The venom clamors of a jealous woman
Poisons more deadly than a mad dog’s tooth.

• Abbess in Shakespeare’s Comedy of Errors 5.1.68-9

Horoscopes for 8.13.2020

New Moon in Leo, August 18, 9:41 PM (Central).

The Leo

There’s a smell, an aroma, a certain kind of — hints at a flavor, but no, it’s not really a flavor. It’s just the smell of late summer. I think there was a dusting of snow in the Rocky Mountains, at least in some of the upper reaches. So this might not apply across to everyone but for me, the evocative aroma is one of cold water on hot concrete, and what was weird, I would catch a whiff of that as I was spraying water from garden hose in the backyard. I would catch a whiff of this smell, though, even in a trailer park in old South Austin, which had no concrete and no garden hose, so the smell itself, it’s just rooted in a memory from childhood. Early childhood, idyllic days when kids played on the street and drank water from garden hoses with no fear. There’s a moment’s reverie, a quick flashback to a simpler time for the Leo. Might want to water those plants in the Leo backyard, soak them all good this time. Smell that fragrance. I’m fixin’ to take off and be gone a couple of days, and it never hurts to soak everything before we leave.

Virgo

August tends to be hot and miserable. More so than before, so it seems. In Central Texas, I get to joke about this. I spent a lot of years bouncing around the Southwest, so I am familiar with really hot weather. I lived in the Phoenix area for years, and I saw the airport closed down because it was too hot for planes to land (over 120). We rode motorcycles out in that weather, one time. 117 or something. I don’t know, so the Texas heat is hot, but not that hot. There is a difference, though, and one I learned about in Austin. The air is, like, supersaturated with water. Moisture. It’s hot all-right.

But in Central Texas, South Texas this tends to be a wet heat. Not that bone dry warmth in New Mexico or points westward. The wet heat is very different. The only place I know of, more humid than Austin or San Antonio? Houston. I would recommend staying away from there unless it is in strict, air-conditioned comfort. Just a suggestion, pandemic constraints aside. For Virgo, like me, we’re used to a certain kind of adversity. Or others call it adversity, I just call it a warm day. Do as I do: “Sure, it’s warm, but it’s a wet heat.” Then, a little later, I’ll wring out a sweet soaked t-shirt I was wearing. Oh yeah, that’s part of it, I sweat in this weather. Body’s trying to keep my cool. Drink lots of water.

Libra

The joys of modern life and our super-interconnected world are sometime occluded. We don’t know how lucky we are, some days. No, seriously, I use to have to wake up, fix coffee myself, then have a desktop computer dial up a service in order to access world-wide web-type of content. That was, like even less than 20 years ago. Had to have something to access this, and had to work hard to get connected. These days?

These days I tend to not sleep with a phone in the bedroom, but if I did? I could roll over, in my sleep, hit a button, in my sleep, and post some illegible screed that would surely piss of a segment of the population. All in my sleep. Wouldn’t even have to wake up or work for it — at all. That’s a dramatic difference, and the bigger issue? This kind of ability to just roll over in bed and piss off a quarter of any given population? This technology and the butt-hurt feelings and the name-calling, all of this occurred in the span of a few short years, plus, this crept in, ducked in “under the radar.” Undetected? Sure. We go from having to work it to make ourselves available to the point that I now relish and consider it an indulgence, a guilty pleasure, when I’m in location where there’s no “cell” service, as in no way to connect. Take a moment, though, I understand that the human body sleeps better if there isn’t the electronic crap bedside.

As a Libra challenge for this next few days, disconnect. Shows up different for various Libra people, so the definition of “disconnect” will vary. But the idea is to disconnect from that ease of access. Well, after you read the latest from me. Then disconnect for a while. It’s a challenge for the duration of the week.

Scorpio

“Thy muse is a fickle bitch,” so sayeth, well, me. Prior to stumbling into this career, I bounced around, bereft of direction. In the back of my head, though, there was always a small noise, an incessant buzz, like a bug trapped in a jar, trying to flee. It was a muse, been with me all my life, I just didn’t understand what that particular muse wanted. Since freeing her from her captivity, I hear perfectly well, now. “Is that the correct word? It’s not spelled like that, you know. Didn’t you know you can’t use just comma there?” Kind of a Virgo-esque, nagging wife of a muse. Grammar goddess. Nasty with the questions, and the timing of the questions, from my muse, couldn’t be worse. “Worse or worst?, foolish little man.” See what I have to listen to? Looking st my extant canon of work, no one would guess I had a nagging grammar muse on my shoulder. “Dammit, I’m your angel!”

