Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 11.13

    “Things without all remedy
    Should be without regard: what’s done, is done.”
    Shakespeare's Lady Macbeth in The Scottish Play [Act 3, Scene 2]

Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 11.13.2014

ScorpioScorpio: There’s a certain finality to statements, deeds and actions. I’ve long since learned to listen very carefully to my Scorpio friends. Never cross them, if it is humanely possible. Even if it’s not possible, I still don’t cross the Scorpio buddies. Not worth it, eternal fires and damnation. Nope, not worth it. However, that being noted, I’m but a sole voice in the sea of many, and I’m the only one preaching this message about not crossing a Scorpio. As this week unfolds, birthdays, Saturn, Venus, Mercury, all movement like that? The key to happiness is a single word that should be an action: forgiveness. I am unsure how to put it into action, but please, my Scorpio friends, please forgive us. Sometimes we act rashly. No need for you to reciprocate in an equally rash way. Except me, I know better. You get the idea, right?

SagSagittarius: As I sit here, examining the dark, underbelly of the Sagittarius psyche, I wonder. I wonder if I’m qualified to write about this. I wonder if I should keep pushing forward. I wonder if I should quit wondering. I wonder if my wandering brain needs some kind of medication. It’s the long, dark night of the Sagittarius soul. Maybe not a long night. Maybe just a few short days. Maybe not...

Might not even be a “dark night of the soul,” which is a poetic term I was introduced to in college. Since then, I’ve found that the Sun in the Solar 12th House is a time for introspection and navel-gazing. Worse yet, as a Sagittarius this pounds home a point while the Sun arcs its way through Scorpio. Venus heralds the not-too-distant arrival of glad tidings in Sagittarius. But none of that is here yet. Listen to what the dark-night-of-the-soul is whispering in our collective ears. I didn’t say hug it, just listen and take it into consideration. No need for action. Yet.

CapricornCapricorn: “Mom! Mom! He’s doing it again!” That’s the actual quote, with the subtext reading, “Make him STOP!” Brother-sister thing, I’m sure. My own Sister has accused me of many, similar actions (wholly untrue, but never mind that). As a stalwart Capricorn, you’re getting accused of something, you’re the “him” in this equations, as in, “Make HIM stop!” I’m not sure what you’re doing, and so far, you’ve gotten away with it. Begs the question, and the temptation, how much longer do you think you can get away with it, whatever the action is that’s making someone scream, “Make him STOP”? The first time was vastly amusing, the second time was funny, third time I still giggled, but the annoyance factor is starting to outweigh amusement factor. I’d suggest you stop before you get caught.

aquariusAquarius: Where does it come from? That’s the big question, from whence does it arrive? Where is it from? What’s the source? There was a discussion about media, and from that we got carried away, downstream, so to speak, with wondering where it comes from. I know where my own material comes from, I gather the data points from my own observations; it’s that simple. If I write it, I like to take credit for it. Given my tenuous grasp of grammar, there’s not much a chance of anyone else trying to take credit for my own work. As an Aquarius, the question about “Where it comes from?” that comes up -- this week. Have you prepared an answer? If not? Think you better have an answer ready. We’re probably going to need an Aquarius ‘Frequently Asked Questions’ answer sheet. This week, organize it now.

PiscesPisces: Ever wonder if Halloween can linger longer than the requisite two-day hangover? The leftover material, this isn’t about candy, not directly, but there’s a lingering effect, and part of this is strictly geographic. By way of explanation, I live and love South Texas with its strong Latin flavor, and that includes dancing skeletons from Day of the Dead, All Saint’s Day, and the sugar skulls named for ancestors. What that means is there’s a lingering effect, or maybe, it’s like a distant reverberation, from the first of the month, to now, as we get into the last degrees of Scorpio. Echo, reverb, lingering side-effects, who knows, exactly? Because, ultimately, Venus will square Neptune, there’s a mystical angle I’d like to implore its use. Suggestions? Find some of that leftover halloween candy. Sugar, in such a refined form, probably not good for us, but as a quick source of energy, it works. Might be the best thing, as this week carries that “Low blood sugar” sense with it.

astrofish.netAries: Nice, fancy even, place in Austin? Special menu, white board menu item that night? Cajun dish with “dirty rice,” then a pricey meal ticket in big dollars next to it. For that kind of money, I would think they could get clean rice instead of dirty rice. Because I’ve taken to buying food directly from a source, farmer or rancher, I know that some food is dirty. Try bacon that’s never been “cured,” and that’s ham with a totally different flavor than the cured, cleaned, salted, sugared stuff at the store.

“Uh, Kramer, that’s not what ‘dirty rice’ means.”

Oh. Well I didn’t know. Now I look like a fool. I don’t mind being foolish, if there’s a point to my foolishness. In this situation, there is: I’m trying to save your Aries self from making a similar, if not identical error. I’m but a silly Sagittarius; I can get away with it. Can you pull it off without looking stupid? I did look idiotic, but that doesn’t bother me. Would it bother you?

