Horoscopes for 1.31.2019

    Thy labour rather to be feared than loved,
    To satisfy thy lust in either part,
    Here am I come, and with me have I brought
    Exceeding store of treasure, pearl, and coin.

King John in Shakespeare’s Edward III III.iii.64-7

Technically, there is much academic discussion about whether or not the play, Edward III is either a Shakespeare play or pure Shakespeare play — but the quote fit with some of the stars, and therefore? I call it good enough. Close enough.

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Happy Birthday!

Horoscopes for 1.31.2019

Aquarius

Aquarius

The Water Bearer


At first this was going to be about a T-Shirt I saw, but then, I realized the message wouldn’t convert across a broad spectrum of Aquarius. One or two, maybe, would not only understand but appreciate the humor. Therein is the problem, though, with this week’s energy. It’s private, and not broad-based at all. While the intricate nature of the Aquarius mind understands this, once we’re out of the Aquarius comfort zone, essentially the single Aquarius mind itself, once we all leave that headspace?

Yeah, the jokes don’t go over, no one gets the humor, and strained metaphors are lost. The rest of the world, the rest of the non-Aquarius world? They just don’t “get it,” and since I’m not Aquarius myself, I don’t “get it,” either.

Which is the problem. No easy answers except, perhaps to laugh amongst yourself. Surely there is another birthday person close at hand, and you two can share in the merriment. The rest of us? Yeah, a lot of the rest of the other signs, the other energies as depicted by the arrows and symbols? Yeah, a lot, maybe most, if not all? Most of us just don’t see what you find so funny. Well, except for me, I get it, but only part way, and that’s only because I was looking at your stars and I understand that much.

Pisces

Combine disparate elements. Simply put? Take two items that don’t belong next to each other, and put them together. The obvious example? Peanut butter and chocolate. I realize that some of the readers of this web page have an allergy to some stuff, like maybe peanuts, but that’s merely an example. Me? I’m not a fan of chocolate, but again, this is merely an example. Disparate items that don’t usually belong next to each other. Disparate times?

Another example I really liked was some Latin music, complete with trumpets, accordion, brass, all of that? Or, another example, better yet, now that I think about it, it was mariachi band, doing metal cover songs. “Welcome to the Jungle.” More ways than one. “Smoke on the Water,” and “Sweet Child of Mine,” and a personal favorite, the national anthem of Australia? “Thunderstruck.” All done mariachi-style. Elements that might not belong next to each other, and that’s how to blend this week’s Pisces energies to move yourself forward.

Aries

As an Aries compliant person, I understand. The problem, the challenge, see, this is really two big planets, and some small stuff, but the big planets? Let’s look at Uranus and Neptune, Uranus in Aries, but at last pass, final stage, and Neptune, lurking along in the sign before you, Pisces. The dynamic is an internal patter that suggests, “I can see for miles and miles…”

There’s a huge ability your Aries self thinks, feels, like, like you can see forever and ever. You can see how all the cosmic cogs and wheels work, from solar systems and galaxies, right down to the sub-atomic pieces that are the foundations of the world we all know. All of this is clear to your Aries self. That much is good. How can you communicate this information to the rest of us? It’s a challenge, and I’m not sure that you should really try to communicate all that you know, see, and feel, at this moment? Great wisdom, excellent insight, spot-on intuition? Yes. Try to tell us how to use it? Maybe not yet.

Taurus

There’s a kind of check up that is required of my fine Taurus friends. There’s a cosmic overview required. I was watching some concert footage, and one of the shots was obviously a drone, zooming in from on high, getting closer and closer, then fade and pan to the star, then back out to the audience. It was that drone footage, I was thinking about, an overview of sorts. Wow, big crowd. Or crowd that looks big, although, I wonder, not sure. There’s a way to film it, zooming in on the drone’s feed, makes a few hundred people look like thousands.

Either way, this is about a cosmic overview for Taurus.

