Horoscopes 4.12.2018

    Sirrah, be gone, or talk not, I advise you.
    Petruchio in Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew 1.2.29

Mercury not so Retrograde

Horoscopes starting 4.12.2018



Aries The Ram

“You all say you want strong women, until you get one. Changes your tune — in a hurry!” True, true. However, I was raised in Texas, and I was raised around strong, independent women, think like this, equally at home with fishing and trucks as with lace and flowers. The perfect balance between tough and tender. Yes, this is prevalent in other places on the planet, but I can only speak from my own experience. Tough and tender, strong-willed, opinionated, and a force of nature. A force with which to be reckoned. Yes, all of that. Love me my Texas girls. Love the conundrum, too, poised by that one’s comment, “You want a strong woman until you get one….”

As Aries, especially birthday Aries, this holds true, and now, I’m not being sexist anymore, it’s the “You wanted one until you got one” scenario. The question I have, are you the one who wanted something — or someone — until you got that something — or someone? Or are you the one that other person wanted until they got an Aries and found you are a force of nature? I mean it in a good way, but I’m Aries compliant. I’ve been tested, I have the “I get along with Aries” thing in my chart. You don’t scare me; much respect, but no, I’m not afraid. However, I’m but one person suggesting that. Again, are you the one who wanted something — or someone — until you got that someone or something? Or are you the one that the other person wanted until that other person landed the Aries spirit?

Well, happy birthday, either way.




The Bull

Over many years, I collected and collated a series of digital images from the confines of Bexar County, essentially, San Antonio, TX. What started with zero direction turned into a strange assembly of imagery, oftentimes quite quotidian. One recent image comes to mind, titled 801S. Best estimate is that it is a construction or utility crew, preparing to dig up the pavement for improvements to the underlying structure. Might be an indication of an old or new address, as quickly as material changes in the growth of a city. However, the biggest part of the designation, 801S?

I was curbside, obviously, when I snapped the imaged, best guess is that it is a phone camera. To me, it looked like 801S. However, after I published the image, it garnered some questions, as in, was my number backwards?

For Taurus, this is about Point-of-View. My title for that image is 801S — and in my mind, that’s what it is, Eight-Zero-One, Capital S.

“No, man, that side of the street would be even, so it’s got to be 5108, you got it wrong.”

Taurus: Depends on how you look at it, now doesn’t it?



The Twins

Older fishing buddy of mine tends to get involved in the latest, “Make Money Now” deals. His latest was solar energy, and his best line?

“Not everyone needs Solar Power; only those people who use electricity.”

While the line works on several levels, his product was a little sketchy, to say the least. Love him like a brother, or, more so, better than family, but I don’t buy whatever he’s selling. I’ve watched as he’s gone broke on so many schemes. He keeps getting more in debt trying to make money, how’s that work?

So, loved the line, hope someone else picks it up and uses it, and my buddy? Still quietly amassing debt while trying to find some stratagem that works.

Two suggestions, OK, one don’t loan that guy any money unless you’re not worried about ever getting paid back, and two? Use the Gemini strengths — that was a good line, just not a good product.


The Crab - the Moonchild

The Crab

There was a recent business book filled with the heartbreaking stories about running a start-up. What struck me in the review, was the part about the original business plan. Going back and looking at the plan? Just heart-wrenching because the business itself never follows the proscribed and projected patterns. It becomes an exercise in what-if's that never will go correctly.

When I embarked on this business, many years ago? Little secret?

I didn't have a plan.

There were some nebulous ideas, roiling around in my brain, but no, no coherent strategy.

I am not a Moon Child (Cancer).

Not having a firm plan, though, resulted in a mutable and adaptable organism that sought its own level, eventually becoming what is my career. But no, no coherent plan. No maps, no schematics, no business plan as a proposal, none of that.

Because I had no plan, I could change course along the way, adjust and mutate, letting the intersection of art, science, and dumb luck, plus a healthy amount of creative persistence determine a logical outcome.

Plans will be thwarted.

However, being adaptable? That's going to lead someplace good. As I am wont to repeat, I didn't wind up where I thought I was going, but I did wind up where I was supposed to be.

Get it?