Or, you can just order the clean rice.

taurusTaurus: There’s some mighty strong planetary medicine headed your way. Big dose of “what’s real” versus what’s going on in our lovely Taurus imagination. I can’t help with Mr. Reality, as that’s never been a strong suit with me. I’m not the kind of guy who can deal well in the real world bereft of metaphors, allegories and more stories. I need non-reality to help me along.

Regrettably, reality is going to slap you in the Taurus face in the next few days. Now that you know? Two options: duck, or stand and face it. Personally? I’d duck, run, and get out of there. But I’m not Taurus. I’d stick with the first of the two options, first. As Saturn starts winding up for this slap on the Taurus face? Get ready to duck. Won’t alleviate the cause of the problem, but will alleviate the sting. Not running away is the other part. I suggest you duck the slap of reality, but not reality itself. You have a couple of days and when this horoscope is over, then this mission is fulfilled.

geminiGemini: From the Gemini zeitgeist? “You’re a psychiatrist’s dream!” I won’t agree, as I wonder if the shrinks are really any different from what I do, and I can cut through the BS faster. Besides, I can use a term like “past life,” and not have it raise an eyebrow. Try telling your shrink about the ghosts you’ve seen. Or therapist. Seriously, “How do you feel about that?” From the general feeling I’m gathering from Gemini-land, there’s too much happening, and not enough of you. Those “multiple personalities” that you’re accused of having? Why not try dividing up the tasks, the goals, and the jobs, divide them up amongst the various disparate Gemini parts and having each one assigned to a single task? Get more done, faster, that way.

cancerCancer: For several iterations, the various models and changes, the Apple iPhone has been an elegant answer to unasked questions. Stylish and stylistic with a timeless quality, the unit has always felt good in hand. Wonderful looks. Great ‘design.’ Every time I’ve bought one, the very first thing I do is find a large, shock-resistant rubber case for the phone. Last one might’ve been waterproof, too. Why wrap a truly iconic, artistic piece of work like that in an ugly, plastic wrapper?

In this example, this is strictly from my own experience, but I know that phone will hit pavement, concrete floors, bottom of the boat’s hull, all of that before the first month is up. I prefer the phone for function rather than looks. As such? Wrap in a protective case, first thing. Order the case and the phone at the same time. Pretty and shattered, or wrapped in an inglorious wrapper, probably plastic and rubber, but fully functional after a direct hit? Which one works? Hint: ugly but useful is preferably, well, for phones and such.

LeoThe (mighty) Leo: Do you know the difference between a semicolon and a comma? What constitutes a comma splice? Read enough of my work, and you’ll be the first to agree I can split an infinitive, and run-on a sentence faster than anyone else. I get excited and I forget to punctuate correctly.

As I spun the charts around for the mighty Leo, I kept thinking that this week is about punctuation. How it’s punctuated. There are plenty of good examples on the inter-webs in places, I’m sure. Punctuation matters. “Let’s eat Kramers here.” That is not a good way to say it. All wrong, of you ask me, I prefer, “Let’s eat; Kramer’s here.” In at least a portion of Shakespeare’s texts, the originals had no punctuation; it was later added as “breath marks,” a spot for an actor to catch his breath. Similar, in Leo, we need “breath marks.” Or, like I originally suggested, this week? It’s about punctuation.

“Lets Eat Kramer” or, “Let’s eat, Kramer.”

VirgoVirgo: The weekend before the weekend before Thanksgiving. US-only holiday, for the international readers, but there are precious few of ya’ll, so this is the weekend before the holiday that happens before the holiday. It’s -- for me -- an unofficial weekend off. Got a few details, but other than that, I’m good to go. However, for Virgo? There’s one last freakout, one last panic, one last “OH NO, what have I done?” That will be over before too long, and then you’re back in the saddle, back in the game, back with the plan. For some reason, Aerosmith music, old stuff, kept coming to mind. I don’t know why. Virgo and Aerosmith don’t usually get along.

LibraLibra: The fires that ravaged a portion of Texas, just a few miles east of Austin, some years ago, and I haven’t been back to fish there, although I hear it’s good again, but those fires? Natural part of life. Part of the cycle. Yes, there was tremendous loss of property, and yes, it was devastating, but it was also, as it turned out, caused by an electrical storm -- lightening strikes. Drought conditions, the whole of East Texas was like a tinderbox, just needed a bit of Mother Nature’s sparks, and there’s a big fire. The bigger picture, those were fires that are part of Nature doing Her business. In the geological record, the millennia recorded in tree rings, I’m thinking the California Redwoods here, the forest fires that we find so devastating are all a part of life. There are portions in the Western Districts of the US where the Forest Service started letting some fires burn, it was like a form of clear-cutting. In much smaller scale, I’ve seen this in local grass fires, along the highway, a careless cigarette butt ignites the grass, and two weeks later, there are green shoots of fresh, wild, prairie grass growing again. There’s a natural process at work, and we have to respect that process. Someone, maybe Nature Herself, is clear-cutting, burning, cauterizing, or just tenderizing something. Part of the process, Libra, part of the process. Follow this all the way through, not just partly.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.