Shrug, “what-ever.”

For the next few days, until we get into Virgo proper, still a week away, and until then? Borrow my fickle bitch of a muse, and use her. This benefits Scorpio in ways you’ll never know, not if you don’t try. That nagging voice? Keeps correcting mistakes, worse than an auto-correct feature, and willing to argue point of grammar to clarify meaning? All of that benefits Scorpio. Spend a week or so with my muse, “No, you’re not getting rid of me!” “Nope, just loaning you out to help others,” as well.

Sagittarius

Summer squalls in Central Texas are not uncommon, but in August? Those are welcome, to a certain extent. Lots of the time, the tropic summer heat settles in, and there’s no hope in sight. Fishing on a local lake, there was a summer squall line fast approaching. We piloted into a “boat house” of sorts, a slip attached to a dock with a roof over it. I made to tie the boat up and my buddy paused, “Can’t.”

“?”

“It’s private property. Anything on the water is fine, can’t attach to their property.” He shrugged. Maritime law, I suppose, not a strong point with me. Think there’s a picture of me with a small bass, caught near one of the pilings for that dock — where we did not tie up but did wait out a brief summer shower.

Technically, we never tied up so technically, we never trespassed, so, technically, it was all good. The little bass boat’s gunwale rubbed on their rubber bumpers, and my buddy might’ve steadied us with a fishing pole on their dock, but we stayed dry, the rain line passed, and I caught a fish. I take this as a win. All depends on how you look at the situation, this next few days, that new moon, and all, but I’d take it as a win. Learn something about maritime law, catch a fish, and get cooled off. Definite win for Sagittarius.

Capricorn

There’s an inexorable sense of destiny that every Capricorn placement feels. “Meant to be this way, I guess,” followed by a shoulder shrug. Not always the way it is meant to be, but that’s what follows, that over-arching sense of destiny that seems almost too pervasive at this time. In part, this is merely a function of the planets. In part, this speaks to the individual soul’s development along this course of life, and, in part? This is about destiny. Next few day, the planets are carving out a special spot for Capeicorn, and some of this is foretold, or ordained, or whatever it is that you like to call that stuff, but you can see this coming. Right? You can see where this is headed? There’s a sense that some of this is fated to be, and instead of arguing with the fates — or however one wants to see this destined date? Instead of arguing with what’s going on, try to bend, flow, and be more malleable. I didn’t suggest you let them run over you like you were a doormat, no, that’s not it. But standing firm, in the face of certain adversity, that helps.

Aquarius

One of my subtle joys, now that the “internet” is a thing? I have access to song titles, lyrics, and refrains, plus publication data, like songwriter, musicians, where the song was recorded, all that data is now easily available. What it’s helped, and I’ve been doing this for years, I’ve been tracing old songs that I thought I knew the lines to, and seeing that I might be right or I might be a little off. I might’ve misheard that tune, back in the distant past, and I can transcribe those lyrics — or find them in their original published form, so I know what was being sung.

One song, I never could make out the spartan lyrics, and the refrain, the musical refrain, was all I need. Soaring guitar anthem, probably have heard it, if you’re of a certain age. Radio. Think it was not e radio — a lot. The favorite example, “Excuse me while I kiss this guy,” from another guitar legend. What this is about being close, not exactly on, but ever so close. That’s how this turns out for Aquarius, close, and it could be right, sounds like it could be the words that were being sung, but with that other musical interlude, who can tell? Now, you can go and look it up, and it all makes a little more sense.

Aquarius: Don’t be afraid to “check it out” as need be to assure veracity.

Pisces

Between the fishing analogy, a long-running conceit, and the use of the term, “Barefoot Astrology,” there’s a connection that folks assume I have with Pisces. I respect Pisces, but there isn’t a drop of it in my chart. I understand, well, as much as any normal person can, the Pisces mentality, but again, not a drop in my chart. I tend to favor Pisces, but I also have an understanding that I’m not nearly ever going to be good enough.

“Bless his heart.”

If you know the reference point, the comment is even funnier — it’s kind of a “southern” expression, dripping in sarcastic irony. “Barefoot” and “fish” are two common Pisces associations. The “barefoot astrology” was borne out of a different take on astrological conventions, trying to gently turn some accepted thinking a little on its side. Maybe not rewrite the entire canon of thought on Western Astrology, but at least give it a nudge. The “fishing” moniker was gifted by an early associate in this business, and he called me, “Kramer the Magnificent, knows, all, sees all, and Fishing Guide to the Stars!” Neither one has a real Pisces attribution. This next couple of days, heading into that dark moon, new moon thing? Careful with assumptions. In fact, no leaping to conclusions without supporting evidence. Even then, is it good evidence? Or purely circumstantial?