The Leo

The Leo

The Leo

One of the memes that cycled through recently suggested that Sagittarius would be a good skater. I'm not. Bluntly? Not going to happen. However, I did try. I rolled around on skateboard for few hours, and I determined it wasn't the most effective form of transportation for me.

I have great admiration for anyone who can skate (meaning skateboard). To that end, this week has one of those abrupt stops in it. Skater comes in with a decent head of steam, quickly dismounts, and then does that sideways kick thing that lands the skateboard in his or hers hands.

Watching someone who knows what he or she is doing? It is a smooth move, almost like a single, coordinated action. There are three steps, really, coming to a sudden yet graceful stop, dismounting, then the spin/flip kick to get the board into hand. It looks like one move, but it is really three.

I tried it. Fell on my ass. Comical. Haha. I don't have a shred of Leo in me.

The Leo, though, with some practice, you can make this look like that smooth, almost a single motion, grinding to a stop, stepping off, and kicking the skateboard into hand. Three steps. Looks like one. Make it smooth, maybe practice some before you skate up next to me. Three steps. Looks like a single motion.



The Virgin

I’ve had to grow accustom to the idea that the material played — elevator music — has rapidly become: Emetic Muzak.

Muzak was brand and a system that piped background music into quasi-public spaces. For years, they had a stranglehold on the market, having been in the right place, at the right time. I am unsure of what the market is like now, but judging from what I hear? Both content and delivery has changed.

When I hear certain tunes, certain songs, softly playing in the background at national — or international — chains, I have to wonder a bit. What happened? That was a protest song, it was meant to fly in the face of authority and Big Brother, and now? Big Brother has coopted the tune.

How’s that work?

Is this a change for the better?

To be sure, it is better than previous offerings, but the anarchist, revolutionary act, what has become of that?

Heavy questions, stemming from emetic muzak proffered. For Virgo, there’s going to be something that sits disquietly on your digestion. Blame Mercury but maybe, seek some answers to those questions.



The Scales

If I know I’m going to see a certain Shakespeare play, what I like to do is prepare. I’ll read or reread a couple of my reference texts, see what the standard interpretation of the play — or plays — is. If I have enough advance notice, I’ll snake a couple of free podcast lectures about the plays — or play — and I’ll make an effort to listen to the play, read aloud, a time or two. Just trying to familiarize myself with the material. Makes for a more enjoyable experience, for me, easier to grasp a director’s — or actor’s — nuanced delivery.

Likewise, if I know I’m fishing in certain lake, I’ll look and see what baits, what water conditions, what seems to be working best, for the time I’ll be there. A little bit of thoughtful preparation goes a long way in making this all a better experience.

With the fishing especially, many a fisherman fudges a bit on what’s working. At least, that’s my guess. As a Libra, this next week is about preparations. Whether this is for fishing, or a summer version of some Shakespeare classic in the park, either way, a little preparation goes a long way in making this better experience. Coming in on the heels of that pesky Mercury in Retrograde, this is the time prepare for what’s next.




You know, my excellent Scorpio friend, I’ve met very few people who “get” me. Not many understand me. Most folks think I’m just nuts. Might be true, but I do know a thing or two about Scorpio as I’ve demonstrated over the years.

This is sentiment I’m sure you’re going to share in the next couple of days. In part, this is merely a phase of the moon, going dark then lighting up again, that first crescent. In part, this is Mr. Mercury going un-retrograde, again, all to a benefit. In part, too, this is your own, inherent and innate Scorpio tenacity (stubbornness) wherein you absolutely refuse to give up.

Someone on the outside, not me, and not another Scorpio-flavored person will get it. I get it. You’re not mad, you’re not insane, or crazy, none of that. But you are grinding relentlessly on particular issue that desperately needs some resolution.

I understand your need with getting resolution, and I understand that this needs to happen, like, “NOW.” I get it. But like I warned, most people don’t get me, and most people think I’m bit touched in the head, mad, nuts, whatever. So I understand that your Scorpio self wants resolution, now. Not everyone gets it. Just warning, or a heads up, or, maybe, a reminder, that not everyone understands your drive, not this next couple of days.




One of the most curious kinds of readings that I get? Someone comes to me for consultation then wants to tell me what that person wants to have happen. Pains me when the person’s personal narrative doesn’t align with the way I see patterns etched in the stars, but I’m used to this, by now. It’s less of a consultation with an astrologer and more along the lines of me being told what the hopes and dreams are, then, if asked, how to make that happen.

