Horoscopes for 6.18.2020

“How now? A rat? Dead, for a ducat, dead!”

Kills Polonius through the arras.

  • Hamlet act 3, scene 4

Have to include stage directions, no?

Horoscopes for 6.18.2020

Venus goes direct June 25, 2020 — around 1:48 AM. Alas, Mercury is still heinously retrograde.

Cancer

The Crab - the Moonchild
I had some “artisanal coffee” the other morning. From time to time, my extended family and I share bags of local coffee. This was that kind of specialty coffee from single source in the Middle East, part of a batch of beans, hand-picked, then the donkey’s name was — I can’t pronounce it — but all of that winding and wending its way to a roaster, who then hand-selected the bean, and then, carefully packaged it all after roasting. Wasn’t just good, was really good. But the label suggested hints of cacao nib, and certain floral essence with overtones of apple and clove.

I do not have a refined palate. I got “blueberries.” Seriously, opening, then carefully grinding just enough for a single cup of morning coffee, alert but wanting to savor the precious brew from the rarified beans? That first hint? Blueberries. To me, it was pretty distinct. Pretty clear, and pretty sure of myself, but I didn't get the chocolate overtones, or undercurrent, or whatever. What I got was a delicate hint of blueberry. Slightly fruity but not overtly so. In this next week, birthdays, summer solstice, and so forth? That package advertises one characteristic. What you get? Might be different. Still good, just not what the package advertised.

The Leo

The Leo
“That character Polonius, he just blended in with the drapes.” Joke like that slays me. Might be in poor taste, but that never bothered me. As the mighty Leo, though, remember what happened to the character Polonius in Shakespeare’s Hamlet, doesn’t end well. He hide behind the drapes in the room? Hamlets goes to have heart-to-heart with his mom? Yeah, doesn’t end well.

To compound this issue, with Hamlet killing off Polonius? Several characters were trying to hook Hamlet up with Polonius’s daughter, and nothing is more of a buzz-kill than offing one’s prospective date’s dad.

Hashtag, “justsayin,” you know?

In the realm of fiction, these kind of events occur. In the real world, the real, Leo World, this is a subtle warning. Hiding, either in plain sight, or behind the drapes? Doesn’t end well. No hiding from whatever it is. No hiding, no sneaking around. No eavesdropping. No trying to blend in with the drapes because, as we’ve seen, that doesn’t work well.

Virgo

Virgo
The best “Fried Green Tomatoes” I know of? Seafood joint, a place that strides a line between upscale dining and total junky diner. I knew the place, originally, because they were the home of “Oyster nachos,” and while that sounds terrible, a combination of elements that might not really belong with each other, in other venues, I’ve waxed eloquent about the oyster nachos, which tended to be a single fried oyster over a single chip layered with a fresh pico de gallo type of vegetable medley.

But this isn’t about oyster nachos, this is about Virgo and where there best fried green tomatoes are, at least locally. That one place, while grilled is the current trend for seafood, as a Texas seafood place, they have a long tradition of frying foods. Mostly fish, but the skill set, as it turns out, is transferable. Which, moving along for Virgo — give us the best fried green tomatoes anywhere. Originally of southern extraction, and mostly associated with “down home” cooking, the ubiquitous Fried Green Tomatoes has risen to prominence. In order to find the best? Instead of looking at diners and dives? That seafood place, they have the best. The unusual series of events, astrologically, demand that we look adjacent to where we think the correct Virgo answer might be. Adjacent. Logically, it makes a weird kind of sense, and that’s how this works. Who would think that a seafood place would nail the recipe for fried green tomatoes?