Choices, directions, ideas, new ideas, or old ideas that are perfectly useful. That was part of the reason for the cosmic overview, you know? There’s big desire for change, but change doesn’t always get us where we want to be. Change, just for the sake change? Works for me, but I’m so not Taurus. And the cosmic overview, try that, and I think you’ll find the old idea, implemented properly, works just fine, if not better. Take a moment, though, don’t believe what I say

Gemini

“A perfect body in 12 weeks, with our patented system!” I looked at the system. The biggest obstacle? That perfect body required exercise on a daily basis, everyday, for that 12 weeks. That’s like the elliptical in the garage, right? The treadmill that was in the bedroom then the garage, and finally on the back porch? The miracle 12 week workout to a perfect body? Same deal. I never bought any of those devices, nor, for that matter, did I ever even join a gym. I am a fair weather walker. But that’s me. As a Gemini, this week offers a new device, plan, product, with a low, low price of only… I don’t know, last one, the idea for this horoscope was a product that was over a hundred bucks, and I would bet that it would be abandoned by day three. “I’m going to work out every morning!” You get up early the first two mornings, then, by the third day, hit the snooze and sleep through the workout. “Oops, can’t be late for work,” and then the litany of excuses, “it was a rough day, too tired,” and so forth. Not like any of this is new. Instead of embarking on a Gemini voyage you have no real chance of completing? Instead of buying that new product that history shows, Gemini history proves it won’t be used next week? Instead? Work with what you’ve already got. Much better.

Cancer

There is a certain amount of “administration” that is required. In our “modern” lives, I let the computer — and other processes — handle as much as possible. However, I find that I have to do a certain amount of bookkeeping, or administration, or looking after details, paying bills, answering correspondence, that kind of activity. Returning calls, sometimes, that simple. Sometimes, this is a pleasurable task. Sometimes, it just takes time, and sometimes, there’s almost and overwhelming amount of details, and I feel like I can’t keep up, or, worse, I just don’t want to keep up.

Administration.

My recording keeping system is one that works quite well, as I can access a birth chart I did more than 20 years go, with a simple point, click, and type a few letters. Same for accountant data, or website stats. Whatever it is, I have pretty simple system that’s taken years to streamline. Still, it requires a certain amount of administration. This stuff doesn’t do it all may itself. This is the time to tend to some of the Moon Childrens’ “administration.” Not hard work, but if you can focus on the tiniest of details right now? This pays off huge in the coming weeks. Details, now. Big picture, success, later. Details, now.

The Leo

One of the most valuable teachers in my life has been one fishing buddy’s kids. I learned more from them, these days. Just being around them is fun, but they seem to grow pretty fast, too. One of them, he was about 3? 4? I don’t know, seemed tiny at the time, he had this habit of repeating the last few words of whatever I was saying, or whatever anyone said.

“Anyone said?”

And his repetitive phrasing, usually with a questioning tone, asked for clarity. Plus understanding.

“Understanding?”

Yes, he was a little copy-cat. Mime. Mimic.

“Mimic?”

See how this works? But as a bridge in conversation, plus, I’m pretty sure, for him, his little neural pathways were just forming, and he was asking so he could understand meanings better. Language is nothing more than a brain operating system.

“Operating system?”

While it was almost annoying, at first, when I understood it was his wee child brain trying to understand language, and the nuance of meanings. I was willing to learn about learning from a child. There’s a stranger little influence, and all I can suggest is that The Leo be willing to learn from the child.

“Learn from the child?”

Exactly, Leo dear.

Virgo

Borrowed from an online journal I tend to read, I learned a great travel secret, which, in time, has become a basic business tenet. Or life hack, whatever your Virgo self wants to call it. I’ve used, over the years a road warrior then just a commuter, I’ve used variety of satchels, messenger bags, backpacks, and suitcases. This trick is the simplest way to address what’s happening, astrologically, and I probably suggested this a few weeks ago — and no one listened. Here again, then? Hear again? After working out of the same shoulder bag, for several weeks, I decided it was time to “house clean.” All I did was dump everything out of my Every Day Carry bag. There were a couple of those peanut butter packets, a tattered but intact Oolong tea bag, still sealed. Tucked in pocket was some loose change. I like carry three or four pens, but somehow, I had accumulated close to a dozen. This is a simple, right here, right now, example of what I did. What you can do. It can be a purse, a man-purse, backpack, briefcase, suitcase, valise, I don’t care. Pockets. In a few more weeks, I’ll be in shorts full time, and my cargo pockets tend to accumulate a number of items, just like this. Whatever it is? Time for a quick Virgo cleanse. Not a wholesale, “Everything must go!” kind of a deal, but a simple, easy hack that makes life much easier. I found some forms that required signatures and needed to be mailed. Wouldn’t have found those if I hadn’t dumped everything out of my bag. See how it works for you?

