over their shoulders, worried about me.

“Hee-hee,” malicious giggle.




Seems like I start out the new year, full of hope and promise, with reasonable goals and situations in sight. Seems like I sort out the new season with reasonable hopes and goals, possible destinations, all within easy grasping, as targets. As possible ideas.

“This time, it will be different!”

Yes, this time will be different, sigh.

Not really, huh.

Mae West (Pisces?) gets attributed with a few cute aphorisms. One was, “If I like something I’ll try three or four times…” I couldn’t source the quote, so this might be apocryphal. Likewise, “This time will be different,” is faced with “I got to try this, my way, one more time…”

“This time, it will be different!”

Yes, doing the same thing, results in the same outcome. I’m not passing judgement — I am Sagittarius myself — and one would have to wonder, if this was a message merely for my Sagittarius self?

“This time, it will be different!”

Yes, let’s see, taking the same action, for a second or third time and meeting with the exact same results?

“This time, it will be different!”



The Sea Goat

It always amazes me how music can punctuate and add emotional timbre to a situation. This week has some foreboding tones, not that any good Capricorn is going to let that almost subsonic bass line scare you, but there is that. It’s about the different gradations of tones, and how you choose to react to the music.

I prefer “swelling strings,” as I get a specific, hopeful sense derived from the climbing, and mounting swell of a symphonic strings section, usually the violins and violas, as the tune mounts and starts to lift upwards.

This is a week for a certain Capricorn to hear to dreadful, foreboding subsonic bass, portends no good. All is not well. But some of us will listen more intently, and after that bass line? Swelling strings fill the air.

Capricorn: Listen for it. First the doom and gloom, then the hope, ascending melodies, lifted by the string section, sawing together.

Kind of cool to watch, but more important? Hopeful melody.



The Water Bearer

In the past few weeks, I’ve had metaphors that have gone horribly awry. This isn’t getting any better. Fortunately for Aquarius, a simile that doesn’t make sense doesn’t offend you — too much. Leastwise, not now. The problem being, in Aquarius, it feels like so much has fallen stray of the mark.

Not that it is unusual; it happens. But as I stray? This about this, in Aquarius terms, how, you think you’re making a point, that you are crafting delightful yet poignant image that conveys certain meaning, and to you — and me — the message is clear. The problem being? Not everyone “gets” it — the message. The intended message. Doesn’t get across to other folks.

Understand that our metaphors go astray. Understand that the intended meaning gets rent asunder. Grasp the concept that not everyone can get a grip on the content of the messages.

Once we have an understanding of misunderstanding? Makes it a lot easier for us to move forward. To these other folks, it looks like we’re blindly staggering forward. We know the destination, just realize, everyone else thinks we’re misguided.



The Fishes

For me, I can always entertain any notion with a slightly askew mental and emotional detachment. Part of being Sagittarius. I can think about something, then roll it over in what I am pleased to call my mind, then let that idea free. I imagine it circles around in my head then flits out one ear, free to haunt other people, but I will be done with the idea. I will have embraced — then summarily dismissed — whatever the haunting concept was.

Then, if that fleeting concept, idea, or thought pattern wasn’t worthy of being committed to hard copy (written down in some capacity), it is gone.

There’s some rather unsettling energies floating free in Pisces, and the trick? If this is a goal, no matter how nebulous it might appear, a thought pattern to be remembered, a certain destination you desire? Write it down, however that appears to you.

If you don’t want to recall the memory or fleeting image? Don’t write it down, and it will be gone — forever free, elsewhere in the cosmos.

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person.

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