Libra

Libra
Back in the early double aughts (Y2K+), there was a certain taco place I liked. “Hole in the wall” doesn’t begin to describe the joint, as it was sandwiched between a “stop and rob” convenience store, and a Korean Baptist Church, in old East Austin. This was long before the gentrification started, might've been a twinkle in a developer’s eye, I don’t know, but the little slice of a kitchen, more like a kitchenette? The two — indeterminate age — women working? My border patois worked well-enough, and I was a skinny white guy who would order an occasional repast from them, merely tacos. Tacos that were less than a dollar each but thick with flavor, either some kind of beef or pork, maybe yardbird, I’m not sure. I never worried about the provenance of the food; it was rather tasty — all that mattered. A certain silliness is required, and this place, the hole in the wall taco stand? It checks off all of my requirements in the “Great street food” department. Questionable location, questionable sources, dubious language barriers, and — I’d like to think — I brought a certain kind of allure. Not sure about that, not anymore. But at the time, the food was plentiful and cheap, certainly functioned to keep me going. That’s what we all need, a slice of ‘street food’ — in some capacity, to just keep plugging forward. This is one of the worst few days, and the easiest way through it? Tacos.

Scorpio

Scorpio
There are two parts to this idea. First off, “Ranch Dressing,” itself either an abomination on cultural palates everywhere or the godsend to save us from otherwise boring foodstuff, but in part? What made Ranch Dressing such a big hit? I think, after years of intensive research, the equation is two-fold, two parts. In part it answers a need for a creamy yet slightly tangy dressing that can be used on salads, sure, but there was as place up the road from me that made “Ranch Dressing pizza.” Good stuff. I’m not kidding, great, even. Pairs well with bacon. Apparently, beer, but I wouldn’t know, not being much of a drinking person these days. But the other part of the question, why it rose to such heights in popularity, and why so many Europeans look down their collective noses at our humble Ranch Dressing? It’s basically a cream-like semi-gelatinous liquid that supports the secret ingredient. I was dining with a 5-year old and her lunch packed by her mom included some carrots and ranch dressing. The kid would dip the carrot in the dressing, then lick the dressing off, then dip the same carrot back in for more flavor. Bright kid. The secret ingredient? Plain, old-fashioned garlic. Garlic goodness is the underlying spice, part of a complex chemical composition, but yeah, the basic palate pleaser? Garlic. Balanced with a creamy delivery? Works well. This week has two messages for Scorpio, one about the chemical complex that carries the flavor, vegetable oils, creams, stuff that looks like it might be diary, and then? That secret ingredient, garlic. There’s a fine balance between what’s “enough” and what’s “too much” especially with the garlic. Or the Ranch Dressing. That’s the other part. What’s too much? Apparently, dipping a carrot in repeatedly is not too much, not for some Scorpios.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius
There are two items that were really working on the Sagittarius psyche at this time. Part of it is our “ruling planet,” Jupiter, as he aligns with Pluto. But part of this is also the action of the Venus Retrograde, and all of this action calls into view? Adds stuff from our collective Sagittarius pasts. Not always fun stuff, but perhaps there’s a way to deal with the problem. Problems. The wide panel display, high-definition, full surround-sound in the back of the Sagittarius head? That projector will overheat if allowed to run too long. Here’s the trick: get outside. Go someplace. Change location. Change direction. Change what you’re thinking by changing where you’re at. Simple solution to a complex series of problems, and while this is no long-term solution, it will work for the time being. All we are concerned with is temporary relief. Easiest way to get that? Change location. It changes how we see the issues and problems. Activity can also temporarily disable that brain thing.

Capricorn

Capricorn
There’s an echo about rewards for hard work. There’s an echo about what has gone before. There’s an echo about the future, based on where we’ve been in the past. There’s a warning about dwelling in the past, as that doesn’t serve your Capricorn selves well. This week is about echoes. Used to be a place in the mythical American West, “Echo Canyon.” Unsure if this is still a real place, or if hordes of tourist have overrun and the walls of the canyon are worn out from echoing back what has gone before. Which is why this can seem a little sad at times, that echo about what has been, but as Jupiter makes its alignment with Pluto? There’s a sense that this is about what has been before, and what is up head, based on the previous records. There’s an insane amount of hope available, but in order to get that hope moving in the correct direction? Got to give that Pluto/Jupiter thing a little nudge. A bump, or, to some, a little swing of the hips to move it forward. Just quick tap, swinging the hips from side to side to move this forward. Works wonders.