I can help make the hopes and dreams come true, but I need some very Sagittarius assistance. Work with me, here, I can listen and offer suggestions on timing and appropriate actions, but my Sagittarius brethren and sisteren?

Steps are required. Action is required. Can’t sit there and wait for something to happen. As a Sagittarius myself, this is a reminder for me, too. Steps are required. Action is required. We have to move it. I know we’ve heard this before and there is a very lazy Sagittarius tendency to do nothing, but the old adage works, and it applies this week.

“Move it or lose it.”

Simply put, my friend, simply put. Action. We might be wrong, but it will help to move it.



The Sea Goat

Buddy e-mailed me about his current situation. Really, just his most recent cause. As a Capricorn, he picks up the fight for the underdog, the downtrodden, and the hopeless. I admire that. He picks up causes that have no way forward. I admire that. He valiantly tries to help. I admire that. He tries to rescue a situation that even the people involved in? Even they know that there is no hope. Doesn’t deter my buddy, no, he keeps moving forward, attempting to be a savior.

I admire his tenacity, his drive, his ability to keep trying in the face of outnumbered odds.

However, as much as I like to help, every time, ever since the first time I pledged assistance, I have discovered, it’s hopeless for me to do anything. I’m a good guy — I drink green tea, I compost, I mediate, and still, some days, I feel like running over pedestrians. I still want to flip people off, which, to me, is indication that I am not as highly evolved as I think I ought to be.

So, my fine Capricorn friend, when you latch onto the next causes, the situation wherein you are the savior, and you want to enlist my assistance? I’m thinking I’ll decline. Not meant as a slight, no disrespect, just, I’m out of charity. Looking at your stars, I wonder, if you’re out of charity, too.

Approximately 20% of my work is charitable, but I get to pick and choose where I spend that charitable donation. I’ve found I prefer people — organizations — that are tax deductible and have hope for real change. But that’s just me, Capricorn.

Perhaps if your Capricorn self was more selective in how aid was rendered, maybe that would make a bigger difference.



The Water Bearer

There’s this luminary, I’ve followed this writer online for years. I have adored his ability to properly craft words into coherent themes and expound about certain subjects. I pay for a membership to his site. A while back, he added video to his daily and weekly rambling posts. While I’ve have adored his work, one time, sitting on an airplane coming out the guy’s home town, I was wondering if I would run into him. If I do, as I imagined it, the guy would be a little bit of jerk in real life. He is so good at what he does, and I willingly part with cash to pay for his angst, his diatribes, rants, raves, and I agree with him on many points.

I’ll bet he’s an ass in person.

I was thinking about that, after I clicked out of a product review video. Yeah, in person? Bet he’s a jerk. However, as far as what he presents and how he presents that material? It is great.

Aquarius: I’m pre-supposing, pre-judging a situation that probably won’t happen. Damn fine writer, though.



The Fishes

In an article, online, probably from a British Tabloid-type of outlet, there was a stupid click-bait headline, “People who have more frequent sex are happier.” Kind of a no-brainer, wouldn’t you guess? The science behind the article, how does one measure any of that? What is a quite lot of sexual activity when I was a teenager and what a lot is now? What’s the difference? According to myth, not of my own making, I was superstar, at one time. Yeah, I’m not even buying that line.

“I did OK,” only comment from me.

However, as we age, I got to ask, and then, there is the way to measure. What is “More?” What is “Less?” Is there a specific number I should aim for to achieve happiness? Then, too, how do we measure happiness?

I’m a bit of stoic, at heart, so happiness is not exactly a measurable quantity with me. I learned, many long years ago, a day fishing, if the conditions are just OK, is way better than a day in an office. I happen to love my day job, so that might not exactly apply to me, but there is a balance point, and I don’t know, after many days, I’m just as happy writing as I would be doing just about anything else.

So with this Pisces horoscope, you have to ask, “How do you measure happiness?” And what is “Too much of a good thing,” whereas what’s “just enough,” or “just right?”

I managed to write about sex without answering any of the questions, too. What makes you happy, and does “Just sex” work, or do you need the romance, as well?

Me? I like a little romance, now that I’m older. Pretend you like me. Kiss me properly.

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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