Horoscopes for 9-28-2022

“Most barbarous intimation! Yet a kind of insinuation, as it were in via, in way, of explication; facere, as it were, replication, or rather ostentare, to show, as it were, his inclination, after his undressed, unpolished, uneducated, unpruned, untrained, or rather unlettered, or ratherest unconfirmed fashion, to insert again my haud credo for a deer.”

Holofernes in Shakespeare’s Love’s Labor’s Lost (IV.ii.6)

Horoscopes for 9-28-2022

  • Venus enters Libra 9/29
  • Mercury goes direct 10/3
  • Saturn squares Uranus (ongoing)


Libra Having dated a few Libra, I know of what I speak. In an argument with a Libra? Might be construed as being sexists on my part, but the genders can be adjusted as necessary, to make whomever happy. I don’t care. However, I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out, after extensive research and years of this material? Libra gets the last word, this week. If I was, as an example, arguing with a Libra, if it looks like she isn’t getting the last word in? I have that final, spike-the-ball in the end-zone statement? That merely becomes a fresh starting point for another “discussion,” usually about my mannerism, verbal tendencies, and how I don’t pay attention. If I — as a non-Libra — try for the last word? That’s merely an invitation to the next fight. While this is a Libraspecific horoscope, it’s more reminder for all the non-Libra people to quit trying to get in that last word.

Me? I can blame Mercury for my miscues. But that’s just me.


Two Keys Two keys to the kingdom? Two keys that will help you — help my fine Scorpio friends survive, thrive, and excel in these uncertain times? I use my own library cards as pure examples. I didn’t totally understand why these were so important, not until I was in full pandemic panic lock-down mode. Only then did I fully grasp why these were so important. Keys to the kingdom. I want my Scorpio friends to have keys to the kingdom, as well. It’s a little secret, and it is near-universal, just about every place has this kind of access, or something similar. The library is a source of data. It’s a warehouse for information. Some good stuff, some crap, some cruft, some entertaining, and some that has great value. I’m all about value for Scorpio.

ScorpioWhat’s better, in one form or another, libraries are freely available. Free works in this week, and that data, what Scorpio is looking for? Having free access helps. But part of this is about that serendipitous way of looking for that data, while cruising through the library. In my example, one is a library card where I have to walk into a library to read the books, but the other is a book-less library, that’s all digital. Either one works. Each Scorpio has an individual style, but you must admit, or it would be nice if you did acknowledge, I’ve just handed you two keys to the kingdom.


SagittariusAt what point do we go with reruns? At what point do we start to recycle statements? At what point do we start reusing previous material, taking the lazy way out? Question for our Sagittarius selves as I was looking forward. A familiar, and I’ve complained about this in the distant past, but a familiar example, from my own experience? The daily horoscopes tend to recycle a huge amount of material, like Tuesday’s Scorpio is next week’s Thursday Aquarius. Kind of a cheap shot, but after a few years, there are extant patterns, and it’s possible to reuse the same three tropes, love, money, job, over and over. When I was diddling the Sagitarius charts. I realized there’s an urge to recycle old stuff, and that’s a temptation I haven’t given in to, for over 20 some odd years. I did it once, doing a weekly and monthly as the same, and that backfired, horrendously. But just because I practice “No repeats,” doesn’t mean that the urge isn’t there. As a decent Sagittarius, the drive to recycle a previous post, a previous entry or just something that we feel like needs to be repeated, verbatim? Might not be in our own, enlightened best interest. In other words? “Don’t copy and paste.”

99-Cent Bookstore


CapricornMercury likes to dredge up old crap. Left over psychological detritus and other miasmic events, material our Capricorn selves might rather leave buried. Look: this is an echo. There are two ways to deal with this, head on, or avoidance. Me? I favor avoidance. I tend to look at what got dredged up, and then, grab a shovel to bury it again, as quickly as possible. I’m not shy about that. I’m not Capricorn, either. What got uncovered — again — not for the last time, but the issues, the crap, the festering wound that’s been re-opened? I’ve warned you about this, and now, taking this head on, straightforward, looking the problem in its face, and addressing whatever that noisome, miasmic mess might be? Kick it over, turn it around, or, better yet, hold your nose and go at it directly. It’s so much easier, at a later date if you don’t practice my form of avoidance. Just saying, my way might not work for Capricorn.


AquariusOne of my Aquarius fishing buddies had a good question. Looking at Mars in Gemini, and Saturn in Aquarius? There’s a brief planetary collusion, and what that means? My buddy asked, “If a rut seems to work, and it’s enjoyable, is it really a rut?” We were talking about fishing at a certain spot, and seems like we’re stuck in rut, but then the place has been productive for fish — pictures on the web someplace — and it’s fun, as each day seems a little different, so is it really a rut? Looking at this week unfolding, the days ahead for Aquarius? My buddy’s question seems to echo back and forth, “If it’s a rut, but enjoyable, is that really bad?” Saturn exacts a toll, but Mars lends strength, and that means, with Mercury gradually going un-retrograde? The question is about that so-called rut, and is it really a rut, or just a comfortable groove for Aquarius?