Libra

Punctuation. Use it. The best example, this might be a little too close for one friend, but whatever. The simplest example is “Let’s eat, Grandma.” Compare and contrast to that without the proper punctuation “Let’s eat Grandma.” From most of the grandma types I have encountered, a slow-roast, think 24 hours on the BBQ pit, would work best, maybe decent salt and pepper rub, touch of cayenne, just for that piquant spice. Wait, this isn’t about some sort of sick, twisted cannibalistic humor. No, this is about punctuation. Mars, in Aries approaches Uranus, in Aries, and this is an astrological form of punctuation for Libra. What this means to some, “Put a pin in it, and we’ll get back to this. Later.” Very important, how we use this punctuation. There’s an instant, headlong rush, that seems to urge, push, coerce, and otherwise make a situation seem way more urgent than it really might be. Punctuation. Simple as that. A little astrological punctuation can save Libra, especially a Libra grandma.

Scorpio

There’s a “ticker” that runs on an old tablet of mine. Sits in my office, and taps a certain webpage every 90 seconds. Simple piece of code. Simple snippet of computer code, an easy set of directions, and what that tiny bit of code does? It checks a certain web server, and then, with its promise of “99% Uptime?” I can make sure. What that little window on a server really shows? The most frequent failure? It isn’t with the web server, as that seems to run fairly flawlessly with no problems and not much downtime in the last few years. No, the failures tend to stem from my local internet access. Living in the suburbs, for some reason reliable internet access, “Always on,” and “we never sleep?” I get sporadic outages. Weather has a part to play with this, as does local traffic, and the hours. Seems a 5-6 PM window, seems like the traffic is more intense, and that slows things down. Fiber optic, satellite dish, cable modem, old copper wires, I’ve tried them all. There is also a price/performance point, too, where I’m willing to have a little less speed in exchange for a much cheaper bill. But this isn’t about internet service provider, this is about actual service interruptions. I can tell, as my tickler — every 90 seconds — it checks and reports. I can tell when there’s been a local outage. That ticker, it helps me track real results. As a Scorpio, we need a ticker, a tickler file, whatever you want to call it, and have that check, compulsively, electronically, automatically, every 90 seconds. Helps to have facts, for dates and times when the sales guy — or repair guy — gets in touch to address our “problem.”

Sagittarius

The ubiquity of the “smart phone” is both a joy and heartache. This is also not brand-specific, or even device-centric. How this plays, I was toying with the settings, really, I was trying to silence an obnoxious alarm on the phone-set, and what I happened through, digging around in the settings and preferences? I found a way to increase the display size of the type. The font face, but I think neither is really the correct name for the display typeface. Just bumped the display size up from “Med.” to “Large.”

What it means for me? I can see without the reading glasses, or, I can make out numbers and directions, appointments, notes and filed data, all that crap we carry around on phones? I can see that material easier. Granted, with the larger type, there is less data on the screen, at a given moment, but I can read it much easier, with less chance of a misunderstanding. Turns out, my phone can also take dictation, answer questions, and adjust the thermostat. I’m less interested in that kind of action, and more interested in communications, which is what this week is about. Could be — for Sagittarius — something as simple as adjusting the font size and display face on the a phone. Might be more complicated like laptop, or desktop, or something else, but it could be super simple, like a phone’s display settings.

Capricorn

A new dawn, a new day. I don’t get out as often, especially not during the dark, winter months, I don’t see the sunrise nearly as often during these times. However, like a pink-tinged, rose-hued, icy-tendrils of light prying through the morning mist? It’s a new day and new dawn for Capricorn. With Saturn, though, I tend to see this as a new start to an old problem. A fresh set of eyes on an existing issue. A different way of approaching what seems to be an insurmountable challenge. Different views, and one idea is to merely sit with the problem, for a spell. Not actually tackle anything, just sit and look at the issue. Turn it over on its side, look around behind it, check the underside. The garage floor is cold, hard concrete. Yet getting down and looking up, under the truck? Makes it much easier to see what that noise was the other day, the troublesome sound. It’s a starting point. Looking at a challenge that seems to be impossible in this fresh light, the cold, harsh light of the new dawn? Looking at the Capricorn challenge now? Helps find new answers to old problems.

“Wow! I never thought about it like that!”

See?

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person.