Aquarius

Aquarius
All about directions, goals, destinations, and purpose in life. Then, too, this is about what way we want to go. As an Aquarius-compliant individual, I know this last week was kind of rough. I understand that there are elements that feel like they are spinning out of control and designated to make your Aquarius self unhappy. Here’s the trick, as I’ve been through this before: pause to assess what is the most correct direction to insure long-term satisfaction. The way through this morass of emotional entanglements? Figure what course of action — for your own, individual self — determine what direction you are best expending the energy towards. In a few weeks, as Saturn shifts gears, yet again, that will change. But for now? Start plotting that best course — as it appears at this time.

Pisces

Pisces
Fishing buddy’s kids, one of them is all of about 5 years old. I had the kid for part of an afternoon, in the middle of summer’s afternoon, buddy had to make an emergency call on a job site. “Can you watch him for an hour?” I know my friends. “An hour” typically runs about three. I’m barefoot, of course, the kid is barefoot, brown as coffee bean from the summer sun, and shirtless. His little head of hair is starting to bleach out from summer exposure. But waiting on his dad, sitting on the front step? “This is what summer is all about,” I explained, “no shirt, no shoes…”

“And spray water guns!” He yelled.

I’m reminded of a similar passage in literature wherein the anti-hero notes that summer is brought by “Wham-O,” the ubiquitous brand of stupid summer toys like the water wiggle and slip-n-slide. I have neither compunction nor an appropriate space for either diversion. However, I indulged his spray water guns with wry — not dry — amusement. It worked rather well. He cleaned the front porch, took aim at pesky squirrels and annoying birds, and much fun was had. Summer is here for all, and Pisces, in order to maximize the enjoyment of the summer’s sun, as it shifts from Gemini into Cancer? Grab that kid, borrow one, or like me, I’m a makeshift grandpa, and enjoy. There’s a way to enjoy it, and it’s up to our Pisces selves to grab that and enjoy it, as best we can.

Aries

Aries
There’s an apocryphal story circulating on the inter-webs about a certain hiring process. In each intake interview, the hiring manager walks to potential employee past the coffee station, and makes sure the potential hire gets a warm beverage. Then, later in the interview, what the potential employee does with that coffee mug foretells whether that person will be hired — or not. If the person tries to return the mug to the coffee station and wash up? Instant hire. If the mug is merely abandoned along the circuitous route, then there is less of a chance of hire. In our post-modern era, I doubt that this tale is really true, but as an example? It works well. Go that extra step, step up, step forward, and see if that doesn’t set your Aries self apart from the rest. Just a token gesture, something as simple as washing a used coffee mug can go a long way to secure your future, and that’s a big deal, at the moment.

Taurus

Taurus
Force of habit, when I buy a new electric device, one of the first accessories I get is a case. Phones, tablets, laptops, just about any electronic? Get a case right away. In recent years, I’ve opted for better protection over sleek appearance. Bulky or armored is better, as I can be hard on equipment. Shopping the other afternoon, I found a case on sale. Deep discount, to the point of almost nothing, under $3. I almost bought the case, but I currently have — on that phone — a case that was more costly, slightly less attractive, and a superior protective container for the electronic in question. Here’s the deal: it as a deal. A steep discount, almost free. Less than postage, which was paid, as part of the deal. Should I? Should Taurus? Well, if it isn’t broken....

Gemini

Gemini
Recently, a buddy of mine wrote about having to decide what was more important, a holiday trip or a trip to see his best friend from high school get married to another guy. Gay marriage. Not arguing the politics, my backward thinking is that everyone should be allowed to marry whom they want, non-gender specific. But that’s me. My buddy, not named Bubba, thank you, wasn’t weighing the gay marriage question, no, but the way he put it? “I had to get my priorities straight.” I was thinking, this was a joke, right? Priorities straight, gay marriage? Anyone see the humor, ill-begotten that it might be? In order to get his priorities straight, the gay marriage, like, you know, a best friend for years and years, got to go to his wedding, right? It was the position of the words, and I’m not sure if his note was intentional — or not. Which is what this week’s Gemini is about, intentional, or not? I think the accidental nature of events, trusting whatever one believes in — at the time? Yeah, that’s the best way to go. Got a straight answer and went to the gay wedding.

astrofish.net/travel for appearances

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“Nothing runs on automatic.” - L.W. “Bud” Shipley, Jr.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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