PiscesWith the passages of Mercury, and especially now, there will great moments of clarity — specifically? For Pisces. Great moments of clarity — in Pisces, for Pisces. Insight, understanding compassion, empathy, and most important, this is where the whole world makes sense. Doesn’t last long, and the bigger problem, there seems to be no way to communicate what you see, what you feel, what you inherently understand, and there’s no way to get this information to any non-Pisces person. They — we — them? Me? I don’t get it. I know you understand, and I know this gives you keys to unlocking the mysteries of the universe, and you can plot a way forward that’s best for all of us, but the problem? To any non-Pisces person? Sounds like gibberish. This all moves on and is better — eventually. But this week? Until my next horoscope rolls out on schedule? Remember, this is our secret, you have the keys to the kingdom, but must not share them, not now.


AriesThere’s a flash of inspiration, comes just as Miss Venus moves along in Libra, there’s that flash of Aries inspiration. Good stuff. But this is a flash, a moment, a short time, a quick bolt of insight. This is not a longer-term influence. Inspiration is great, love me some good Aries motivation, but it takes more than that. When this happens to me, I get this long list of goals I aim to accomplish before noon. To some, this would look like an impossible list, but to that brilliant Aries, it’s easy to see how this can all be done in the allotted time. The rest of us don’t get it. And not that I would predict failure, but the goals, that list, the tasks? It is a little unreasonable. That’s all from a flash of inspiration. Then reality sets in. First, you drew an impossible list that, in that moment, looked doable. Then, when the moment passes, that leads to despair since nothing gets done. Use that moment of flash wisely — possibilities rather than set goals that must be accomplished.


TaurusI think of a tiny drum pad. I imagine it looks lot like an older tablet, but with more keys and maybe some — some — I am unsure. Just, like a small calculator, OG? But that drum pad is missing a set of synthetic beats, some of them are supposed to sound analog, and that mixture is what drives Taurus forward. Some this is good. Some of this is out of rhythm, but still driving forward in a cacophonous rush. Some is seemingly syncopated, but as we try to discern the real beat? It’s not there. Something is either missing, or there’s too much, but it is close, and look, listen. Overall, the drive is there, but that beat isn’t quite right. “That’s not a ‘beat’ — that’s arrhythmic atonal noise.”


GeminiIndividually, we’re not dealing with big Gemini issues, but collectively, this adds up to a troublesome pattern. Mars is adding a certain kind of zesty, feisty to some, downright adversarial to others, kind of energy. Individually, Mars in Gemini is all right and useful when corralled and pointed in a good direction. But this is up against Mercury and its errant path, eventually turning direct in Virgo. As Mercury slows to a crawl, then appears stationary, there’s that Gemini insistence that everyone should hurry up. That persistent Gemini insistence is doubled due to Mars. And yet, the rest of us, the other 11 signs? We’re not moving at the same Gemini pace.

That’s a problem.

Separate out the elements, and it’s easy, but combine those disparate energies, and we still have a troublesome pattern.


The Crab - the MoonchildHave we been reduced to this? Apparently so. How many (greatest gen, boomers, gen x, millennials, gen z) does it take to change a lightbulb? “It has to be changed?” I left the parenthetical elements in the joke’s question in place as that seems more equal. I don’t discriminate, and besides, I divide generation by astrology signatures and referents rather than by years as defined by sociologists, anthropologists, governmental agencies, and that ilk. Similar, at times, but different dividing lines. What this is really about? What we use to draw our divisions, where we divide up that Cancer, Moon Children’s slice of the pie. It’s about what divisions — where the dividers are placed. Instead of using a knife or jagged saw blade? Maybe measure this all a second time before proceeding.

The Leo

The Leo“Got to give it away to keep it.” It’s that simple. Or seems that simple. Novel concept, but not without precedent, and in the magnanimous Life of Leo? That magnanimity plays a critical role in this next few days. It’s about giving it away. It’s about a simple, charitable donation. It’s about charity, either of the heart, or a cash donation, your call, and the individual situations vary, but think about making this an anonymous donation. I understand that anonymity goes against the some core Leo beliefs, but try it. There’s an inward desire to help, and that’d good. Do so — we start with Mercury Retrograde — do so with a degree of unspoken generosity. See if that helps make the days better.


VirgoThere’s an astrological error embedded in the horoscopes for the last few weeks. Part of this is fact. Part of this is strictly a typographical mistake, and part of the error? It’s subject to interpretation. The movement and motions of the planets, as observed, that’s science fact. What that motion means is subject to interpretation. That’s art, not science. The error, I left it in. I could easily enough just change the entry on the site, but there’s a point where interpretation plays into this work, and that error reflects data that has passed behind us. What’s in the past can stay in the past, errata and all. Special Virgo message, isn’t it? What’s in the past can stay in the past, errata and all.

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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