Aries

Many of the people I see in person have watched this happen to me. I’m there, I’m mid-sentence, and I freeze. I see about three different interactions in a chart, planets, positions, upcoming transits, the good, the bad, the indifferent, all at once. I get messages, about all three, maybe four or even five different story-lines, all at once. Not enough bandwidth to express all the story-lines the planets describe? Not enough ability to communicate all of the data at one time.

I freeze.

One fishing buddy he would refer to this as “buffering,” and working on data-driven, input-output material, sure, “buffering” is as good term as any. So Aries, like me, we both need buffering. The trick, when there are multiple incoming streams of data? Sorting out which one is most important, which data stream demands the highest level of interactions, and where that precious bandwidth should be expended? That’s when I freeze. For Aries, a well-timed, or even an ill-timed, but ultimately useful, momentary freeze while our brain tries to collectively sort out which incoming data should be addressed first? Therein is the secret to success.

“So I should freeze?”

Pretty much, works for me. Try it.

Taurus

Buddy of mine retired from the University’s psych department. He was a data analyst, couple of old-school computer degrees. He was in the psychology department, but he wasn’t a psych-tech, and he had no interactions with patients, clients, students. Still, exposed to mountains of data? We were talking about a mutual friend, and he was suggesting that she was “amping high side at the moment.” He would then trot out some diagnostic and statistical manual with arcane chatter and make-believe diagnosis. The real problem? Too much coffee that morning, a little too excited. Too much of any substance can alter our appearances, but it was just a situation wherein there was probably just too much caffeine involved. For starters, neither me nor my buddy are allowed to make accurate and realistic psychological mood judgement calls. We’re not paragons of virtue, ourselves. But as a way to express an energy, and explain what was going on, in a short form? I totally understood what he said, and his Department of Aberrant Psychology. “Amping high-side.” Knowing nod.

Taurus? Looks like you’ve had too much coffee, or something similar, and it looks like you’re headed towards a situation where you’re, where you appear to be “amping high side.” I’m not sure I understand all of the implication, nor do I even need to be making a judgement call, ever seen me after that third cup of coffee? Usual disclaimers apply, and that notwithstanding? Watch out for that over-zealous zeal. I like it, but I’m not stuck in a cubical with you all day.

Gemini

Some days, we “speechify,” and as a Sagittarius, I’m probably more guilty of this than most. However, having been forced to listen to myself, over and over? I hear what we sound like, and that tendency to “speechify” is greatly reduced. Doesn’t mean, hand me an opening line, and a topic? Could be a topic I know something about, or something I know nothing about, either way, I can fake it and orate with the best. Or orate as well. I can turn a brief interaction into a chance to grandstand, take center stage, and I still like my term, “speechify.” While loquacious and quick with verbal banter, the trend for the Gemini week is to speechify, and that doesn’t bode well. Holds no value for the listeners, and soon, the listeners go away because the tendency toward rambling discourse fills up the air space around Gemini, and the rest of us get bored. Turned off. Something. Not interested in the usual, wonderful Gemini fount of information.

Quick solution? When you start to speechify this week? Time to stop.

Cancer

Shakespeare’s Comedy of Errors is a fun play, when it’s done well. I’ve seen several versions. There’s slapstick, mistaken identity, a fair amount of rather bawdy humor, all the usual elements, mistaken twins, wives beating husbands, and so forth. Some of the wordplay is amazing, again , when done well. One recording of it, I listened to a few times, I have no idea, but I’m guessing the individual audio files were merely stitched together. Still, the interplay between characters was excellent. I suppose, in a studio, or in a studio-like setting, it would be easier to get that comedic timing near-perfect.

As a Moon Child, that goal of “near perfect” is the current perfection for which we all strive. That “near-perfect” is the goal. Understand that the play’s comedy depends on timing, and the ability of two sets of actors to look like each other. Visual support for the words? If you’re working in a studio, or studio-like setting? “Near-perfect” is possible. If this is really on stage? Mistakes can be fun, and the best idea is to keep playing, with my favorite mantra, “I meant to do that.”

Use as need be, next couple of days, “I meant to do that.” Covers a whole host of sins.

astrofish.net/travel for appearances

“Nothing runs on automatic.” – L.W. “Bud” Shipley, Jr.